((((AH))))



Wow. I am really speechless. Incredibly hurtful comments. My heart goes out to you.

I can only relate too well to your anxiety about the lack of responsiveness from someone. You are not broken. You just need to integrate and that is very doable.

I can totally empathize with your anxiety when your friend took time to reply - it's so second nature to assume anger or rejection isn't it?

Your ex-T... hmm... not good!

SB

x

((AH)) You have been through so much pain, and I'm just happy that your H is supportive of you. I do agree with you that assuming anger and rejection from someone you don't hear back from in a fair amount of time is so easy to think the worse, I do the same thing and it makes for a lot of stress. Your Ex-T has a big problem, and its definitely his Baggage, "NOT YOURS""!!!!! Its great that your new T is strong and is there for you. I'm glad she is aware of how poorly your Ex-T treated you. Stay strong, its all up hill from here.

Hi AH,

Sounds like you did really well (again!) in your session today. I would have hated the psych evaluation too. In fact, I probably just wouldn't have done it. I'm not one to stand up to T or anyone else, but I'm also really stubborn sometimes, and could have stared my T down til he gave up on the idea. . I'm sure there was a purpose though, so good on you for getting through it!

My trust in your new T is growing, and I'm glad that she seems to be on the right page now! She's right that none of what your exT did to you was your fault. He should have been protecting you, not hurting you. He was incompetent, and that's no reflection on you.

And I totally agree that this therapy stuff is hard work. I hope you are able to get some rest and relaxation in before your next session!

Saka

(((eme))) you are always so kind, thank you for the support It's funny when you mentioned exT having baggage, I remember when he made the comment I thought to myself later that day "Talk about baggage, I feel like he's sitting there with a pile of suitcases around him!!" I'm hoping it gets easier from here. It really helps to have so much encouragement from you guys through all of it, helps me not feel so alone. I think it must be a common reaction of many here on the forum to have trouble with not hearing back and assuming anger... I'd be interested to do a poll on that?

(((saka))) I'm sorry those evaluations are so difficult for you too There were a few different reasons for it, or else I'd have liked to do some glaring myself! The picture I get in my head of how I look during some of this stuff is if you've ever seen someone try to give a dog a bath when they don't want to go, and they lock their legs straight out, all the way to the bathtub? Some days I look about like that Thank you for the reassurance about it not being my fault too, I think I will need that drilled in my head for about a thousand sessions now unfortunately

(((sp))) It's amazing how much difference I'm feeling in being able to recall sessions with her vs. sessions with exT. I used to write down what I could remember after seeing him, and it was a marked difference- mostly hurtful things and being numb and spaced out, with some good sessions in between. I think it's a testament to how well she's able to keep me present with her, even the way she can get eye contact out of me a lot more. I'm hoping the more I can share without deleting from my fears will help me accept my own voice and story, and maybe mean something to someone, it's scary to put out there So thank you for letting me know it's meaningful to you, it really helps me overcome some of my fears to hear your thoughtful words!


Hugs to all