Wolfie, welcome to the forum! It sounds like you allredy have got some help from reading here- due to your desition to talk with your T next time. (its really nice to hear that other poeple reading here, feels inspired when reading here, thanks for good feedback!) Thats sounds like a very good idea to bring up those feelings in session! Which you figured out correctly, we are a bunch of people here struggling with different transeference issues! Sorry to hear you are depressed, let us know how things go? It would be nice to hear about yout session too..

Welcome again, i look forwared to get to know you better! All good wishes, and good louck with the session (when is it?)

Thanks Frog, nice to meet you

I see my T once a fortnight, next appointment is still a week and a bit away. I am keeping a journal and trying to work through things between sessions.

I am finding that the more I let my T under my skin, the more feelings I am having for him and the more terrified of abandonment that I am getting.

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I am finding that the more I let my T under my skin, the more feelings I am having for him and the more terrified of abandonment that I am getting.

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this makes a lot of sense... You are describing the vulnarable and sensitive part of therapy here. I experienced / experiencing this as a very fragile balance work...- To open and close .. the more you open yourself, the more attached you become too, and hence the stronger seperation anxiety. But nothing feels better than when one overwin the fears to speak up, and says something "risky" about our feeligs- just to learn that it is totally acceptable, and maybe even a good and healing thing..

Hi Wolfie
Welcome to the forum and I'm really glad to hear that reading here has already helped you. I commend your courage in planning on talking to your T about your feelings, I know it worked out really well for me. Let us know how it goes! Looking forward to getting to know you.

AG

Welcome, Wolfie...I'm so glad to hear, that this place has managed to make you feel less alone with what you are going through in therapy. Welcome here-we look forward to see more of your posts if you so desire!

Blackbird

Hello and welcome Wolfie
All of us who have found this community have certainly fallen on their feet There are so many amazingly open, caring and supportive people here who will instinctively reach out even in the midst of their own struggles Some are wonderful, eloquent and insightful posters, others not so (ie me!!) but the care is always there.
Many of us have been through or are going through transference, it's pretty much par for the course and we'll all advise to talk it through with our therapist/psychologist - mostly they aren't fazed at all and will utilise those feelings to help us - my T is!! It's funny, but when I first realised my transference was happening I was scared like hell, a bit obsessive and struggling against it, but now that I've accepted it, am open about it, I have a very warm, safe love in my heart for her and it's almost a comfort
Mustn't rave on (though it's unusual as I'm not much of a talker!)
Again, welcome Wolfie
Morgs

Thank you all for such a wonderful warm welcome, although I must admit I am not surprised after reading some of your posts on this site

Frog - I do hope that it is a healing thing, it has been so far and I have been with this T for about six months now. He is increadibly insightful and seems to find the path directly to my most vulnerable spots. Reading about transference in here has been encouraging (I am not alone in my feelings, but also scary because some of you have had bad experiences.

AG - I am encouraged that it has worked out well for you This is the first male T that I have had and I am finding it tricky as I have erotic transference as well which is scary because a large part of my issues relate to sexual abuse and related stuff (lowered of boundaries being one of them).

BB - you seem very wise and well informed as well as compassionate and caring from the posts that I have read...I am enjoying absorbing some of your shared wisdom

Blanket Girl - thank you for the welcome, I look forward to getting to know you better

Morgs - it is great to hear a positive story, thank you so much for sharing with me I am scared as hell to bring it up with my T in case he runs a mile - like I said I haven't had feelings this intense before, but I have never been this open with a T before. I really think that I am so open to him BECAUSE I am attracted to him which means that I lower my boundaries for all the wrong reasons it does seem to be working though as the therapy is more effective than any of the previous therapy that I have done...I really don't want to scare him away but think that it is probably important for me to raise it with him

Thanks ALL for such a lovely warm welcome, I feel like I have found some kindred spirits and it is such a relief to be able to discuss this with understanding people who are in the same boat

Welcome from me too, Wolfie! I love your sig.

Jones

Welcome Wolfie I'm glad that you found us here. I know how helpful it is to find a group who can understand exactly how you are feeling and what you are going through. It really is very comforting. I look forward to getting to know you better and I agree with Jones...you have a great siggy line.

TN

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I really think that I am so open to him BECAUSE I am attracted to him which means that I lower my boundaries for all the wrong reasons

Hi again Wolfie
"for all the wrong reasons?" You said in your earlier post that you've opened up to this T more than with anyone before - you've connected! Woo Hoo!!! However are the wrong reasons to do with having erotic feelings for him? That probably feels more tricky for you - with his training and knowledge of you and your history, he'll deal with that!! Take the pressure off yourself - that's where his guidance and boundary settings will come in. It sounds like you are building a trust of him so talk everything over with him, in person or in writing.
Gotta go now
Hugs
Morgs

Hi Jones thanks - I find Clarissa Pinkola Estes to be inspirational. I have been learning how to grieve and cry lately so it seemed appropriate!

Hey TN - hope that I get the opportunity to help others while I am being helped myself. It is just great to find you all glad that you like my siggy line, she is truly an inspiration for those of us with scars on our souls!

Hey Morgs - yes, you hit the nail right on the head, I am very attracted to him, I think that is one of the reasons why I asked him to take me on as a patient. He is super smart which I always find attractive, plus he is very frank and forthright. He has the most intense gaze and beautiful brown eyes...okay, so I am just a little infatuated. He is very kind and gentle, and very married (so am I) and has not done anything at all to breech or cross any boundaries - which probably just makes me want him all the more!

Hi Wolfie and welcome - I know you will get a lot of support here and find people who can relate to and share your problems,

starfish

Hello Wolfie and welcome to the forum. I’m glad you found the forum - it is a wonderfully supportive place and I hope you’ll feel safe enough to post more of your story soon.

LL

Hey Starfish - thanks for making me feel welcome I have already learnt much and taken comfort from the posts on many topics that I can relate to...it is very comforting.

Hey LL - nice to meet you, it is inspiring reading everyones stories, I hope that I am brave enough to keep sharing