I can't cope with this anymore. I have a therapy appointment on the first of September, but I really need to talk to someone now.

I'm under severe stress at work; I've been stuck with an assignment I'm not up to, in skills or emotional ability to cope. And since the assignment came from someone higher up than my boss, I have no choice but to suck it up. It would be fine if it were only a couple of hours a day each day this week, but...

I can't even take a lunch on Wednesday because I have six hours of back-to-back appointments which I don't really want to be there for, but again, someone higher up decided I had to be, and made the appointments without consulting me. I'm afraid I'll cry at an inappropriate time or run screaming from the room. Since that's exactly what I feel like doing...

And my landlord's coming in for a quarterly inspection/routine bug spraying sometime later today. I have managed to get some picking up done, but the bathroom sink clogged and I spent about an hour I'd planned to spend on cleaning, unclogging the sink instead! I had to take the pipes apart to clean the gunk out of them and put them back together. I now have six and a half hours to get the place looking presentable before I have to go to work. And that's assuming I don't take any time to sleep or eat.

Drinking is not an option. Binge-eating used to be an option, but hasn't been since I had a cancer scare a month ago. I've been trying to eat better and get some exercise. But I haven't always succeeded; I slipped last night and ate two Butterfingers, one right after the other.

I feel ugly and unlovable; the only people who ever really loved me unconditionally (my dad and an aunt) are both dead. My aunt died July 9. My last relationship--with a chronic liar-- ended six years ago. As for a new relationship, I'm too fat, I have too much body hair, and I need reconstructive surgery on my face which my HMO may not cover. So I have to worry about saving money for the surgery...

The few times I have "put myself out there" in the past six years, I've been rejected, sometimes after putting a lot of time and energy into it. I don't think I can love or trust anymore. But I wish I could.

I'm having a hard time trusting people at work now. It hurts to think nobody cares what I think or how I feel. And I can't help thinking it because nobody asked me how I felt about the assignment.

I want to call in sick. I want to buy a one-way ticket to somewhere else and start my life all over.

I don't want to be lonely. I don't want to be the pathetic person you probably think I am.