quote:

I've seen people here who don't necessarily experience the feelings but can still describe and own their abuse or trauma, etc

Hi, cat.

I think I fit into this category, maybe. But if/when I state "I was abused" or "I'm a survivor of CSA," it's only in a factual way (just the facts, ma'am)--e.g., at the doctor's office. And since most people DO NOT want to hear more, it's easy enough to say it and move on. In some ways, I suppose, it's a distancing maneuver when I just drop that fact out like it's another piece of data.

Here on the forum, there's a built-in distance and some sense of safety (being surrounded by others who have similar histories), so I can say it here too. But I have only said it (owned it?) out loud 4 times in my life and one of those times was with T. So... I'm not sure I really own a whole lot, even though I might give the impression that I do.

Not sure if that helps at all or even makes sense

RabbitEars

My counsellor makes me acknowledge the sort of upbringing I had, and that is why I am the way I am. I still just say, but that was just the way it was. Not sure I will ever be able to accept it as detrimental to my mental health as it "just was" I knew know different. So like you, Cat, how is it done.

RE - Thank you. It is harder to SAY than to write, and I agree with you about on the forum there is safety, and distance. I'm not sure if it's the belief that people do not want to 'hear more' (as in details) that makes me avoid trauma connections on here or not... hmmm. It's not I wish I could be detailed just I wish I could acknowledge easier. I wish I could post examples, but it just wouldn't be appropriate. Thanks for saying it might be an impression thing - maybe to explain stuff and to process in our own way.

Scars - Hey there, hope you are doing okay today. Is it hard that your counselor makes you own stuff? Mine will explain things but I don't really repeat back and I take a VERY roundabout way to discuss things. I'll let you know if I figure out how

I feel weird being confused. I think it has to do with other things I've been talking about lately as I adjust to processing. Maybe it is a fear of anger, but I don't think so at this point... a fear of acceptance. I think I feel like if I accept something I need to have xyz symptoms, need xyz in my therapy, etc. When I've got no clue. Even talking like I am now... that I have something to "own" makes me anxious and awkward.

Time helps Cat. It takes time to break down defenses we have built up over the years to prevent us from 'seeing' and feeling whatever label we have been given. Best to just go with whatever your feeling at the time.

((muff))

Lots of times lately I've been feeling this:


[space above left intentionally *blank*]


Finding my feelings is like digging in Mary Poppins' purse.

LOL, good way of putting it Cat. Yearn away Cat but don't wish too much for what you want or.....

In the meantime lots of cuppa's, and might help.