Wow, another really good question Wynne. You're making me think as much as my T does.

So in thinking about it, I think my T has pretty much been attuned to that. I mean, when she knows that there isn't much time left, she sort of winds things down. But, a few times she has said, "That's something good to talk about next session." And it was something important or as she calls it "significant," but not a huge biggie.

I have left some sessions though thinking everything was ok, and then a few hours later freaking out because of something we talked about. Did I say too much? Does she think I'm disgusting? Yada, yada, yada....... You know, all the "beat yourself up" stuff I can think of. I then usually call her and leave a very sad sounding message, telling her how I am feeling.

I know this doesn't answer your question, and I think it will probably be different for everyone. Again, I think it has to do with the connection you have made with your T and how well he reads you. I think telling him that bad things at the end of a session doesn't work for you, is a step in the right direction for making that connection. He will know better next time.

Thanks for making me think. I'm still contemplating this one.

PL

quote:

I have left some sessions though thinking everything was ok, and then a few hours later freaking out because of something we talked about. Did I say too much? Does she think I'm disgusting? Yada, yada, yada....... You know, all the "beat yourself up" stuff I can think of. I then usually call her and leave a very sad sounding message, telling her how I am feeling.

PL you described exactly what happens to me.

Wynne this is a very good question. And it is something that after a year we are still fine tuning. My T is usually good about winding down the session with 10 minutes to go and that allows me to get the emotions under control. Sometimes that is very difficult and when session is over I go to sit in his reception area. It is usually empty at the time I see him on Monday...he is usually the only T working those midday hours. He told me I am welcome to use the waiting areas as much as I'd like to.

This past session things were very emotional for me as I was processing some past trauma and I had to force myself back to reality and he even gave me extra time and it was still hard for me. I told him that short of keeping me in his office all day there was really no avoiding me leaving with lots of raw emotions dangling out there. It was no one's fault it just happens like that sometimes. And other times I leave in a really good place and feel calm. That is not the norm though. And like PL said, sometimes I leave and think I'm good and later I have huge doubts and regrets about what I told him and I get scared to death and shoot off a SOS email to him askinig for reassurance.

That said...I think it's good to discuss this upfront with your new calmT and explain how you feel about it. He will then watch the clock and wind you down so you have time to compose yourself before leaving the office. On the other side of the coin... I have dropped LMB's on my T at times (that would be last minute bombs... something you throw out at him right before exiting). I now try to avoid this as they leave me feeling really awful.

I think this is something that you will both work out with time and the opportunity to become more attuned to each other. He sounds like a good T and I wish you much success in working with him.

TN