Depending on what she means by "parts work," I think BLT is a great resource on this topic, especially if it's IFS related. I've come to know a lot about my internal parts since starting therapy, but they're pretty dissociated, and I get "told" or "shown" the information by them or internal observing parts directly most times, so I might not be much help in how to figure any of that out.

My T does a lot of parts work (not IFS) with me, and I do (as every person does) have different states of 'being'. Some are more defined than others and separate... I know for me I experience myself differently based on situation, emotions, or sets of beliefs. Sometimes I don't know what it's based on, and it's just who I am for that period of time. The differentiation of the parts of self can help isolate things to work on, patterns and ways of relating to self/others, etc. I know for eating disorder treatment in particular many times the therapist will try to separate the ED from the person. While I like this concept, I know my ED is part of me, and it's awkward to force it to be separate instead it's more like... having 5 opinions about something and my ED has it's separate opinion.

It works super good for me when I'm having transference with T because I can spell it out saying "Part of me feels like I want to attack you, and then a part of me also understands that I really don't have a reason to... so I'm trying to figure out why? Some part of me feels angry about ____ and then another part of me is worried about __________". Rather than "You hate me!!" which... I will say sometimes depending on "who is out front/leading the show/taking over" or "driving the bus" as my T would say.


I often do not like when Ts leave ambiguity with "parts" - leaving the client wondering what sort of obligations or expectations they may or may not have. I have always had a very strong concept of my system of existence, and if I've ever felt my T impede on my own experience and weed things out in a way I don't like I will tell her. Different methods work different for everyone but I find parts work SUPER valuable and think everyone has parts of some sort (work self, home self, family self, self-hating self, vulnerable/kid self etc).

I'm sorry your T hasn't helped with what you should be identifying. I'd ask her what sort of methodology and therapy type she is working and how it may/may not work for you and what it will look like as you go through.

We're doing "parts mapping" regarding to f.o.o. She thinks if we identify these early parts I developed when I was younger that would relate to identify parts I'm still using today.
I find it very difficult to follow & to concentrate on. I can't concentrate on much lately, it's just not there. I'm very used to CBT. I've read a lot about IFS & understand the concept; just trouble applying it. I feel very thick.

You just started to see this T, yea?

I don't think I could do what she's asking you to do if I didn't know her well!! To find younger, vulnerable parts of ourselves I think it's easier if those parts feel safe. It's been 3+ years w/ my T 2x a week or so and... just now I can barely get anything from "back there". No wonder it's hard to concentrate on Maybe it's different though, if it's "mapping"? Sorta being aware I guess and not feeling. Hm. I hope it works, be patient with you if you can!!

Anon & Cat
Thank you for your responses, it gives me much to think about. I guess I have more questions to ask T.
Thanks

Mudd - there is no way in hell I am ready to do any of this work. You have to have an experienced T and a T with whom you have a solid trusting relationship with (IMHO). You really have to be aware of yourself and what is happening with different interactions.

I am completely unaware and still in the initial phase(s) of therapy after 2 years of 2 sessions per week. Of all my issues I have probably only spoken with T about 20% of them - and I am no where near being able to look within or to concentrate on what is happening.

T learnt the hard way that if she pushes me that I shut down and dissociate. That is how we both realised I dissociated so much. I was supposed to concentrate on areas in my body, feelings that came up and to try and imagine where words, feelings, reactions were coming from - ie parts. For a start she was speaking a different language and then as soon as I had to be still to think - I dissociated. This all caused a major rupture for me that took months to resolve.

It isn't something that can be rushed.

At some point I did sense that I had different parts to me and they were distinct voices/emotions/impressions/moods that I had - I could identify 5 different parts and I can tell I react from them. Over a few months they were very strong - but now I am not as aware of them.
SD

mudd, there's a great therapy approach called schema therapy and if you look up "schema modes" it talks about different "parts" in a personality structure that is fragmented. It might help to orient you a little better and allay some of your anxiety

quote:

Originally posted by SomeDays:
Mudd - there is no way in hell I am ready to do any of this work. You have to have an experienced T and a T with whom you have a solid trusting relationship with (IMHO)"



I've never really had a trusting relationship w/ a T. I can talk to them & share things, but there are things I've never shared even w/ one T I saw for 12 yrs. I know this type of T is exactly what I'll b jumping into @ home which is y I think she's pushing for it. So I have a start here & something to take w/me.
I don't see the association of going back in the past, labeling things & expect to have it help in the present. Something that I've been doing for like 40 some yrs isn't really going to change.



At some point I did sense that I had different parts to me and they were distinct voices/emotions/impressions/moods that I had
SD

I've always felt like I was very different from everyone In my family. None of my 5 siblings are like me & I've always been labeled different.
I've always heard different parts talking to me in my head. Ever since I can remember. I always thought it was a reflection of different people in my life & their opinions. Some I listen to some I try not to. Some are evil & horrible & some are just sad. I don't think I know what the real Mudd thinks or who she is. Haven't heard.
I'm just not really sure those "voices" are a part of me when I've always viewed them as other people's opinions. Not sure I buy into that theory @ all. Does that make sense?


Thanks GE for the lead on trying to understand this. Is schema the same as parts work? It was a little too eye opening. Several areas rang too true, took my breath away & made me sob. I don't understand why.

Mudd, the schema modes are different fragments of our personality that aren't fully connected to other parts, so yes it is like parts work.
Perhaps the tears were about finding a resource where you felt understood? Or fear at the work that lays before you? Or the hope that healing could happen?
Hugs xx

There are many different schools of thought and systems around the general idea of "parts work," and I don't know which one if any your T subscribes to. Overall though, I think trying to "map" all your parts is a pretty ambitious undertaking. I certainly have not ever done that myself; I have no idea how many "parts" I have, I just know how to work with them when they come up in obvious ways. Hopefully your T can walk you through some simpler kind of exercises first or find a way to ease you into the whole thing...

Thanks BLT

I don't know what questions to ask bec I don't know what I'm doing, the basic concept or the reason for it

Then ask:

"What am I supposed to be doing?"
"What is the basic concept here?"
"What is the reason for doing this?"

Draggers, I hope you leave this here. It was really helpful for me to understand. Very informative. Thank you.

Thank you, Draggers. You seem to say so succinctly what I would like to. I understand if it gets taken down. Thanks for addressing DDNOS - not much to expand on it, its much overlooked, but follows many of the same 'contagious' things and system knowledge.

Thanks everyone for all your comments. Sorry I didn't mean to drop this thread but wanted to talk to T more to clarify.
One thi g she said is that she doesn't like to diagnose anyone w/ DID even if they have it bec it carries such a stigma to it. She would call it PTSD before DID. She also says she doesn't feel comfortable handing out diagnosis's bec we try to stick w/ a treatment plan, which can change as things come up. Now I have to say this female T is working very closely to my other T's @ home so I can step right into T as soon as I get home. She's been very good telling me this & keeping my T's in the loop. So this female T said she doesn't know if I have DID...yet. It may takes yrs to find out. I wasn't very happy to hear that.
She also explained the spectrum of DID. On one side is our "self" as a circle & around us are smaller circles that make up our "self". She said EVERYONE has parts. On the opposite side of the spectrum is DID. There's the "self" as usual, but now the smaller circles that make up the self are walled off from each other & have no idea there's more on the other side of the wall. In the middle of the spectrum is DIDNOS, where I might fall...maybe. Again there's the circle of self but there might be only one or two walls up to seperate the self. There may be a "soft wall" that may come down w/ more T & the main goal is to erase these walls so the self can see all the different parts & be able to live w/ them.
I don't know if any of this's made sense, but it did clear up some foggy areas for me. I guess I have to wait & see which to me is feeling of pending doom! Do I have a separate part of me? More than one? Will it come out? I just don't like that mushy feeling. I'm also not very good @ sticking w/ something for a long time.

The parts mapping I understand a bit more. It deals more w/ certain feelings I had growing up. Things that were good & protected me from certain situations growing up. Now we can take a situation from the present & map out what part is still protecting me & how I'm using these protectors from when I was say 6 or 10 yrs old. I'm still using those same protective feelings today. This concept took & is still taking me awhile to rap my head around bec my protectors have me doing things I hate, but they're doing their initial job of protecting & that's good.

During my very first session w/ my new T's @ home I asked how long all this T was going to take. I thought I'd get a traditional answer of "depends in the amount of work, blah blah" but she said 2 yrs. if I don't see some significant improvement in that time frame that there's not much more she can do for me. I think about her answer a lot & I'm still not sure how that sits w/ me.
Thanks everyone.
Muddy