Hey RT.

Basically, the anxieties about the relationship for me are the fears of the same things happening that have happened in past relationships. Like, T getting fed up with me or hating me for expressing myself. Or leaving without a care, or forcing me out because I'm stubborn and beyond help.

When first starting therapy, I didn't have a ton of anxiety about it, because it started like a lot of relationships do - it was kind of surface-y (ok, that only lasted about a session or two). But then we got into the deep stuff and we crossed into territory where all of the things I mentioned above normally happen. So the anxiety increased as time went on, because I kept (keep) waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Anyway, others may describe it totally different, but that's what it's like for me.

hi, RT. again, welcome to the forum. i assume you have similar feelings of anxiety tied to your T relationship. can you share your experience?

((((kash)))) i hear you. i went initially because i was having a difficult time in ending a bad marriage, so it wasn't all about me initially. over time, things DID turn more to just me and that was and is pretty fricking scary. too much room in the room.

and ((((outsider)))) yeah ... the feeling like he actually "cares". very scary and discomforting. like "are you for real"? disposable and invisible, yep. sorry you had the same experience.

RT, i can relate to all of that stuff you wrote about. right now i'm wondering if this is stuff you've shared with your T? how did she react? i think alot of my problem is that i don't know how to articulate my feelings and experiences. i have a really hard time with that. that and showing up with the expectation that your everyday life is supposed to just suspend while you go away for an hour and spill your guts to somebody and then you have to go back out into the wild and function. that's so hard. i can't just flip a switch like that. it's so hard. that's all part of the anxiety. that, and all the stuff that you wrote about. it is a tough row to hoe. i'm glad there's people like you to bounce stuff off of. gentle hugs ((((RT))))