Hi Group,

I am a newbie who stumbled upon this group after doing a few Google searches and not really finding anything that related to my situation, as in, something I could simply read. So I searched for a forum where I could post my 'story,' in hopes that maybe someone has had a similar experience or can offer some advice?

Also... I do generally 'lurk' in forums where I'm new for a while to get a 'feel' for the forum before posting... but I just feel I have to get this off my chest. I hope this is the appropriate forum to bring this concern.

I recently moved back to my hometown. Before that, I had been seeing an *excellent* T where I was living and I saw her from 2008 through most of 2010. She moved away in early 2011, then I moved away in May this year.

I started seeing a new T here in my hometown in June or July. I told her that my initial diagnoses had been depression and social anxiety. Not long after starting therapy with her, she said I seemed to have self-confidence issues... I assumed we were going to work on those.

Not long after I moved away from the town I was living in, I met up with a guy I had initially met online. It seemed, at the time, promising. I excitedly told the new T about the date, and before I could go into any detail about it she interrupted and asked, "did you tell him you are overweight before meeting him?" I was really shocked with the question. In my life in general when I feel confronted in any way I tend to "default" to whatever people want to hear (is there anyone else here who's the same way?) It didn't seem like she'd believe it if I said he knew but I was unsure about telling a lie. I can't remember what I eventually mumbled as an answer.

The new T then told me about a fat friend of hers who, in her own words, is "completely round." She said this friend also did the online dating thing, and she suffered greatly because of rejection but eventually, after three years of heartache, she found a husband who loves her for who she is. The new T also told me she has a blonde, (I'm assuming) slim friend who also does the online dating thing and has a lot more luck than her fat friend... she said something like, "it seems a lot of guys prefer Barbie dolls."

In the end, the "promising" date did not lead to much else after all. I do not do the online dating thing often and at the moment have closed out accounts with online dating sites. The last time I met someone in person, whom I had met online first was back in 2003-- a good eight years ago. It's just not a big thing in my life, but I feel the T has made it out to be. She has brought it up during every single session since the one in which I told her about that guy I met, except for one. She tells me how hard it was for her fat friend (whom I'm really feeling sorry for, as she's an example in this context only because she's fat) and gives me an example of something that happened to her friend, and then asks me if I have gone through something similar. In one instance she said that at least being fat will help me "scare away the jerks." During our last session she said she felt weight was a deal-breaker for men, and if I agreed? I personally don't think so, because I've actually had a few guys say they like my body as it is, but again, I felt the need to just tell her what she wanted to hear although I felt terrible doing so.

I can't stress enough how it's the therapist, not me, who has brought up my weight in almost every single session since July. Seems the comments would actually be welcomed if I had been the one to bring it up. If I shared my date with her it was because with my old therapist, I had been working extensively on making myself available to guys. The old therapist was always excited for me when I'd come a step further in this area, and I guess I was expecting the same from the new T. If I had known she would focus on my weight so much for months on end I would've never shared this bit of info with her.

I also cannot stress how sick and tired I am of hearing about the T's fat friend, as she seems to have little to do with my life and situation and serves only as my T's point of reference.

At the moment, I am considering stopping therapy. I just don't know how to tell the T that she's "crossed the line" (as one friend suggested I do). I'm afraid she'll tell me I need to hear how overweight I am, for my own good. In fact it's left me completely discouraged, not only on my journey to losing weight, but also when it comes to relationships.

The therapist has, it seems, completely forgotten that we were going to work on self-confidence and other issues I had discussed we could work on toward the beginning of my therapy with her. These days, after I tell her about my life since the last session she inevitably asks if I'm still considering dating, and then reminds me I'm overweight as if I don't already know.

With my old T, I was the one to bring up my weight and she helped me work on it... I lead a healthier life now, with better food and exercise and have lost some weight-- not a lot, but a little. I don't know if the new T would even believe that. She seems to have no objective to her behavior. She literally just calls me fat, then leaves it at that. Questions about dating lead to me being told I'm fat then the T just sits and looks at me, and I just sit there and squirm in my chair and shrug my shoulders.

Just wondering if anyone has had similar experiences, if so, how did you handle it? Did you cancel therapy or bravely tell the T how you felt? Am I just being a big wimp here, making an issue out of nothing...? I could accept if someone said my fat a** needs to spend more time in the gym... whatever it is, I just want some honest opinions.

Thank you for reading my post....