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12 replies

Physically Ill...

room2growroom2growCo-moderator
I have been having a really rough go of things as of late, and haven't been on the boards as much as I'd like. I feel bad reaching out for help when I've been unable to offer support in return Frowner

But I'm desperate. I've never been in this "place" before.

I had a pretty good day - lunch and a movie with one of my only good friends. My morning was rocky - an appointment that generally runs on time was over an hour late, and the waiting room was anxiety-attack-inducing loud (but I had no meds with me to calm the attack, so I rode it out, semi-successfully.)

Anyway, I really did not eat well today. I think I over ate - waffle for breakfast, power bar for snack, salad and sweet potato for lunch, and then popcorn with no butter at the movies. To top it off, I came home and had a chunk of chocolate chip cookie.

Now I feel sick, like I need to force all I ate out of my system. I don't throw-up, but I do know that if I drink the apple juice that is in my fridge (for a little girl I babysit) I will be violently ill. And at this moment, I want to drink the entire bottle of juice so I can get rid of all the crap I ate today. Which would not be the best thing to do. Or a good thing. At all.

But I'm desperate. I feel so out of control right now I'm actually nervous. It's not anxiety, though, which is why I haven't taken a xanax, it's something weird, spacey almost. I'm sick to my stomach, but I want to eat more junk. This is a scarily new sensation.

Suggestions? Please?
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yakusokuyakusokuMember
Frowner I'm so sorry. Do you think water would also make you feel ill? Sometimes, some ice cold water gets me through the type of thing you're describing. Also, laying down and trying to nap. It may feel yucky for a while, but I agree that just trying to get rid of it would not be the best thing for you. I know there are others who might have more advice for you...I struggle with irregular eating (either almost nothing or way too much), but not with the sort of temptation you're describing. I'm more likely to react by just going the other direction for a few days. I don't think that's a good idea. Maybe keep it to things that if you think of eating don't make you immediately ill (carrot sticks or apple slices usually work for me).
room2growroom2growCo-moderator
Thanks Yaku. It's funny, kind of, cause I think my brain is hungry, but the thought of putting anything else into my body makes my stomach turn.

I have to take my meds right now, and I don't want to walk into the kitchen. I usually take them with a sip of chocolate milk, but right now, the thought of putting anything in my mouth is nauseating. Thing is, I have a splitting headache, and I usually try to eat something to see if that helps, instead of reaching for the advil... It's too early for bed, too late for a nap, and my T is away for the weekend. Crap. Crap, crap, crap...

I want to go back and start today over. This freaking sucks.
J janedoeMember
I've been in a simillar spot in several ways...

As far as physically feeling better, maybe something like 7-up or club soda would help settle your stomach?

For me, when I have felt like this, so sick - distraction helps a lot. It helps me endure the phsyical icky feelings, and the emotional ones, without acting on it more. It's also good anytime I'm feeling sick. While it's too early to take a nap, what about resting and watching a good movie? Would that help?

I hope you feel better soon - in every way!

~ jd
room2growroom2growCo-moderator
Thanks DF and Jane...

I had never thought about finding something useful for the phonebooks that always show up at my door! Great idea DF! A walk would be nice - heck, anything would be nice, but every time I stand up I get dizzy. I very well might be dehydrated, but this *feeling* is very different from past dehydration episodes (yes, I've been hospitalized b/c of dehydration before, but it's been over 10 years since the last time that happened, and I did drink quite a bit of water today.)

I am trying to distract myself by reading through the archives here and by hanging out on the psychology today blogs - lots of interesting articles. I figure that the more time I spend here, the less time I'll spend alone tonight?

I think my brain thinks it's physically hungry? Emotionally, aside from the anxious morning, it wasn't a bad day. With this 3-day weekend, I even stopped at the library and picked up a few books to read, and a movie to watch. I thought I'd be fully distracted Frowner

I am wondering if it was the popcorn I ate at the movies this afternoon (no butter) I rarely eat popcorn, but I ate an entire small popcorn by myself. Ewwwww....

I have to take my meds in the next 10 minutes as it makes sleep next to impossible if I don't get them down early enough. Frowner

Maybe I will pop the movie in, and plan on sleeping sitting up on the couch, if need be.

I just gotta make it through tonight, right? One day at a time...

(((((DF, Jane, Yaku)))))
J janedoeMember
Yay! glad you were able to get it down and I hope you feel better soon. I'm chilling at home with a movie myself tonight.

Please know, you never ever have to give support in order to receive support here. You give to us just by posting about you and your battle. I feel a lot less alone in my own battle with this in my own life just by you posting about it. Thanks for sharing it with us.

~ jd
N ninnMember
quote:
Please know, you never ever have to give support in order to receive support here. You give to us just by posting about you and your battle. I feel a lot less alone in my own battle with this in my own life just by you posting about it. Thanks for sharing it with us.


I have been lurking, mostly, posted one time in a different area of the forum and Yaku responded to me, but I felt the need to respond to this. How wonderful for you to say this JD. I feel so much less alone coming here, to read what other share, too. I have therapy once a week and it isn't enough, so coming here helps me pass the time with less anxiety and depression. Thank you everyone for sharing.

Ninn

"Failure is only an emotion, but it becomes a reality when we quit." Erik Fisher, a psychologist and co-author of The Art of Managing Everyday Conflict.
True NorthTrue NorthCo-moderator
R2G... I hope you feel better soon and you can get through the weekend in good shape. I'm not around much tomorrow but will be around on Monday. My session is Tuesday this week as Monday is a holiday. Don't worry about giving support right now... take what you need from those of us in a good enough place to provide it. Your turn will come soon enough Smiler You will be doing well and able to help someone else who is struggling. It all evens out in the end. Just take care.

Ninn... welcome. Glad to see you post. I'm glad you found us and that we help you to feel less alone, especially between sessions. I know it's hard sometimes to wait so long for therapy. There is no requirement that you have to post to take the support we offer here. Everyone helps when they can.

I look forward to hearing your story when you are up to talking about it.

TN
yakusokuyakusokuMember
(((R2G))) Glad you are going to rest now. I am wholeheartedly with the others here, just sharing yourself and what you are going through is a blessing. You never know if something you say is going to make someone feel less alone or alien, just knowing that another person out there in the world feels the exact same way. That has happened to me several times on this forum. Even if that person was just reaching out for help, it may still help others. As TN said, everyone helps when they can. I don't think there is a single person on here who hasn't gone through a day (or even a season) of just needing support. I know I have had a few stints like that in my four months on here.
room2growroom2growCo-moderator
Thanks all - it was a tossing and turning night. It's times like this that I'm glad to be single and have a queen size bed to myself...

Today has been no better thus far, made worse by the to-do list staring me in the face. Additionally, my pool finally opened today, and it's almost warm enough to swim. I want to be out there, in the water, with a book... but I can't get myself out of the house Frowner

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