Hi Sparkle,
Nice to meet you. IMO you have a right to be pissed off. I don't know how long you have been seeing your T but if that happened to me I would be out the door as fast as I can.
Going to therapy is hard enough and you have to talk about alot of unpleasant things. So to start off a session like that would set me off. One thing I like about my T is that even if our last session did not end well or we were having some problems she would never behave like that. If she had to discuss insurance or money issues she would say there is a problem and we would work out a solution. I hope this helps.

PG

Hello Sparkle,
I feel like she might have felt bad or awkward telling you about the money situation, and that might be why she just blurted it out. Not that it makes how she handled the situation acceptable, but I think money in general is an awkward thing to talk about for clients and probably therapists too. It worries me too that she started the session talking… has she done this before? Just as an example, my T always waits till the end to talk about whatever he needs to say, or at least after I’ve talked for awhile.

I think whether or not to go back would depend on how long you’ve been seeing her, and also how much you feel like you have invested in your relationship with her. Do you feel like you could express how you felt about the situation so the two of you can work though it? If you haven’t been seeing her for very long, and your already feeling like you shouldn’t go back, then you’re probably right.

-Mac

Hello Sparkle, Welcome!

Unfortunately, I have been in your very situation with one T I saw for only a few weeks.

The insurance company made a billing error that I didn't know about and when I went in for my session he plopped down a printout of the supposed charges that I "owed" him. He even Highlighted the amounts!

And his tone was very snarky, as if to say "I'm right, you're wrong". And he did it at the very beginning of the session. Ass! So I ended up aggravated and discussing THAT the whole session. And worst of it all is that is was after hours on a Friday so I couldn't even contact the insurance about the error until Monday morning. I was mad all weekend!

And all I could think of is if he took the time to print it out and highlight, why didn't he just phone me and let me know beforehand that there was an issue. That way I could have investigated it before going there.

ARgh! Needless to say, I left him after that. There are professional ways to handle these issues and as Ts a bit more compassion is often expected.

Let me know what you end up doing with her.

Either way, take care of yourself.

hi again,
thanks for the responses, really appreciated. I have been with her for a year now and this isthe first time she has behaved in this way. I agree, this is something she should have brought up at the end of the session. I am seeing her on Tuesday and I am going to tell her how I feel/felt and challenge how she put it across. Depending on her response, I will then decide if I go back. I did trust her so much and got so much from our sessions, but this has really darkened the trust and relationship I thought we had. Is this what they call a rupture???x

Sparkle-
Good for you for talking to your T about it. I hope you get some relief from talking about it, but also don’t get too discouraged if you don’t solve everything in one sitting. For me ruptures sometimes take a few sessions (or even longer) to completely work out. We have the first initial talk which does make me feel a lot better, but then there is still a little hurt or worry left after that takes a few sessions to work its way out. The darkened trust that you talked about can take a few weeks to start to build back up.
-Mac