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Dreams and more fantasies with emotion indicate the Ma remains in my head. One dream indicated I was able to rescue myself from a great flood ( ma.)

In fantasy with emotion the Ma was a hideous 3/4 dead thing that I felt compelled into destroying again and again.

I realized my nocte fantasies of destroying the world are in fact wanting to destroy my mother/my world/mother earth/ the shape of which represents food/breast.

I feel freezing cold, and tense while holding this rage in. The child needs to feel again.

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