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Problems with this site

S sweethoneyMember
I am posting on behalf of my team and a few other colleagues in this psychology department. We are concerned about this site and how it is moderated and have been warning our own clients and students to browse and read but not post. The main issue has been around how the moderator whom you call Attachment Girl does not in fact moderate in that she is not able to impartial and terminates those who do not agree with her or she seems to feel threatened by. It has happened more recently with the incident with the participant called Sadly, who was worried about her session times. People including AG tried to indicate that she was manipulative and her therapist weak. This was a real 'red flag' as you here would say. We are so concerned about how this issue was handled that a letter to the APA about how Dr. Suzanne LaCombe and AG handled the situation is now being drafted. It is worrying that sites like these have vulnerable people on them being targeted by inexperienced people posing as pseudo psychologists. We have noticed that another person, Shameless, attempted to bring this issue out in the open and urge the moderator to be moderated to some degree but that this was ignored. I would warn anyone using this site that there is a underlying assumption that you agree with the moderator at all times and that you keep more or less within the remit of the 'inner circle's' views and opinions. We do not consider this to be either healthy nor supportive. We suggest that a properly qualified moderator takes over and not someone who appears to be so defensive or feel threatened to the point of excluding those that she seems to not like. That is not what the role of moderator is for. We shall continue to advise clients and students to watch the site sometimes but not actually join it as it has some very unhealthy dynamics which are not being addressed openly and indeed there seems to be no forum to discuss such issues. any attempt to discuss them seems to end in the 'moderator' closing the thread or terminating the participant.
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yakusokuyakusokuMember
quote:
The danger is when someone insists their way is the RIGHT WAY ALL THE TIME FOR EVERYONE.




BG said it best.

As important as it is to take in information and then decide for oneself what one believes is best/right in any situation, it's also important to make an effort to understand and respect that others may have different backgrounds, experiences, temperaments, needs, etc. that may not fit into the model that works for another person, especially for something like therapy, where one's subjective experience of oneself and the therapeutic dynamic is so much a part of the content and process. There are certain basic things that apply across the board, but everything else expressed is often just "what works for me," or "what works in most cases," or "what I see from my perspective."

I have had strong opinions expressed to me here in the past and it was hard, but I knew then and still trust now that they were expressed out of love and concern for me and spurred me on to taking better care of myself and taking risks to work on very scary stuff that helped me so much in my therapy. Some of the stuff expressed, I agreed with. Some of it, I didn't. Even when I didn't agree, I still highly valued the time and effort others put into trying to help. And even though I have been hurt here and there (umm...I think it's referred to as human interaction) and had to retreat/regroup, the perspectives I've gained from being open to others' thoughts has been a tremendous help, both in learning more about myself and learning to tolerate being hurt without having to run away.

I'm not suggesting everybody who has come here feels exactly the same, but that has been my experience of this forum, over time, as I process the things that have been shared with me. I find that I'm growing as a person who relates with others, so in my case, it has been positive. I can only speak for myself.
beccabeccaMember
Ok, I am pretty new on here, but I smell this as a fake post from a mile away. What psychology department? Come on, if you can't do better than that, don't waste everybody's time reading your damned, ignorant post. Get over it, there are disagreements and that can be a healthy thing. This site has been very helpful to me, in the short time I have been participating.
starfishstarfishMember
I do not think that this site needs defending - for anybody reading the posts and the replies that are written out of love,care and concern will see what an amazing, supportive and diverse community we have here. I am truly saddened to see such a personal attack on our Moderator and the seemingly deceitful way in which it was carried out.

I do not know the reasons entirely why Shrinklady terminated Sadly's membership, but I do know that people here were posting their thoughts out of concern for Sadly's well-being and because she had sought an opinion about her therapy situation and so it was being given.

starfish
strummergirlstrummergirlMember


Oh, I get it. This is a late April Fool's joke! Good one! Well, actually, not really, because you're harassing some really awesome people here. But seriously, the APA??? REALLY? Are we THAT dangerous? OMG there I go again...



You're killing me here.

I think if you go back and read Sadly's thread, we were all trying to HELP Sadly. And after all that, SHE turned around and decided she had NOTHING to be concerned about after all!! She "resolved" her issue, sweetie. And we all let it go (although I think many of us were kind of stumped as to what her concern was in the first place...but, whatever). So what exactly is your problem? What exactly are you going to report to the APA?

Whatever it is...good luck with that!!!



SG
B born2writeMember
OK I missed the "Sadly story" so I don't know what is going on there, but let me say this....this site has been extremely helpful to me. Judging by the above comments and the other threads it seems to be helping a lot more than it is harming.

I have nothing bad to say about Sadly or AG, or anyone else on this site. We are a mixed bunch of people and there will always be varying opinions. We just need to be careful and considerate with our opinions.

To everyone here who has helped me and supported me - thank you!
cocococoMember
This site has been a huge source of comfort and education for me. In fact, it is the only one I could find that really showed me I was not alone or crazy for all the intense emotions I was feeling in therapy.
It makes me sad to see anyone trying to devalue the forum or discourage others from seeking help here.
True NorthTrue NorthCo-moderator
This site and the wonderful members here helped to save my life when I was abruptly and harshly abandoned by my oldT. I was already a member but I leaned heavily on many here who offered me a safe place to come and talk about the trauma I was struggling with. And when some trolls attacked me for no reason other than just being malicious, my friends here circled the wagons and kept me safe and protected. I will never forget that and am grateful always for that care.

As for AG, she has done an amazing job of keeping things safe for us under difficult circumstances. I cannot ever recall her saying that it was her way or the highway. She has always made it very clear to me that what worked for her would not necessarily work for others because we were all different and had different T's and different issues. She has never acted as a pseudo-psychologist or claimed to have more knowledge than anyone else here. She has only generously shared her experiences and her knowledge and done so in a gentle way. I do know that we have some differing ideas on things but she has never made me feel that my opinion did not count and her way was the only way.

I think it's really funny that you would report a CANADIAN board to the AMERICAN Psychological Association. Aside from that the whole idea is just They wouldn't even give you the time of day.

TN
divadivaMember
So I've been biting my tongue with this particular situation but I think it has gone way too far.

The situation with sadly ended, well, sadly (no pun intended). I wish her all the best in life. As for this accusation, which psych department are you referring to exactly? Red flag much? Anyhow, I've found this particular forum to be quite helpful and very insightful in my own personal growth and my relationship with my T. They huddled around me when I was away from my T and needed her desperately and praised with me in my successes. I look forward to getting to know everyone a little better! I don't know AG all too well, but from the posts she's left me, I find her to be very fair and openminded as most of us are here since we're all different and have all had different experiences in life and in therapy.

I also think its very ironic and shady that these random people have suddenly showed up out of the blue on Sadlys behalf when everything was just fine before this whole incident occurred. I don't know exactly what happened but, like I think most of our Ts would say, it's best we just move forward. What's done is done and yes, it is unfortunate that someone got hurt in the process, but it's not ok to try and bully or scare people into guilt or whatever emotion or action you're trying to provoke.

Let's just all take a deep breath, let go of all the negative emotions surrounding this situation, and move on. Yes? K, cool.
B bltMember
The sad part about this whole thing was that prior to this whole post, I was willing to give Sadly the benefit of the doubt about a lot of things she posted that seemed improbable at the time. But when you post something like this, it just makes it obvious the extent to which you are willing to make stuff up. People on this board took their own precious time to try to help Sadly, and they were rewarded by being bashed and/or lied to. That really doesn't seem especially fair.
smileysmileyMember
I'm not totally sure of what happened with Sadly, and quite frankly, I don't care. Those of us who tried to help, we did because we wanted to. True or not, it really doesn't matter. It's the way we are. For those who are turning, this sounds like an angry mob. I don't like it and I think it's crazy.
You are who you are - that's it. Enough is enough!
Attachment GirlAttachment GirlAdmin
Thanks to all of you for your kind words and presenting me with such affirmation. I do care deeply for the people in this community, and its lovely to know that, by and large Smiler, it's returned.

I also am happy to see so many people acknowledging the support and acceptance that they have found here. I know what this community has meant in my own life; it's good to see other people feel the same way.

I am going to close the thread at this point since people have had a chance to comment who wished to do so, and it was a chance for the community to speak up for what they have and love here. However, Sadly/Shameful/Sweethoney has been banned and has no way to respond, so I think it's best if we end this here.

Thank you all again for such an outpouring of care and support. You should all be proud of the community that you have helped build here, I know I am.

to all.

AG
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