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L lieseMember
I struggle sometimes trying to find how I've grown in therapy. It's easier when I compare this year to last year but it's nice sometimes to see the growth as it is happening.

My 14 year old has always been a challenge for me. For the past year, I've been focusing intently on my relationship with her. It's been incredibly rewarding as we've grown closer.

Last week, she was tired and stressed and fell back to some old ways of behaving, which meant mouthing off. At some point during the week, we acknowledged that we had been struggling lately. She made a comment to the effect that her anger ruined our relationship and it was beyond repair.

It meant so much to me to be able to tell her that our relationship was stronger than that and it would be fine. It would survive and be even stronger. I loved being able to give her the room to get angry and know that I wasn't going to abandon her. I've really learned all that from you guys. Yes, and from the ruptures with my T but from you guys too.

Thanks.
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closeddoorscloseddoorsMember
((((Liese)))) i could have written this about a year and a half ago (actually, am still going through this!)

i absolutely do struggle with how i've grown in therapy as well, and whenever T starts talking about how different i am, i tend to think he's full of sh*t. am i selling myself short? perhaps.

about a year and a half ago or so, my daughter was SO angry with me that she kicked a hole in the wall. i would NEVER have expressed such anger in my youth! so, i was actually quite impressed and *happy* that she was comfortable enough to express such powerful feelings. she didn't learn them from me!!

and from that, we had some discussion, and we fixed the wall together, and it was a bonding moment and wonderful and i thought " i never had this kind of moment with either of my folks ".

and, same as you ... i'm learning a ton from T ... it's such a slow process! but i'm also learning a ton from folks here on the forum, in ways you'd never even think.

so, go on, us!!! it's a wonderful place for alot of reasons! Cloud Nine
armoredheartarmoredheartMember
((Liese))

Wow! that is powerful and something to really cherish as a really positive experience! I learned just from reading your post, it dawned on me that I haven't even considered feeling safe with anger as something that was possible. Now I have some deep thinking to do, and a new task to add to the list... Smiler You should be so proud of seeing all your work paying off Smiler

AH
L lieseMember
Thanks everyone. I really meant it when I commented on how much I've learned here. The best part was the relief on her face when I said that our relationship was stronger than a little bump in the road. It's cool to look at this stuff from an emotional regulation standpoint and know in the moment that she needs me to stay steady for her.

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