Hi Elly...I do have some thoughts but it's really late where I am and so I will try to get back here this weekend.

I do agree that going more than once a week is really helpful in regulating my emotions and building a trusting relationship.

TN

hi elly,

i see a psychoanalytical psychotherapist but i'm only seeing her once a week. my T has said that more than once a week would be preferred (especially for someone with 'deep seated issues' like myself ) but its been difficult to find a time because of our schedules so at the moment it is a possibility for the future. my T has a 'couch' which is orientated so that you're not facing each other, and also a chair so that you face each other. i have to say, i tried the couch for a few times and it freaked me out - i think i'm just not ready for it. i still feel like i need to see her so i can read her reactions etc... even though, i have to say, she is not very 'reactive' at all.

the differences that i found (compared to my last T who was psychodynamic) are:
1. like i said, she is not very reactive, doesnt show what she is feeling, she is very 'blank slate' - which was pretty scary at first, but as time went on, i guess i did see some reactions once in a while and decided she is human, not an evil T machine one advantage for this i think is that it brings YOUR reactions (transference) more into focus, which can be scary but it is a chance to work on them as they happen.
2. she has VERY strong boundaries and is very consistent. i get a real sense of 'strength' from her that i have never had from anyone else in my life, and this is what kept me going because i found it very hard in the beginning
3. she does allow some outside contact (email or phonecalls) but seems less generous with it and i get the feeling she doesn't encourage it.
4. and she never 'offers' anything - i had to ask her about the outside contact myself when i was very distressed. so yeah, its hard, she is very non directive and waits for everything from you - which i find so maddening sometimes!
5. she doesn't feel very 'warm', rather more 'business like'. this suits me fine however, as i'm not very warm and fuzzy myself, but there are times when combined with my own transference (seeing her like my cold unavailable mother) it can be really painful.

anyway, these are my observations and experience. i think her extensive experience and good boundaries and consistency make her a good T. but i'm not always sure about the 'blank slate' and the 'non-directiveness' which i think are main elements of psychoanalysis, i think a little more warmth and humanness wouldn't hurt.

do any of the above feel similar to you? it's good that going more often helps with establishing trust - this is something i'm hoping for the future as i have huge issues with trust. but long have you been seeing your new T for and how do you find the 'relationship' so far? or is it still very early days?

puppet

Hi, thank you for your thoughts Puppet. My T has told me there are 5 different schools of psychoanalysis, hers is "object relations" and they believe that for healing, things need to be dealt with on an emotional level. So she encourages more emotion than insight. She is very warm, but she is definitely not directive, in terms of initiating topics of conversation. I think right now in my life I need warm so it works for me. On the other hand, my last T was warm but volatile and it ended in termination, so I think finding the right T is almost hit and miss.

In terms of directiveness, I would say that I will bring up the topic for conversation and then sometimes she will take that and run with it, uncovering different insights and trying to encourage me to be able to present with her at a feeling level. This is something I haven't been able to do easily so I've found it to be good. It feels like what I need.

My T isn't just a psychoanalytically oriented T, she had the extra training and so she went to a psychoanalytic institute after she completed her degree in counseling. On those psychoanalytic websites that tout that field, they all say that they are more highly trained than the usual therapist. This seems reassuring, so we'll see if the proof will be in the pudding, as they say.

The downside of going so often is obviously the amount of time committment and the cost. So I'm not sure I will continue it forever. A lot of "hardcore" psychoanalysts apparently think you should meet 4-5 times a week.


Once I become a CEO of a large start up company and rake in the money from stock options--I'll be sure to start that. (ha ha)

hi elly,

i'm glad your T is 'warm' and her being part of the 'object relations' school is great! it sounds like you have picked the best of psychoanalysis but like you say, its all about how you and your T fit.

yeah, i try not to think about the money too much. i think of it as an investment which will pay off.

puppet