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I had an emotional meltdown in class today. Confused We are studying graphing conic sections on a polar axis. It's mostly new to me and I require a lot of processing time to think it through. My math professor just kept peppering the students with questions and getting mad because either we were giving the wrong answers, or else no one would be willing to say anything at all. He just kept berating us, saying things like, "It's not rocket science, folks!" and "Time to wake up & stop daydreaming about your lovers!" and "It's not hard! Hello, is anyone listening?" and "Did you all send mindless clones to class today for April Fools?" Just generally being very condescending. So what, right? Why let it get to me? I thought I could brush this stuff off by now. But suddenly I was 7-8 years old again, transported back to early elementary school and crying because of my stupid overly sensitive, immature feelings in response to the teacher's yelling and criticism. I am 37 years old, and except for the teacher, I am by far the oldest person in the room. None of the 18to21-year-olds were crying. It was just me with the thin skin. But the tears just kept rolling down my cheeks, and I kept trying to hide my face from the teacher (I sit front and center). Then it got bad enough that snot started running, so I finally dug around in my bag and found a tissue. When the bell finally rang, I ran for a stall in the ladies room to finish my cry. Frowner

So to make me feel better, I want to invite you to tell any immature public meltdowns you may have had, so I won't feel alone in this kind of experience. Oh, and since I have such thin skin, if no one replies after a few hours, I'll just assume I am indeed a unique freak and I'll delete the thread. Eeker Razzer
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((((MH)))))

I have so been there before. Not fun at all. I've also been a blubbering mess in front of my boss, which again, was not fun at all. It was a really bad time, as I was up for review, and was getting called on stuff that wasn't true, and I reacted to it with real maturity. Not. Roll Eyes
(In other words, you are so not alone here!)

I applaud you for not texting your T and instead coming to the forum. Way to start moving beyond that cycle! We're here for you!
I usually tend to completely dissociate in these cases, but after the incident I went through last year with H's problem, there were several weeks in a row that just going into church and hearing anything in the songs about God loving me, Him taking care of me, any of those statements that were seeming so impossible considering what He had "allowed" to happen to me, I would start bawling. Luckily, with music going and everyone singing, people either ignored me or didn't notice at all.
(((((MH))))) Oh please don't delete. Been thinking about you, wondering how you are doing. Sorry to hear your prof was such a wanker. FWIW I react VERY much the same to being berated like that. Would you believe I went into the Army right after high school? Can you imagine what Basic Training was like? I cried for the first five WEEKS, from being yelled at all the time. And I couldn't always hide it. So I totally understand.

(BTW I think maybe your prof needs to look into a new profession...that's really not the best way to get people to learn, y'know?)

Hugs to you,
SG
Thanks for sharing and being here 4 me, R2G, Yaku, SG. Smiler

R2G, come to think of it, I've had my share of meltdowns at work too. I just forgot about them because its been awhile since I've regularly worked full-time.

Yaku, I've cried at church before. I've seen others do it too. (I should have cried last week for the way my 2-yr-old embarrassed me with his tantrum, lol.) But I think people are judged less for crying at church. Its a setting where it might be assumed the person is mourning, or reaching out to God, or simply having a spiritual experience. So it doesn't surprise me if no one paid any attention to you for it. But what I think you are saying is that the reason behind your crying was not about a spiritual experience but sorta the other way around. The questioning, the not understanding, the bitterness, etc.? Yeah, I get that.

SG, I never ever would have survived Basic Training if it is at all like they show it in movies. I am amazed at anyone who gets through it. I think you'd have to dissociate. I know we need military personnel, but I personally think the training for it is not mentally healthy.
More along the lines of what you are saying, MH, I used to cry uncontrollably whenever my mom's verbal abuse got very bad. H can make me cry in that same way. I have wanted to cry with teachers, bosses, etc., which I have been lucky enough to never piss off one-on-one enough to have them go off on me, but I am usually able to keep it to turning bright red and then dissociate until I am alone and break down into a mess of tears. So, I can relate to what you feel for sure.
Let's see. When I got really sick in January I had a total meltdown in front of my GP. I go to a large practice and had only seen her once before and she doesn't know me that well. She was very kind but got visibly upset and started asking me suicide assessment questions (training came in handy.) She calmed down when she asked me the last time I had cried and I told her the day before. Big Grin

We built the house we live in now and I actually broke down into tears from stress in front of the very lovely woman I was ordering counters and sinks from. Big Grin

I once went on a woman's retreat once and got up to share about something the speaker said and started crying so hard I couldn't stop. As Yaku pointed out, it was a little more acceptable in those circumstances and everyone was very kind, despite my embarrrassment.

I've cried in front of my dentist, my endontics specialist, and most of the hospital staff where I delivered my children (I'm lots of fun post partum.)

I literally have lost track of how many receptionists at how many medical practices I've teared up in front of.

Please trust me that I am only brushing the surface here. MH when you carry deep wounding, then that kind of harsh treatment (which is TOTALLY uncalled for btw, I think Wanker was a perfect way to describe it SG!!) is going to trigger deep feelings, that really are overwhelming.

(((((MH)))))))
(((MH))))

This is not an immature public meltdown or anything to be ashamed of. The only person who should be ashamed for their behavior is your professor.

While he may deem the subject content "Not rocket science", clearly he is doing a piss-poor job of teaching. If it is so easy, it is a reflection of his inability to teach that you are having difficulty with it.

Now give me his email address so I can deal with this. Wink
MH,

I'm sorry that your professor was so unprofessional and rude. That is uncalled for and I think you had every reason to be rattled by that behavior. Not an inappropriate reaction at all.

I know that I've fallen apart in public before at times that I would have rather not. Given everything you are going through and how mean he was, I think you handled it really well!
AG, thanks for coming to my rescue! Cuz if AG can do it, then so can I! I think medical issues can understandably be a big trigger. I mean, first you aren't feeling well physically, then there is anxiety about tests, diagnoses, and procedures. On top of that, sometimes health care providers are arrogant and insensitive. Then there is the financial stress associated with bills, and stress over taking time off work. And anything that has to do with pregnancy, childbirth, or recovery is totally exempt due to all the hormones!

LG & STRM & AG, I am glad you are in agreement that my professor was behaving unprofessionally. I think he must not be secure with himself either or else he wouldn't feel threatened by our ignorance. But he must have some threshold of student performance that proves to himself he is being a successful teacher, that we were not meeting. He is old, past retirement, really. Old people get ornery sometimes. He's not this bad every day, so I'm going to let it go. I don't want to put him in his grave.

DF, you had me smiling ruefully about those blasted automated answering systems. I have so DONE that before, the pushing every single button and yelling "Operator" into the phone, and then not being very nice to the person who is unfortunate to get my call. If you don't mind my asking, what is your job? Maybe you've told us before but I don't remember.

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