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AAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!
*hyperventilating*...*seeing red*...must.get.under.control
will try to write something more coherent later...I'm spittin' mad at your T right now...
Something to think about: You just turned a huge corner in your recovery from what happened with your ex-P, you had a tremendous growth spurt...maybe what just happened is a sign you've outgrown your T?
GRRRRR...I HATE it that your T said this to your new P. What a betrayal.
I'm so sorry, Summer.
SG
*hyperventilating*...*seeing red*...must.get.under.control
will try to write something more coherent later...I'm spittin' mad at your T right now...
Something to think about: You just turned a huge corner in your recovery from what happened with your ex-P, you had a tremendous growth spurt...maybe what just happened is a sign you've outgrown your T?
GRRRRR...I HATE it that your T said this to your new P. What a betrayal.
I'm so sorry, Summer.
SG
quote:I just looked at her and she said well - maybe that wasn't a good example.
Duh...Ya THINK?
still sputtering...must calm down...so triggered right now...I don't know whether to cry, laugh my butt off, or scream.
You deserve better, Summer. and I'm glad you seem to know that.
I'll try to calm down and write more later. I'm not rational right now at all. sorry if I'm offending anyone.
SG
I'm speechless. Utterly speechless. Although, I'll take what SG said.
Summer you did NOT deserve this. I have seen such incredible growth in you and you have faced a devastating loss straight on and with so much courage and fortitude. Yet, your T, who you've opened up to, can't see it. What an idiot! (Trust me that's the mildest thing I want to call her!)
When my first T retired, she gave me four months notice and we spent the time processing our ending and dealing with saying goodbye and I still think it took me a whole year to deal with it. It's a death in many ways. Because she was retiring I was never going to see her or speak to her again. And I didn't have nearly as intense a transference reaction with her. You got the rug yanked out from under you with NO sessions to process the ending and she thinks you should be over it already? That you're being obsessive. What the hell are they teaching these people?
And if all that wasn't egregious enough, how DARE she lie to you? If she thought you were being obsessive at a minimum she shouldn't have been telling you that you were doing well and frankly, she should have found a gentle way to confront you with it. To tell you the opposite and turn around and say that to your P violates your trust. Don't get me wrong, I think she's totally wrong, but if that's what she believed, she was totally incompetent in handling the situation. Wow, I really want to scream at this woman. Or smack her. Preferably both.
You have every right to be furious and I can certainly understand you quitting. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this on top of everything else.
OK, I guess I wasn't COMPLETELY speechless.
Please come as often as you need to and talk about it here Summer. You know we understand.
AG
Summer you did NOT deserve this. I have seen such incredible growth in you and you have faced a devastating loss straight on and with so much courage and fortitude. Yet, your T, who you've opened up to, can't see it. What an idiot! (Trust me that's the mildest thing I want to call her!)
When my first T retired, she gave me four months notice and we spent the time processing our ending and dealing with saying goodbye and I still think it took me a whole year to deal with it. It's a death in many ways. Because she was retiring I was never going to see her or speak to her again. And I didn't have nearly as intense a transference reaction with her. You got the rug yanked out from under you with NO sessions to process the ending and she thinks you should be over it already? That you're being obsessive. What the hell are they teaching these people?
And if all that wasn't egregious enough, how DARE she lie to you? If she thought you were being obsessive at a minimum she shouldn't have been telling you that you were doing well and frankly, she should have found a gentle way to confront you with it. To tell you the opposite and turn around and say that to your P violates your trust. Don't get me wrong, I think she's totally wrong, but if that's what she believed, she was totally incompetent in handling the situation. Wow, I really want to scream at this woman. Or smack her. Preferably both.
You have every right to be furious and I can certainly understand you quitting. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this on top of everything else.
OK, I guess I wasn't COMPLETELY speechless.
Please come as often as you need to and talk about it here Summer. You know we understand.
AG
quote:There's nothing worse in therapy than having your feelings and/or views dismissed!
Summer, I totally agree with your above statement. I am new here and don't know all about your story, but I just wanted to briefly say how bad I feel for you based on what you have shared in this thread. Some people on this forum are having really bad T. experiences and it is kind of scary figuring out how to have hope and trust in the whole process.
Hi Summer
Sounds like you are really pissed off and dissapointed with your T. That would be the two of them that disappointed you by now... It's hard to give a credit to them if it happens again.
I do feel that I benefit a lot from my therapy (although I expect it can get really hard), but I think it is possible that I may at some stage feel so let down by My T that I will want to leave (no matter that feel that he is really good at the moment).
Well, she made a mistake. I don't quite understand where is there a problem with you, cause I would also think of my T constantly, someone could call it obsessive. Is that not understandable?
Maybe that accident (if it can be called so) could be a part of building the relationship between you and her (if you still can go back there).
I think I agree with you that therapy leads to more problems. Kind of
I feel that my relationship with my boyfriend is falling apart. It could be my fault, I don't know. I definitely love my T more then my partner.
Sounds like you are really pissed off and dissapointed with your T. That would be the two of them that disappointed you by now... It's hard to give a credit to them if it happens again.
I do feel that I benefit a lot from my therapy (although I expect it can get really hard), but I think it is possible that I may at some stage feel so let down by My T that I will want to leave (no matter that feel that he is really good at the moment).
Well, she made a mistake. I don't quite understand where is there a problem with you, cause I would also think of my T constantly, someone could call it obsessive. Is that not understandable?
Maybe that accident (if it can be called so) could be a part of building the relationship between you and her (if you still can go back there).
I think I agree with you that therapy leads to more problems. Kind of
I feel that my relationship with my boyfriend is falling apart. It could be my fault, I don't know. I definitely love my T more then my partner.
Hi Summer.
Sorry I haven't gotten to this earlier, I have been reading and thinking about you but been a bit caught up in everything else.
I can understand your frustration and anger. Your T should be supporting you, not dismissing you. It's fine to question the motivation for your feelings but in a constructive manner. Saying "it's your problem" so to speak doesn't cut it. You've had such a hard time with the abrupt ending of your old T and now you have to deal with this! I know I've said it time and time again but reading the experiences shared on here makes me feel so so lucky to have found my ex-T when I did. Granted there was a slightly abrupt ending but he met me again, he apologized for not seeing certain things even though I didn't need an apology. The boundries were so so tight, it was the safest place on earth despite my anxiety over whether I could trust him or not. And after finding a new T I realise that it's really hard to find a T to meet YOUR needs. My new T is lovely, kind and encourages me to speak about my feelings for my ex-T, tries to get me to validate them. However, it's still different. Maybe it's me idolising my ex-T but I seriously think we were a perfect fit in terms of a T-patient relationship. I really miss it
After what's happened I do think you should move on from your current T. However, you must be unsure as to what to do now.I'm sure there's lots of hurt and sadness in you following the abrupt termination of your last T and I guess I would find it hard to just struggle on on my own with it. It seems like such an ordeal going on your past experiences but maybe you could find the "perfect fit", elusive as that seems. I'm glad you know that you're not being unreasonable and that you deserve better.
Keep us posted on how it all goes.
Take care
Mrs. P
Sorry I haven't gotten to this earlier, I have been reading and thinking about you but been a bit caught up in everything else.
I can understand your frustration and anger. Your T should be supporting you, not dismissing you. It's fine to question the motivation for your feelings but in a constructive manner. Saying "it's your problem" so to speak doesn't cut it. You've had such a hard time with the abrupt ending of your old T and now you have to deal with this! I know I've said it time and time again but reading the experiences shared on here makes me feel so so lucky to have found my ex-T when I did. Granted there was a slightly abrupt ending but he met me again, he apologized for not seeing certain things even though I didn't need an apology. The boundries were so so tight, it was the safest place on earth despite my anxiety over whether I could trust him or not. And after finding a new T I realise that it's really hard to find a T to meet YOUR needs. My new T is lovely, kind and encourages me to speak about my feelings for my ex-T, tries to get me to validate them. However, it's still different. Maybe it's me idolising my ex-T but I seriously think we were a perfect fit in terms of a T-patient relationship. I really miss it
After what's happened I do think you should move on from your current T. However, you must be unsure as to what to do now.I'm sure there's lots of hurt and sadness in you following the abrupt termination of your last T and I guess I would find it hard to just struggle on on my own with it. It seems like such an ordeal going on your past experiences but maybe you could find the "perfect fit", elusive as that seems. I'm glad you know that you're not being unreasonable and that you deserve better.
Keep us posted on how it all goes.
Take care
Mrs. P
Hi Summer,
Couldn't have said it better myself. This forum is full of people who are so insightful and the help given to people who are struggling with their therapy is so valuable.
What a fantastic way to think about this experience. I keep telling myself that to go back to my exT would be such a waste of energy, emotion and money. I have spent thousands too and it has been more damaging than therapeutic.
Thanks Summer.
quote:I appreciate all of the support and insight I've received on this forum. I've learned a great deal by sharing my experience with others - may have actually been more beneficial than therapy itself.
Couldn't have said it better myself. This forum is full of people who are so insightful and the help given to people who are struggling with their therapy is so valuable.
quote:I'm glad this experience happened the way it did because I now have a better understanding of what my new T thinks about me and I realize she doesn't understand me. I could have spent more time AND money going to therapy with her, but it wouldn't have been very beneficial
What a fantastic way to think about this experience. I keep telling myself that to go back to my exT would be such a waste of energy, emotion and money. I have spent thousands too and it has been more damaging than therapeutic.
Thanks Summer.