Because they don't know.

If a client only had depression or 1 phobia and went to the T and said I have this 1 thing wrong with me how long will it take - well the T might say that research says that depression symptoms are helped within 10 - 20 sessions of CBT and 1 off phobias are corrected with 10 CBT sessions (I am making these up) - but TAS, how nice would that be for us to go and ask for this. like going to a store and ordering something.

When we don't know what is wrong with us it is hard to tell a T and give them a clear idea of what they are dealing with.

Also with my Therapy - it is relational therapy, I will be with her for years and during that time the relationship I have with her will trigger me, heal me, hurt me, upset me, make me happy etc etc - all of those things part of my healing journey.

No one knows.
Somedays.

Hi TAS
When I first started my current therapy I asked that very question of T. Her answer was basically along the lines of everyone I see is different and has different work to do. I never thought I would still be in therapy nearly 3 years on for example. My T does do long term work and short term work too,(she is an attachment based psychotherapist..so relational therapy) all she has ever told me is she works on average with people from 3-5 years but has done longer than that
I guess she was saying it depends on the individual person seeing her as to how long they will be with her
Pingles

(((TAS)))
My T did kind of answer that question. She told me she would continue to see for as long as I needed to or wanted to; that they were MY sessions and I control the frequency and duration of them. I have always had weekly sessions but if I needed extra support I could go more often; or I can switch to fortnightly; or monthly; or even on an 'ad hoc' basis in the future just to touch base or if anything specific were to crop up. I'm happy with the arrangement as I don't feel I'm lagging behind with my healing or that there is a definitive cut-off point to face.
Perhaps I'm just very lucky with my T; IDK.

Thank you SomeDays, Pingles and Avoidant I know that the Therapist I see does do short term and long term therapy. It is nice to know what kind of therapy the Therapist is implementing.

Thanks for the hugs Avoidant

I asked when I first went to therapy and I could generally understand his answer that he didn't know...as I was just getting started.

I asked the same question yesterday, after a year and eight months and he said, "I can't tell you how long..." I want to say to him, "Is it that you know this is going to take a long time and if you tell me that...you know I will split?"

I don't know if he being evasive on purpose or if truly is his conclusion at this point.

My T said the same as AV T's. it's my therapy and I have control of when I want to stop...saying that I've seeing her 7years now and I know I still have a lot more work to do

Luc

Long-term Clients

Lucina! So nice to 'see' you It is definitely "work"

AG: Thank you I will read the article.

But first, I think I want to go hide under the covers.

T.

I've asked my T that a few times. She always says she doesn't know, it depends on how much I want to do. I've suspected lately that they are evasive on these points because they don't want to tell people from the outset that real insight and change can take years. But maybe it truly is an impossible question to answer. If someone is already on the cusp of personal transformation, perhaps just a little push from a T and a few months of sessions can take them the rest of the way there. How would a T know that starting out?

I don't know if my T is surprised that I'm still around. I asked her a few weeks ago if my so called traumas were bad enough to justify all the time and work I've put into healing, if it made sense to her that it is taking this long. She emphatically said yes. That made me feel better. I worry sometimes that she thinks I'm there just because I like hearing myself talk.

It is a good article. I've read it several times before now and never been sure which one I was! I've wanted to ask T but I send her enough stuff to read as it is. Anyway, I'm pretty sure I'm this one, with the relevant qualifiers bolded.

quote:

The Next Developmental Step Client: She's at the cusp of differentiating from her family of origin/partner/workplace and finding out how to be herself. If she's reasonably well attached and reasonably untraumatized, she'll be around from three to eight months. If more traumatized or with an abusive or alcoholic or otherly dysfunctional family and/or attachment issues, you might be seeing her from months to a few years.

I think I am going to be in therapy f o r e v e r.

Me too TAS.

My T says "as long as it takes" as "long as you need therapy" - she used to say "want" - but I kept telling her to F off and I didn't want her nor therapy anymore, so she changed it to "need". "we are in this together".

When I first went to her I said a year. I though that is what Long Term meant.

After nearly 2 years - we have never even spoken about my past - it is always just the week to week dramas that I have. There is so much of it - that I now go twice a week plus have daily contact and we still never get to all the issues from a week.

Rather than look at it as "being in therapy" - I consider her a life companion in a way, someone professional to share my issues in my life for the long term. Her and I have even mentioned "in 10 years' time". So I have taken the pressure off me to be FIXED by a certain time and we are what we are.

SD

SomeDays I wish I could see it as positively as you. I know it's not the Therapists doing...but I still am pissed off over the the fact I have to go...

Thank you
T.