I think they like me despite all the crap I know they put up with from me at times. So, sorta both!

Sometimes when I feel extra vulnerable I just assume they are super good at their jobs and I'm a terrible person.

And some days, it's something else.

I don't think it matters whether the therapist likes a client or not. I think it may be better if they do not. I am not sure a client has to like the therapist either.

different day, different answer. generally, i think he puts up with me. sometimes i wish i knew he liked me, but if he ever told me he liked me i probably wouldn't believe him, anyway.

On my good days, when I am not distorting reality, I know he genuinely likes me. But there are lots of days with distortion when I do not believe he does but sticks with me because he is an ethical therapist. But my husband assures me that he likes me (we also see him together) and I am certain that he likes my husband which I can see because my own feelings aren't getting in the way.

ASK!

They are no different than us in many ways. They have chosen to help us because they know we are good people. They know whats there beyond our pain ie, THEM!

Ask yourself:

Do you have
Integrity
Empathy
Insight
Wit
Compassion

Do they?

I trust my T is honest.

He has said he loves me (spiritual, God-enabled type of love). When that has freaked me out and I wondered if there was any normal, human-level like for me as a person, he has said that he does.

He has expressed enjoying me as a person, being blessed to know me, etc.

His interactions seem to reflect the statements he has made.

I really DO believe him.

Yet, sometimes, I still find a way to fear it's not true, or I have tricked him or made him do something bad if he really does feel that way...

I think it's genuine. He couldn't have put up with my crap and been there for me if he didn't genuinely like me and care about me. Though there are days of course I feel like he hates me and wants to get rid of me but can't because its not ethical.

She says she likes me. I don't believe it at all, even though it's something I'd like.
But I trust she's an ethical T, and that's enough. And actually, it is faaar less scary. I mean, people who like you, they can stop liking you, abandon you if you're not good enough, while if they are being ethical... you don't have to deserve their liking. And since I don't think anyone on earth can like me, it feels much safer.

My T has told me that she likes me and she likes working with me.
She knows I doubt it in between sessions, but says I should just remember her words and believe her!

I think if a T doesn't "feel" something for you then he can't work with you. There has to be some connection.

I agree with all of this...I hope the Therapist likes me but at this point...even if he did I wouldn't believe it.

Today I'm pretty sure my T doesn't like me, and never has.

I don't even care anymore. And that makes me sadder than anything that happened to me as a kid.

Different days different answer for me. She has stuck with me for forever so I hope that means something. Hopefully it's not that she is a masochist.

RabbitEars, your answer made me sad. I am sorry.

TAS, I only know you on this forum and you are really hard not to like. You are freaking tenacious, which I love. Therapy is super hard for you but you persist and persist and persist. You will get where you need to go. You continue to persevere. Believe me, he notices. How can he not like that?

Blu Thank you...I know exactly how you feel.

Rabbit Ears...so sorry.

Becca...you are very kind. This has been very difficult and although it's not true...I feel this is worse than anything I endured in childhood...It has been excruciating.

I am continuing to try and persevere but I feel as if I am being worn down...and I am not sure if it is my defenses being worn down...or if I am being worn down...

I feel as if I am down for the count...and I am trying to fight...but can't seem to get back up...

Thank you for the encouragement Becca...means a lot.

quote:

Originally posted by TAS:


Becca...you are very kind. This has been very difficult and although it's not true...I feel this is worse than anything I endured in childhood...It has been excruciating.

I am continuing to try and persevere but I feel as if I am being worn down...and I am not sure if it is my defenses being worn down...or if I am being worn down...

I feel as if I am down for the count...and I am trying to fight...but can't seem to get back up...

Thank you for the encouragement Becca...means a lot.

Thank you, Becca and TAS. I am now able to cry which I can never do in session. Thank you for noticing my post and responding. (((Becca))) (((TAS)))

Rabbit Ears