Hi Heather,
As for who should be looking that's a tough one. If your T is strongly urging you to do DBT, I would expect them to at least have some information available for you on groups in your area. However, he might also be giving you this opportunity to see if you are able to take the steps on your own. Years ago, before everything including the kitchen sink was available online, my previous T asked me to get a workbook, I can't remember exactly what it was called, but it was clearly about childhood abuse. I went into the bookshop and had to ask them to order it for me *embarassing* But i did it. He was almost surprised I did, he wasn't sure I'd be able to. So maybe that's the kind of situation you're in. Maybe you can bite the bullet and make some calls. Can i ask what it is about the phone that scares you? These days if you can get a phone number for someone, hopefully you'd be able to get an email address so maybe that's an option too. Or you can do the research, get the numbers, and maybe your T can call on your behalf during a session? I don't know about where you are located, but here DBT groups are generally run through hospitals i think the outpatient part. So maybe you could contact a few local hospitals to find out? Otherwise I'd try your local mental health organisation or something like that.

Hope some of this is helpful for you

LTF

I think he wants me to at least do some of the looking because he wants me to find something that will work for me and to show some commitment to whatever I end up with. After I expressed how difficult it is for me to do the looking and make the phone calls, he offered to help as long as I kept at it as well. Naturally, the nature of therapists never receiving a phone call at the time it's made it somewhat more difficult for him. (I called him once and he answered and I almost hung up on him I was so surprised.)

I have tried the e-mail route. Inevitably what happens is that the person gives me a phone number and tells me to call them :|

I'm not entirely sure what it is about making phone calls that is so overwhelmingly scary. It used to be the case that getting up out of my cube and going to talk to ... anyone ... was just as scary, but I've been able to overcome that. I think its because I'm afraid I'll loose what it is I need to ask from my head, because I'm afraid I won't be able to understand the person on the other end of the phone, because I can't be quiet with someone on the phone. That is, I can't nod and expect them to see it. I have to worry about who might be in earshot of me. Most of my calls I have to make from work (that's when people are available to talk), I can go outside with my cell, but still.

Hi Heather, nice to meet you. I'm sorry to hear that you're not getting much help from your T. It's been my experience that therapists find these folks for you. I certainly do that legwork for mine. It's expected because we know the field better than our clients and part of our job is networking with other therapists. In my neck of the woods, therapists use a mailing list to put out to other therapists when they're looking for a referral for someone.

I remember looking back when I was 20 something. It was awful. I had no idea how to go about finding a therapist and I'd get so worked up to make the call. I really resonate how this must be for you.

I guess it might be hard for you to challenge your therapist about this nevertheless, I hope you find a group therapist who's a little more helpful.

I'm also shocked that therapists aren't very communicative over email. Chances are these therapists might not appreciate the importance of a therapeutic connection anyway. That's a red flag to me.

Here's a group site you might find helpful: Find Group Therapy

If you haven't already seen it, I'm hosting a free webinar in late August on choosing a therapist. I'm calling it the The Definitive Guide to Choosing a Therapist Webinar I hope you can attend.

Take care,
Shrinklady

Thank you for the info Shrinklady I don't feel so bad about having trouble with this search now.

Unfortunately, the site you list is pretty much for the wrong side of the continent I will definitely be attending your webinar!

Thanks again,