My wall is extremely high, he is taking the bricks down one by one. A slow process but it is happening.

((((CD))))

It's my opinion that therapists should be a helluva lot more open about a lot of things at the beginning of therapy. IMO, the first few visits should be more like when you visit a medical doctor in terms of being upfront about the types of things people work on and what it might involve. If you want this kind of life, you need to work on x, y and z and this is the kind of approach I take, kind of thing. Just my opinion. I don't like being in the dark.

I'm inclined to agree with what Cat posted; especially these points:-

quote:

1. defenses are there for a reason; whether you choose to lower them is your choice

2. We are often not aware of our defenses or why we have them. They often date from childhood and really aren't needed any more. We are not in the vulnerable positions we were then. Part of a T's job is to make us aware of them and of how they could be impacting on our lives

I'm sure that's absolutely right. My T hasn't used the word 'defences'; I think she's mentioned my 'resistance' to things a few times and I guess that's my defences coming into play in sessions.

((((CD)))))

What's going on? Everything okay?

(((Cat)))

quote:

i guess if i'd have known that i was "supposed" to lower my defenses, or even been clued into what my defenses are so that i could lower them, maybe therapy could have been more effective?

I kind of agree with you here. Maybe you wouldn't have been as scared or felt as out of control. I'm just assuming here what you were feeling but whatever it was, maybe it would have helped to know it was normal.

Whenever I read the trauma literature, they often talk about how psychoeducation is a very important part of phase 1 but I very rarely hear anyone talk about that kind of stuff here. It seems as though all of us are self-educated. I would have quit therapy myself if I hadn't found this website. I can't understand why being/feeling so isolated/dependent upon one person in such a way as to be disempowering could actually be seen as a good thing. Just my opinion. I'm kind of opinionated lately, huh?

So, now I'm going to be really opinionated. Personally, I don't like it when T's tell clients they are being resistant. Clients are just being themselves. It's the therapists job to get around the resistance. The notion of resistance is becoming an outdated one. However, I don't think it's a bad idea to talk to a client about the defenses they use. That, to me, is more about education than about blaming.

Hey guys just wanted to jump in on the resistance aspect. I have found personally and professionally that defences and resistance emerge for good reasons - to keep us safe from feelings and memories that are intense and very difficult to bear. In my opinion the best way to manage it is to a) respect it and b) figure out why it's there and then work out how to make it ok to lower those resistances or defences ie provide enough containment, understanding, empathy and safety in the room.
Sorry if this is a bit soapboxy xx

if i can muster the courage, i may just schedule a session.

((((CD)))))

Let us know if you do.

(((CD)))

Got this from a Kathy Steele article in the journal of dissociation:

quote:

Within a skills-building approach, the first interventions are of a psychoeducational nature. Basic information should be shared about therapy, treatment process, parameters of therapeutic boundaries, treat- ment goals, the patient’s symptoms and disorders, informed consent, and collaboration and cooperation between therapist and patient, among others. In other words, the therapeutic process should not remain myste- rious or unexplained to the patient, so that s/he may be an active partici- pant with encouraged collaboration with the therapist. Such information will also be of relational value, as the patient begins to experience the therapist as someone who offers helpful information rather than as a withholding authority figure.

Liese, that's awesome. thanks for sharing that. i may use that if you don't mind, but at this point i'm not sure what i'm going to do. just thinking about going back is triggering and i just hate it. i wish therapy were easy. i'll keep you posted whatever i decide to do.

my T is psychoanalytical and i feel like she focuses on the bringing down of defences, i remember i definetely felt that in the beginning - and it actually made me more resistant. maybe if she is doing it well, i'm not supposed to notice so much?...
sometimes i feel she really pushes my buttons and that it doesn't help, i get more resistant.

in my view, i dont feel that as 'my' goal, maybe its because i'm still trying to trust her. i see it more as something that happens along the way (slowly).

i read a book a while back which had a very interesting take on resistance which i loved, it wasn't about pushing through the defences, it was about accepting. i posted a link with excerpts from that book, here it is if you're interested.
http://psychcafe.ca/eve/forums...09181/m/263005807001

puppet