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8 replies

rage after therapy sessions

D darockMember
hello. ive experienced this before and im experiencing it again.
can anyone relate to making connection w. their T, having it go fine, you connect, you feel heard, you feel understood...and then a short while later, you experience some kind of backlash, like a surge of rage over having let someone in or having gotten close to someone?

just wondering if anyone can relate to this experience. i have had it before but never paid any attention to it. today i saw it unfold in the moment and was able to relate it to a connection w my T (or my potential T, depending upon how this search goes).
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D darockMember
i think its true that its a shame reaction. i just wonder if it would be less w. a different therapist. its so hard to determine if the shame reaction is being influenced by behaviors of the T. i say this because ive been in treatment where the shame reaction did not happen as much because i completely trusted my therapist.
True NorthTrue NorthCo-moderator
DaRock.... I don't think you have a strong enough relationship yet with this T. It takes a long time to establish trust and safety with the T before you begin to process the shame/abuse/trauma that you need to. I'm guessing you probably didn't experience this to the same level with your last T because you had a longer-term, more trusting relationship with that T before delving into these issues that are triggering shame.

I would say that you need to slow down a bit with the abreactive work and focus more on the relationship for now. That usually helps.

TN
D darockMember
yeah. ill try that true north. i fear though, that she will not come close to being as diligent, focused and effective as my previous T.
she laughed at an extreme comment i made today and i told her that it bothered her and she said she appreciates why but isnt sure why she laughed.
arent T's supposed to be in touch enough with themselves to know why they are laughing at their clients? that really pisses me off.

for full disclosure i myself am T in training and if i laugh at something someone says and they point it out to me, i always know why im laughing.

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