(((( R2G ))))

Read your post earlier and wasn't sure at all what to say, as I have no idea and don't have the experience of having a T be there for me to then feel like I'm being too needy and clingy so can't draw on my own experience to comment. I suspect I would feel too clingy/needy/demanding ALL the time and would fear T leaving no matter what she said .

However, having read what Draggers wrote (that's twice now I've followed Draggers and thought, what a wonderfully insightful post ) - I think what she says makes a huge amount of sense. That it's possibly more to do with flying the nest and getting a bit freaked and needing to touch base again to make sure T is still there, needing the reassurance that if you do get more independent she won't dust off her hands and go oh good I can get rid of R2G now.

Of course, this may not be what's going on at all, I suppose. I just liked it as an explanation What are your own thoughts on this? I know you said you had no idea, but maybe if you really dig around hard enough you'll come up with an image or a memory or a fleeting thought that will tell you what's going on in you.

In any event, it's good to know your T is so solid and hopefully these fears will dissipate quickly.

Hugs to you R2G

LL

Hey R2G..

I agree with what Draggers and LL have said - that maybe you're testing that she's still there. It seems like it's just going to be one of those things that takes time to learn. It's going to take time to learn that T will still be there. No matter what our Ts tell us...a lot of the time, we have to just wait and experience it for ourselves. So, in this case, no matter how much your T verbally reassures you that she's still there, you won't start to completely believe her until you've experienced it over and over and over again for yourself.

For what it's worth, I'm in the same place.

I am another one who agrees with everyone else with this one.

I cycle through this regularly. And i will continue to do so until I can FEEL it within me entirely rather than hearing the words that my T says to me and experiencing it. My T says the same things each time and I can say to her 'yeah, yeah I know the words you are going to say' but I have to KNOW it and FEEL it. And i think the difference is that i need to experience it on a cellular level - so that it is imprinted inside me.

That is how I think of it.

Same with the multitude of things I / we feel. I thought I had had trusted her, feel finally safe about being terminated - because she has told me a million times, proven to me that she won't term me - but one wonky session, she might be a bit tired, a bit off and I am needing a lot of her that week and feel like I am a burden - and I will be convinced that I will be termed.

It comes back to haunt me.

Thanks for all the replies everyone. Helped a lot to read them today (and re-read.)

(((Draggers))) I have heard and used the toddler analogy before. I do like it, and it makes sense to me. I had hoped I'd be out of the toddler stage by now! I hear you on the idea of T telling us over and over... My T has said that many times, and it sticks for the most part, just times like this that throw me off!

(((LL))) - I do feel pretty steady most of the time lately. I was very clingy/needy the first year+ with T. I also think that I did freak out about flying a bit further, and am wanting to sit back at home for a while now. I'm hoping that digging a bit with T will come to an explanation of why this is resurfacing now. There has to be a reason, right?!

(((Kashley))) - thanks for the comment. I guess that I may be going back into testing zone, I just can't figure out why! I've tested T many times, and she always passes with flying colors. I don't expect this to be any different, so I kinda am frustrated that I am even testing again! I don't like that you're in the same place, but am glad to know that I'm not alone!

(((Liese))) Thanks for the confirmation!

(((SD))) - I wish I had a wonky session to blame this on! I don't though I want to get to that place you talked about - where it is imprinted on my brain so I don't need to question/test T anymore!

Impatiently waiting to see how this plays out.... will keep you posted!

Hi everyone,

I bit the bullet with T last session, and actually brought up what I wrote here. T had some great insights and helped me recognize why these feelings have sprung back to the surface.

It seems that the amount of energy it's taking to keep me in a good space health wise has been wearing on me more than I thought. I have been spending so much effort on following my meal plan and keeping up with my goals, that there is little energy left for the day to day tasks. I get overly stretched and tired, I get clingy and needy. I get clingy and needy, I worry that T will leave. I worry that T will leave, I stress even more.

It's a rather vicious cycle. But I'm so glad T recognized that, as while I can't necessarily do anything about it, the awareness that that is what is happening was helpful.

Trudging along... hope you are all hanging in there!

((((R2G))))

What a great conversation. It's great that you were able to address it with your T and even better that she was able to give you some insight into what is going on for you. Did it reassure you that you weren't going to push her away by being clingy and needy?

(((((((( R2G ))))))) Glad you managed to talk to T about this and feel a bit more accepting of where you're at. Even if it sucks .

LL