What is a realistic expectation for how long one should be in therapy?
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Great question TAS but I don't think there can possibly be one answer. I was in therapy for 5 years 20 years ago. As my life changed, I needed to work on different things with my T then. I went from horribly depressed and alone to married, through fertility treatments, and finally having my first child. I left therapy at that point because I was managing well on my own and we were moving away.
I know that this time I won't leave therapy until after my mom passes. I need the support if nothing else to get through these last few years of her Alzheimer's. (she has been ill for 8 years already).
It all depends on how motivated you are to make changes in your life, and what you want to get out of therapy.
Jillann
I know that this time I won't leave therapy until after my mom passes. I need the support if nothing else to get through these last few years of her Alzheimer's. (she has been ill for 8 years already).
It all depends on how motivated you are to make changes in your life, and what you want to get out of therapy.
Jillann
TAS, how long is a piece of string? It's impossible to know and varies from person to person
If my experience is any clue, you'll spend an extra month in therapy for every time you ask that question 
quote:If my experience is any clue, you'll spend an extra month in therapy for every time you ask that question
Holy ----, I'm screwed!!!
It is individual. I've asked my Ts a lot, it's when I reach my goals I guess - especially to titrate off of medication (my P and T think this is possible eventually - after I've done the trauma work, right now it is to keep me as safe as possible through stuff). There are times I think I could function without therapy it just would not be at my preferred level. A lot of times I think it's just helpful to get through life needing that safe space and relationship, I think if anything it's the stability that will keep me in the longest time. There are several relational issues Id like to work on.
I'm not sure I that is helpful but... I think it's goal based - your goals and when you believe (and our Ts can help us assess this for ourselves) they are done, then you're done... If you have new goals, then you might be back.
This helps me to stay non judgmental rather than counting by diagnosis, my desires, whatever... Generally I have unusually high expectations on myself but I'm trying to remember that a shorter time doesn't mean I've done better, or a longer time mean I've done worse... Or that I need to justify my time based on my history (that somehow less time means it was less/more "bad" or "good" in order to try to validate myself). I want off my Meds, to have generally positive feelings about myself (so I can set good boundaries), and I want my past to stop haunting my present (anxiety, PTSD related symptoms like intrusive thoughts, etc).
anyway... Despite all I've said I still struggle and ask the same question but this way o thinking helps ground me.
I'm not sure I that is helpful but... I think it's goal based - your goals and when you believe (and our Ts can help us assess this for ourselves) they are done, then you're done... If you have new goals, then you might be back.
This helps me to stay non judgmental rather than counting by diagnosis, my desires, whatever... Generally I have unusually high expectations on myself but I'm trying to remember that a shorter time doesn't mean I've done better, or a longer time mean I've done worse... Or that I need to justify my time based on my history (that somehow less time means it was less/more "bad" or "good" in order to try to validate myself). I want off my Meds, to have generally positive feelings about myself (so I can set good boundaries), and I want my past to stop haunting my present (anxiety, PTSD related symptoms like intrusive thoughts, etc).
anyway... Despite all I've said I still struggle and ask the same question but this way o thinking helps ground me.
Prior to seeing my current T, my therapy was organised by the NHS and time limited (12 week blocks), which set up an expectation in my mind that I could be done in a few months...
When I decided to seek my own therapy, I started out with a 12 week commitment but didn't ask how long my T thought I'd be seeing her til after a year... Her answer terrified me - 3 years, 5 years, 10 years, with breaks, without breaks, as long as I need her.
I kind of accept that we are in therapy together for the long haul. But I remind her often that I could just stop coming whenever I want... I don't think it's the time that matters, but what happens between us.
Long way to say that I've given up trying to control this aspect of therapy - I have found it easier to accept that I will know when I'm done. All I know right now is that I'm not!
When I decided to seek my own therapy, I started out with a 12 week commitment but didn't ask how long my T thought I'd be seeing her til after a year... Her answer terrified me - 3 years, 5 years, 10 years, with breaks, without breaks, as long as I need her.
I kind of accept that we are in therapy together for the long haul. But I remind her often that I could just stop coming whenever I want... I don't think it's the time that matters, but what happens between us.
Long way to say that I've given up trying to control this aspect of therapy - I have found it easier to accept that I will know when I'm done. All I know right now is that I'm not!
I liked what you wrote monte - thank you - it helped me, especially the 'you are moving, just not in a neat linear direction'. having an expectation not only on the 'how far' but on the 'HOW' of the journey in general makes it so much more to slog through.
Hey guys 
Thank you for replying
I wish healing was in a straight line...just doesn't work that way, does it? I, as well as others, can relate to placing so much pressure on ourselves to just get it done. To say we are all better and move on.
I hope Therapists realize we don't want to be a part of their schedule any longer than we truly have to be.
All the best,
T.
Thank you for replying I wish healing was in a straight line...just doesn't work that way, does it? I, as well as others, can relate to placing so much pressure on ourselves to just get it done. To say we are all better and move on.
I hope Therapists realize we don't want to be a part of their schedule any longer than we truly have to be.
All the best,T.