I don't think you HAVE to mention anything you don't want to. I haven't had that particular experience myself, but I have experienced occasionally and unknowingly going into a wide open posture with T, which I don't do with anyone else. Also, one time he told me I was smiling a really genuine smile and it made him happy to see. I didn't realize I had been. I never do. Anytime I am smiling, it's like the corners of my mouth are fighting to keep it from happening (it's sad, as if showing happiness is a threat). I do not own a natural full smile, but T has brought one out of me. As I continue to see him, I'm sure he will bring other experiences out of my body that I do not know how to explain.

I haven't experienced that either but there is a section on guide to psychology that explains all about how some things stem from when we are newborns being looked after. Have you seen that site?

no - have not seen that site, it sounds good, can you give me the link?

Yup ditto. I'm sure it's too much information for some! But also sure it's normal enough. Nope, I don't feel like it's something one *needs* to share - unless one wants to.

Sadly, you have a way of bringing the vulnerable out in the open. I strongly doubt I would ever have started this thread, but now I find myself replying because you and a few brave others have paved the road. I have experienced several times a sensation which I think might be similar to yours and BG's. I would describe it as a localized arousal, but minus the sexual thoughts that would normally accompany that feeling in another setting. I have always tried to suppress the experience because my inner critic or left brain would say, "What is wrong with you, MH? Why are you feeling that sensation? Stop it!" When I reflect upon it now, I believe the sensation has occurred during moments when I felt unexpectedly but truly valued, cared about, and fully accepted, and it is like my body is responding to that even while my mind is still fighting it or trying to make sense of it. Does that ring familiar? Or should I delete?

And I don't think in a million years I would ever tell my T.

Ahh, thanks BG for saving me. I have been checking the thread every few minutes, hoping for someone, anyone, to reply and not leave me hanging! I told myself I would wait at least 2 hours before deleting...haha!

Yeah, MH, I go back and forth between thinking it's when I feel really cared for and then the sexual feelings are like a natural extention of feeling so intimate ... and the other thing I wonder is if with my SA issues, that I get the feeling when I feel uncared for and powerless.

I actually physically tried to move close to T recently. I thought I was trying to feel closer to him emotionally but I am so embarrassed by it and I'm not even sure if I was trying to be close physically.

Yes, well I am the idiot who did tell her T what she has been feeling but because it really disturbs me. He hasn't yet told me what's it's from but with my borderline traits, I'm thinking that it might be a way to connect when i'm feeling uncared for. Or it could be those trauma memories getting triggered when I feel uncared for. does that make sense?

Sometimes lately, the feelings are so overwhelming that I've been afraid that i will throw myself on T's floor and say, ok, go ahead and take me. I needed to have the situation under control so that I don't mortify myself.

I do want to say that I have had the feeling you described, but not regularly or recently enough to associate it with anything other than assuming it was just a random body thing. I never made a psychological connection to it, like I have other sensations (tingly/warm feeling on my back and neck, nausea, feeling like there is a rock in my esophagus, etc.).

*peeking my head in.....and swiftly running from this thread!*

Not ready for this topic!

Well - PHEW! - is all I can say!

I was so going to delete my beginning entry on this thread, then I come in tonight and find all these replies, saying that the same thing happens, and you are all being so honest TOO. Thank goodness.

I think it must be a normal response to being met and heard and safe and of course the intimacy in therapy IS very intimate, for example my sweet P talks in the soft gentle kind voice, - now where else does ANYone talk like that to me? Nowhere! So it feels very intimate and safe and I feel cared for and because I am often feeling incredibly little, I then feel a bit open like when we were little. Thanks all of you and especially those of you like MH and BG - for also going out on a limb to say that it happens to them too. I guess we all kept quiet about it, because we did not know it was probably normal. You have really helped me.

This happens a lot to me, nearly every session and I did tell my T about it We have spoke about it a few times now but i still don't know why it happens.

Hev

This is my first post here. I feel compelled to tell you that I have also experienced the feelings you describe. I told my T years ago and she said my feelings were sensual, not sexual. I have them whenever I feel close to a T and I somehow have managed to tell each one! I want to make it clear that I don't want to have sex with them; it's more an emotional thing that manifests itself physically. I guess it combines child and adult needs.

Thank you, Sadly, for starting this thread, and for the others who posted. I wondered whether I was the only one who experienced this but figured I probably wasn't.

Hi Growing,
I'm sorry your post went unanswered for so long, the forum has been really busy, and once you get knocked off the front page, things can sometimes be overlooked. Welcome to the forums, I'm really glad you posted. I'm looking forward to getting to know you.

And I must also say I've experienced this and that I totally agree with what your T said, that it is a sensual rather than sexual feeling.

AG

quote:

I have experienced several times a sensation which I think might be similar to yours and BG's. I would describe it as a localized arousal, but minus the sexual thoughts that would normally accompany that feeling in another setting. I have always tried to suppress the experience because my inner critic or left brain would say, "What is wrong with you, MH? Why are you feeling that sensation? Stop it!" When I reflect upon it now, I believe the sensation has occurred during moments when I felt unexpectedly but truly valued, cared about, and fully accepted, and it is like my body is responding to that even while my mind is still fighting it or trying to make sense of it

I totally understand this now. It freaked me out when it happened the first time, a few sessions ago. I remembered reading something about this here so I had to dig up the thread.

I finally have what I would imagine is a pretty secure attachment with my T, and because of that, have been in a very, very vulnerable space the last few weeks. I literally feel warm all over when she hits on a sensitive subject that I've suppressed. The emotional connection and warmth in her voice melts me completely.

Not sure if I'm going to tell her, but I can now empathize with everyone who posted here... and I don't feel like such a freak!

R2G, I guess I am glad I didn't delete my post if it helped one person to not "feel like such a freak." It really is nice that this forum can help to normalize the strange things we deal with in therapy, through our shared experiences.

Amazing how sometimes it only takes one person learning from your experience to make it all a bit more acceptable, eh?

I have definitely experienced this and have often felt guilty. It feeds into my belief through my life that I was hypersexual (now I realize it is textbook for abuse). However, even though I understand it logically I still feel it, believe that I would jump in bed with him in an instant and then have the guilt. It's like that part of me responds to him like I am the person I was always afraid I was. I have recently learned that I am not that person. But I still feel guilty.

Ok - so shy me is here to tell you that I can't believe someone actually wrote this out! I thought I was a freak - weirdo - and anything else you want to call me. I have experienced this whenever we talk about the trauma from my past. It freaks me out. I feel like a sicko because my body is reacting to things that are so disgusting that I just can't even say. I have tried to tell my t but I can't get the words out. I need to know how to stop that from happening and understand why it is happening. It is so embarrasing I don't think I can ever tell her.

I am reminded of the film called The Experiment. A man gets rewarded and feels valued and he gets an erection. I think that is the male response equal to the female melting response because there was nothing sexual going on at the time.

The man is very happy about it too and doesn't seem to be embarrassed.

I have melted too and I just thought my brain was misunderstanding situations and my body was just reacting in the wrong place because I couldn't understand why I was melting.

I am relieved to hear that this seems to be normal

This has happened to me too...recently...not so much with the T, but in life in general, as I go about my day. I feel like it might have to do with going through the healing process and your whole being becoming connected to the process.

In my case, I started hormone replacement about a month ago. This may have something to do with it too.

Thanks for being brave with this post.

quote:

I still feel it, believe that I would jump in bed with him in an instant and then have the guilt. It's like that part of me responds to him like I am the person I was always afraid I was. I have recently learned that I am not that person. But I still feel guilty.

ND, I've never seen my innermost fears put into words like this. I can really relate to what you've said, thank you.

Starry