((((Butterfly))))

I'm so sorry about your experience with T. It sounds awful. I don't know how one would possibly trust and connect with a T who didn't show their care. It's hard enough to do so with the ones who do. You're not a downer. Glad you are posting here, but totally understand if you can't. Thank you for checking in.

Hi, Butterfly...I am SO sorry to hear about your experience with your new T. She sounds so cold and uncaring. And that things are distressing for you at work and having health problems, too- and no support from a T to deal with those issues it must all be incredibly painful and difficult in dealing with. I know how frustrated it must feel to reach out for support in incredibly difficult circumstances after losing your beloved T, and be met with an uncaring T, especially when you were clear that it would take time for trust to build. Awful.

What I am wondering is if there is any way you can contact your old T who you have some trust with, and just ask simply if she can recommend anyone in your area that may be able to work more gently with and understand your issues. I know how incredibly hard it would be to do that, so toss this if it isn't helpful or just adds more stress. I hate seeing you suffering there without the support that you badly need and deserve.

I understand if you are not able to post and if it doesn't help- and please know that I don't want to put any pressure on you int hat regard- but if it does help and just in case you are just feeling like you shouldn't, (because I know how that feels too) I hope that you will know how much you are welcome and that we care and would love to support you.

((((Butterfly))))

Love,

BB

Butterfly,

I'm so sorry to hear that things didn't work out with the new T and that you felt so uncared for. Disconnected sessions are awful and it is especially hard in a new T relationship.

It sounds like you have so much going on in your life right now. I hope the tests go well and you are feeling better soon. Thank you for checking in.

(((hugs)))

Dear (((flutterby)))
It's just too sad to accept that a T doesn't care - having some difficulty with this myself - so understand the pain!! I'm so sorry that this has happened when other life stuff is in turmoil - please reach out here as much as you can - so many here care for you!

Please try to keep in mind that this was about her personal and professional inadequacy NOT yours - you've been very up front from the worD go!!

Love
Morgs

Draggers, Yaku, BB, STRM and Morgs...thank you so much for your support and understanding and your hugs which mean so much right now.

Hugs to you all
Flutterby

Butterfly I am really sorry you ended up having such a bad experience with the new T - that sucks when you put so much energy and effort and emotion into finding yourself a new T to carry on healing. Nothing I say can make it any better, but I do want to say good for you for not taking the blame for it - as I know(!) all Ts are not equal and some Ts are downright incompetent and shouldn't be practising, it's just so sad that you ended up with one who falls into the latter categories.

Do you think it would help you at all to use this forum as a kind of therapist? Rather than stay all shut up with your pain alone, and no-one experienced in therapy to be there with you, maybe letting out a bit of your feelings and concerns here might tide you over in the meantime? And will most certainly give you some support with what you're having to deal with at the moment even if it's not anywhere near the same as having a T.

I hope you do reconsider finding yourself another T - I know money is a BIG issue (why are they so expensive!!!!) but it might well be a worthwhile priority, do you think?

Sending you lots of good wishes (((( Flutterby ))))

LL

Thank you LL for your kind and understanding words…they were a huge comfort. After seven months of being on the forum, which I love being a part of and has helped me considerably, I still don’t really feel I belong and I feel so nervous posting anything about myself. Hopefully I will be ok; I just think the ending with this T has made me re-live the grief of losing old T all over again just when I thought I had gotten through the worst of it . All the feelings of empowerment, thinking I could do this without old T have now gone flying out the window and now I just feel really sad and alone again. Such a contrast to how I felt a month ago.

Butterfly

My dear (((flutterby)))
I so wish I could be as articulate as lamplighter and others with their helpful responses and thankfully they are who they are and offer so much!!

All I can offer is caring thoughts and hopes that things can somehow work out for you!! and please remember, this forum family, of which you're a valued member, has so many parts to it, verbalisers and non-verbalisers, right up there with all things therapy experts and not, but all we need to do is just keep in contact to gain knowledge/sustenance/support!! Hang in (((flutters))) you're loved!

Morgs, you offer so much too! Thank you for your support...I shall hold onto your hugs and caring thoughts. I hope things will work out too...I shall keep my fingers crossed that there are happier times ahead.

Look after yourself
Flutters