quote:“…but at this point I think everyone has had a chance to speak…” –Attachment Girl
No, I have not had a chance to speak. My name was mentioned several times, so it only seems appropriate that I have a chance to speak like everyone else.
I want to first say-I had politely asked some to not post my past user names here. It has nothing to do with the conflict and everything to do with privacy. I’d appreciate if people could be respectful about that, but no one honored the requests. Most of you didn’t know, but some who knew are still doing it. I don’t think people would like it if I posted all Poppet’s past user names that she didn’t announce publically, but I don’t feel vindictive enough to do that. Maybe people didn’t read the requests? Thanks.
It seems obvious to me that posting things in public reveals the truth, and significantly diminishes any opportunity for manipulation. I wouldn’t have thought it would have been this obvious. I think when EVERYONE is allowed to see the thread, a person can’t tell a ‘different version’ of the story….
Many say “no one is perfect”, “we are only human, we all make mistakes” (what does that make me when I make mistakes?? A non-human?), but aside from ideas about conflict resolution, nothing is being addressed. Again.
quote:“Hello Everyone, just to clarify, I am the only one who has the decision making authority to ban someone from the forum. I always offer an explanation for the decision.
If someone is banned and wishes to return, I first need to chat with them to clarify any outstanding issues related to that decision. If we are able to come to some agreement then the individual can return. However, if I feel it would not be in their best interest or the interest of the community, then they will not be allowed to return.
Please remember the moderators are volunteering their time. They are not responsible for explaining or defending my decisions. There is no "behind the scenes" attempt to hide things or confuse anyone.
The recent discussion by Irish is unfortunate. It appears that she has not received my replies.
Please also know that I am attempting to find a resolution.”
- Shrinklady
SL made an announcement that it didn’t appear I got her replies. Well, I am terribly confused. I have created accounts to PM her then she doesn’t respond. When I created the Irish account, she actually PM’d me, then someone banned my account right after I responded and before we had a chance to see if things could be worked out. So I never got the response(s). It’s as if there are 2 people there. Maybe SL has assigned a surrogate to her account to handle messages, or maybe this is craziness? I’ve also received/sent emails. I don’t believe this is confidential information but if so, will delete immediately. I am so confused as to what’s going on here. What responses are being referred to?
quote:“Perhaps you can imagine what it would be like to know that someone from your community had written something horrible about you 'out there', but that you didn't know who had done it. I consider that it would make every interaction feel unsafe.” – Jones (from the other thread I started as Irish)
Jones, that is exactly one of my points. I don’t have to imagine it as it has happened to me. SL told me I was banned because she has no time to oversee the forum so has to make those decisions based on what other members say. And, she told me, the criteria is that if 3 people make complaints, that she will suspend the account. I was NEVER told what I did and who said it—just like your scenario here. No one told me they had a problem with anything I was doing. Prior to this, there were 2 members who I had brief conflict with, but we had worked things out. I still talk to those members to this day.
quote:“I did not 'hunt' Irish, nor did I do some sinister analysis of her grammar and syntax. She had posted using a lot of the same accusations, worded exactly the same way, that she had been making for a long time here. She used a name that was closely related to one she used here. As much as anything, I was concerned that it was someone else trying to pass themselves off as Irish - I actually fully believed her when she'd denied writing that stuff but the similarities were obvious. Then she was showing up more and more often. It was a very volatile board, and I was concerned about what her intentions might be here and there. At some point she was inviting people here over there, to a place whose members included numerous self-described sociopaths.” - Jones
Jones,
I really do think you are trying to be sincere here. But really-you are the one who introduced the “sociopaths” to the people here as you brought it up by introducing the blog. I am tired of hearing how things are done “out of concern” around here. People said whatever they wanted to at that forum. And What could possibly have been the concern about me posting there? And as I’ve told you, there was one interesting therapy case discussed there daily that interested me. It as absolutely fascinating. Besides all that, I posted maybe 3 times there, besides some irrelevant technical questions. You did start the conversation with the fact you were looking at my grammar, punctuation, sentence syntax. At least with the sociopaths, I didn’t have to worry about paranoia and I knew exactly who to avoid. It almost felt safer there..
SL, I don’t know if you are getting my messages but am assuming so as you never responded. Here is most of my message:
As I said in the PM, I do not have a camera on my PC. Someone just told me that perhaps I could go to a library to Skype. However, I am not feeling safe enough to compromise my privacy in that manner. It's a little extreme to require members to reveal their full identities, imo. May I call you? It would feel safer.
…Privacy issues, in terms of mental health patients, are HUGE and taken very seriously. I realize forum members are not patients, but there is a grey line here, and I have no doubt there is an ethical dilemma here as well. Can I ask why you've been lax with our safety and privacy? I believe it wasn't intentional. I am just dumbfounded…
Aside from all the back and forth.... The worst thing, in my opinion, that anyone on this forum has ever done was give my IP address to Jones (and who else??). Do you know people can obtain a picture of my house and the street I live on within 3 minutes of obtaining my IP address? That, in conjunction with my email address that contained my real name, was given by you to people who have demonstrated their emotionally instability numerous times. Catalyst received death threats, as she recently stated. I'm not sure you have acknowledged the seriousness of this issue and have not seen that you have commented about this on the forum. This is too important to overlook. Is the person who gave IP addresses out still a member of the forum, or was the problem not addressed?
I do not hate Attachment Girl anymore. I do wish she'd accept responsibility as everyone else has done instead of turning things around to make herself the victim. (Can I please have my victimhood just this one time!) But I do think there is room on the forum for her, Poppet, myself, and anyone else who contributes.
Although I intended to accept responsibility for my actions, I ended up denigrating myself. I am done with that. I hope you can accept responsibility for many of the actions that took place here under your oversight and responsibilities. Right now, you are allowing people to say abusive, horrible, and some untrue things about me and leaving the posts up despite my humiliation. As CTL, Ucello said, others have done much worse here on this forum but are still members. Her post on that thread pretty much sums things up for me. Maybe you could imagine how I must feel?
Could you answer just this one question for now--if I was abusing and attacking Attachment Girl for years as she claimed, is it really plausible that she would recently ask me to be a forum moderator? I'd like your opinion on that one.
quote:“I seem to remember a moderator here posting a policy about the privacy of IP addresses afterwards, and I think that is good to have in place.” – Jones
I never saw this. In fact, I repeatedly sent respectful PMs to ask what personal information people had access to during Janegate. I asked on the open forum-respectfully-but the post was deleted. I asked in PM-respectfully-but was banned. I created an account to clarify, never posted 1 message under that account, and was banned by BLT because “she figured since my other accounts were banned”. It was with futility that I tried to find answers about the privacy issues. BLT finally left a note with the account suspension message after all this effort to get that information that yes, the forum administrators and/or moderators? Had access to our email addresses. No one ever answered me about the IP address issue. And then people are criticizing me for creating accounts to get answers? This is insane.
edits were to formatting
everyone. really.