Regulating Catastrophizing

veryhopefulMember

I need any advice or tips on how others who fall into this terrible habit minimize the intensity. I now know where this "reflex" stems from and have gotten better at putting the brakes on it through self-talk. However, when dealing with my family of origin, which is in full swing at the moment, I expect only hatred and unnecessary chaos, which they thrive on. I have to speak to my sister today and my adrenaline is flowing, as I expect the worst. Maybe I am not the helpless child anymore and they cannot kick me around with their veiled anger and sarcasm. I want to be able to hold my ground, but dealing with them is a living nightmare. Any input is appreciated. I am beginning to pracice better self-care, but they have this power to effect me so negatively. I just thought of something.....taking my power back! Those words give me strength. I may have just answered my own question.

6/19/147:16 AM

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catalystMember

Even when we do self care to manage the "right now" it's so hard not to skip ahead.

My Ts have helped so much with this, as have my anxiety Meds. What I worked on with my Ts was accepting the situation I'm in and allow myself to, at the same time, also not "approve". Let's say I'm going to see my Mom.,, well I have to accept

Have you ever heard when someone dies that the last phase of grief is acceptance? I've looked at my catastrophizing that way.,. I'm grieving the future whether it will be how I think or not. What I do is try to remind myself it's okay to be powerless, sad, frustrated because I in no way approve of what is going on, but I'm in the situation and it's real and all I can do is what I can do and try to let go of what I can't.

I still struggle, but it's the best I've got. It can be very hard to think these things when we also feel very intense. I am blessed with a very obnoxious internal observer, and that helps a lot.

I feel like I'm making it sound "easy"... Or not be supportive but I do completely understand the intense pain of this, and when we are triggered of course we want to plan for the worst to keep safe. It takes time, and we can only be patient.

6/19/148:55 AM

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exploringMember

One thing that helped me on trips home was remembering the mindfulness concept, "I am not my emotions, I am the observer of my emotions." That gave me a little space from them and some room for self-empathy.

Another helpful quote was from an Enya song: "on my way home, I'll remember only good things. On my way home I'll remember all the best things." (Probably not the exact quote.) Few families are all bad; for me it helped to remember the happy moments and the shared fun. That helped me look for and see the good in my family members, too, which was good as long as I kept sight of taking care of myself and not letting myself get flooded or my feelings submerged.

Not sure if these will help you, but it's just my 41 cents (inflation.)