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Draggers, this is a wonderful article you wrote, and I'm right up against all this with my T and my one alter. I'm just now beginning to "confess" my dependency on her and very frightened.
I printed out some of this so I can read it again when I get suspicious and scared. You are so right that we are extra vigilant to every move and possible motive of our therapist. And I do hope I can get through some shortcomings, faults, or lapses of memory of my T. Yes, this is the hardest work in the world.
I wish I could have email privilege to help me with misunderstandings or suspicions between (roughly weekly) sessions, but I go to a large county clinic that can't handle much in the way of extra requests. Your post is helping me a lot to deal with this stage.
I printed out some of this so I can read it again when I get suspicious and scared. You are so right that we are extra vigilant to every move and possible motive of our therapist. And I do hope I can get through some shortcomings, faults, or lapses of memory of my T. Yes, this is the hardest work in the world.
I wish I could have email privilege to help me with misunderstandings or suspicions between (roughly weekly) sessions, but I go to a large county clinic that can't handle much in the way of extra requests. Your post is helping me a lot to deal with this stage.
I read this and cried for it contains so much stuff I have been trying to communicate with my T lately. While I don't have DID, I do have very strong inner parts who are clashing and have contrary and conflicting words and actions. My T keeps saying "but you said...." and tries to correct me about what I said - but I keep saying 'yes that is true - but that is from xxx part and that is because xxx'. My T just keeps saying that she is confused.
Interesting that her and I talked (disastrously) about love recently and this article speaks a lot about love in the therapeutic relationship.
I find it hard to continue with therapy as I have large gaps of time and days and we usually spend half the first session of the week with me trying to remember what I did over a couple of days. When I am in trauma mode (which is often) I am unable to form memories accurately and this really affects therapy. At the moment our therapy is at a standstill and at crossroads - so hopefully if my T reads this article she will be reminded how I am affected and how hard it is for me.
SD
Interesting that her and I talked (disastrously) about love recently and this article speaks a lot about love in the therapeutic relationship.
I find it hard to continue with therapy as I have large gaps of time and days and we usually spend half the first session of the week with me trying to remember what I did over a couple of days. When I am in trauma mode (which is often) I am unable to form memories accurately and this really affects therapy. At the moment our therapy is at a standstill and at crossroads - so hopefully if my T reads this article she will be reminded how I am affected and how hard it is for me.
SD
Powerful piece of writing - and accurate I think.
SD - have you been assessed for dissociation? Having internal parts and finding you can't remember what you've been doing does sound very dissociative (and familiar I might add).
sb
SD - have you been assessed for dissociation? Having internal parts and finding you can't remember what you've been doing does sound very dissociative (and familiar I might add).
sb
SB
Nah, haven't been assessed and I have asked around here a lot and pretty positive that I don't have multiples, but just have very defined and strong parts inside that are a part of me. My lack of memory happens when I am in trauma mode and I don't put things in memory so that when I try and recall days or events I just have blank. I use emails and texts that I sent to rebuild the memory and then I can remember it.
I do dissociate and get triggered and go into trauma reaction a lot - so I am on the DID spectrum I guess, but definitely not enough for a diagnosis.
SD
Nah, haven't been assessed and I have asked around here a lot and pretty positive that I don't have multiples, but just have very defined and strong parts inside that are a part of me. My lack of memory happens when I am in trauma mode and I don't put things in memory so that when I try and recall days or events I just have blank. I use emails and texts that I sent to rebuild the memory and then I can remember it.
I do dissociate and get triggered and go into trauma reaction a lot - so I am on the DID spectrum I guess, but definitely not enough for a diagnosis.
SD
"The client sees the theorists actions as disproportionally magnified" oh how much I relate to that.
I don't have DID but I still feel the article explains how I feel and the struggles I have / are having in therapy. For the first time I seem to be finally working with a T who is AWARE of how super-sensitive I am - other Ts have inadvertently caused further harm and further trauma and shame, by some if the things they've said or done (due to my disproportional responses).
I don't have DID but I still feel the article explains how I feel and the struggles I have / are having in therapy. For the first time I seem to be finally working with a T who is AWARE of how super-sensitive I am - other Ts have inadvertently caused further harm and further trauma and shame, by some if the things they've said or done (due to my disproportional responses).