sending gentlest & safest of . cant say much right as this is tiny portion of whats going on for us now - so we get how and complicated it gets xx

Oh Draggers...this post has thrown me for a loop. I had to read it in small portions at a time because so many things resonate with us. All I can say is your wisdom in how you're dealing with this is unbelievable. I know everyone's situation is so different yet the same in some regards. You truly are so brave and courageous.

Thank you for sharing something so personal and inexplicably painful with us. We are honoured.

The Kid and li'l one

(((Draggers))))

You are one of the bravest people I know. You have worked so hard! It is paying off. Some day you will fully recover even if it doesn't feel like it right now.

I told you of my best friend in a pm. She is living an integrated life right now. She won an APA recovery award for her work and recovery and she is now running a full time business and has a family etc. I saw her through the worst of it and it was harrowing. I can honestly say she is in a much more peaceful way now.

You are as persistent and brave as she is I can tell. You amaze me Draggers!!

(((Draggers))) I do not know what to say except that I am thinking of you.

((amber, tk)) we are just starting to deal with memories stuff plus other DID stuff..sorry
we can not offer more than hugs xx

Pingles, my friend, hugs are truly more than enough when one is feeling so incredibly alone and facing this scary, confusing stuff. Thank you xxxxx

Draggers - I'm speechless. But not from horror, but instead, absolute awe.

I have no other words except consider yourself and all your little ones loved and cherished for who you are in your hearts.

Sending you much love and hugs...something I don't take (or give) lightly.

The Kid

Dearest ((((Draggers[pcd])))) forgive me for not posting earlier - useful words continue to fail me!! You are an amazing and wonderful young woman who (with the help of your cps and protectors) has survived horrors that most people have no idea exist!!! You are not evil/unclean and 'you' did not cause Faith's breakdown - your 'experiences' were too much as she suffered with you but couldn't partition it as she loved/loves you so much!!

I hold you in my heart as always and wish I could comfort you when you're going through such intense pain

s to others here who have opened up about your suffering also - you're inspiring s

Much love to you all, Morgs xx

(((Draggers))) I've been away and only just read your post now. I am truly sorry for your suffering. Nobody should have to go through that. You may struggle at times (a lot of the time) but you can hold your head up with pride that you have the strength to have survived. DID was/is your coping mechanism and I don't see anything wrong with that. May God bless you.



B2W

Draggers... you know you are much loved by me and I find you inspiring and courageous. And in spite of losing Faith during that same time I was abandoned by oldT you were there for me and we leaned on each other to take it step by little step until we found ourselves with our current T's. I am so thankful I had your support and courage to help me through such a horribly difficult time in my life. You are a truly generous and loving soul.

Many safe hugs
TN

Draggers I am sorry I have only been able to reply up to now; your post is triggering but that is ok; these things are ok to be said in the open and by brave people like you who are able to express a tiny bit if what happened to them to educate and encourage others.

I remember too well what happened with Faith and I agree that it was nothing to do with you, but the atrocities that were done to you, and that it very different Just as firemen, ambulance crew, nurses etc have to walk away from their jobs sometimes, it's not the people they can't deal with, but the awful life experiences they witness. But that doesn't take away how it makes you FEEL and I truly truly get that, I know that feeling that with every word you might contaminate and affect your T just by being in your presence when these things have to be said

You are a wonderful and truly remarkable person, whose bravery and determination shines out on these boards as you help so many others on their journeys ...including me

starfishy

Love you dearest Draggles. I'm so glad you survived that terrible time with Faith, and everything that came before it - though so sad you had to go through it at all.

I really want to say that I am 1000% sure that Faith's vicarious trauma was not a result of any badness in you. Nor was it something you could have prevented or changed.

This site on vicarious trauma for care workers makes some excellent points: Vicarious Trauma

Some helpful things from that site:

"Vicarious trauma is a process that unfolds over time. It is not just your responses to one person, one story, or one situation."

"Vicarious trauma is the process of change that happens because you care about other people who have been hurt, and feel committed or responsible to help them."

"This process of change is ongoing. Your experiences of vicarious trauma are continuously being influenced by your life experiences (both those you choose and those that simply happen to you in the course of your professional and personal lives). This is an important point because it provides hope: as the process of VT unfolds, there are many opportunities along the way to recognize the impact your work is having on you and to think about how to protect and care for yourself while doing that work."

"Research on stress and coping suggests that VT will be more problematic for people who tend to avoid problems or difficult feelings, blame others for their difficulties, or withdraw from others when things get hard. On the other hand, people who are able to ask for support, who try to understand themselves and others, and who actively try to solve their problems may be less susceptible to severe vicarious trauma."

The site discusses lots of other risk factors too on this page - risk factors - the risk factors include the worker's life circumstances, social and spiritual support and work style, but NONE of them are down to contact with an individual survivor/client.

I hope this helps a little, Dragsy. You don't carry the evil that was done to you. You carry the wounds and the scars.