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3 replies

Requesting a change in appointment time

T tygrMember
Hi

Just need some quick opinions.

Saw new T for the first time on Wednesday. Prior to meeting I had emailed her to see whether she had availability. She emailed back to say she had an appointment open at 1.20 p.m. every Wednesday. So I replied to say subject to our first meeting, 1.20 pm would be fine every week and put it in my calendar.

At the end of the session, when I was quite emotional, she asked whether a later time would suit me better. She started off by offering 6.30 pm and I agreed and then she said that 4.30 pm would be better and again I agreed. She then said that she couldn't do 4.30 pm next week so could I do 6.30 pm. I was a bit confused by then but agreed, without checking my diary.

Anyway, I left and went to put the appointment in my diary and immediately realised that it clashed with another appointment. Rather than knock on the door and tell her which I didn't think would be appropriate, I went home and emailed her later that day to ask if she could keep it at 1.20 pm next week or do any other time on Wednesday because I had a clash.

Well, she hasn't replied. I emailed her about 3 times before our first session about practical arrangements and directions and she always got back to me the same day or the following day. Now I'm concerned that this will be seen as a boundary issue and that she hasn't replied because she wants to see my reaction. I'm kicking myself for not checking my calendar in the session so that I would never have agreed to the change in time next week. I'm getting very nervous about why she hasn't replied.

Argh. I've decided to email her again tomorrow and explain that I've already booked and paid for the thing that clashes. If she can't change then I'll decide which one to attend.

Any thoughts? Is requesting a change under these circumstances really a big therapeutic issue?
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navymenavymeMember
Hey there,
It sounds like your T is pretty open to switching times...

Think of the reasons that would delay you in normal daily life from responding to an email - Then think of your T in the same way.

Sometimes they're just regular people whose lives get in the way of work sometimes.

I've had to request differing appointment times repeatedly over the past month and a half, due to having changed jobs and being in different places for training etc. When I expressed concern about being a pain in the butt - My T told me that all personal things aside, this was her business, and I was paying her for a service - and part of her job was to balance the timing in providing that service.
T tygrMember
Thank you!

I was fine for the first couple of days then made the mistake of googling it and found two books referring to requests to change appointment times being an opportunity to provide a different response to the one that is socially accepted and as a good opportunity for growth of the client.

I think in some therapeutic traditions, that might be the case. Hopefully not in hers.

I thought she'd be flexible though seeing as she's changed her mind a few times already and we haven't really started yet so I don't have an established "hour" as such.

I'll email her again tomorrow and try not to feel too bad about it.

Smiler
T tygrMember
Argh!!!

This is why I hate therapy!!

So I emailed her today to apologise and say that if she can't change the time, that's fine and I'll assume it's still at the time we agreed and she replies STRAIGHT AWAY to say let's meet at the time agreed and "see if we can sort all this out".

It's only this week that I've double booked myself and the other thing I booked weeks ago so should really take precedence but that isn't really the done thing in therapy is it?

Anyway, I've reacted by going into floods of tears. No doubt this is something to be discussed with her. But all this for the sake of me not checking my diary at the time. I could kick myself! And then probably her Wink

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