I use a special ring tone because I do not want them surprising me (not that they call me unless I have called them, but one cannot be too careful). I have used tocatta and fugue in D minor, the theme from the exorcist, the theme from Jaws, and from Psycho at various times. But then, I vascillate between ambivalent and hostile. I have thought if I ever got erotic transference I would use Bolero.

I have no ring tone for T. He has only called once, when texting was broken. I think he knows that being called stresses me out. I had a total anxiety attack when I saw his name on the incoming call. I should make a separate text tone for him, though. I never thought about that. Every time I get a text, I get so anxious in case it's him and how is he going to react to whatever last thing I sent. And every time it's NOT him, I actually get disappointed or distressed, because even if he reacted badly, at least the waiting for a response would be over...

I always have my phone on silent because I don't like being disturbed. (control issues!lol)

If I were to pick a ring tone for T1, it would probably be one of the songs she sings in her band.

For T2, I'm not sure. Perhaps some sort of classical music.

this topic makes me sad. my T never calls (or texts for that matter). If only she did... I can't believe there are actually people who can text their T 24/7...

The ringtone would be 'Icecream man' by Tom Waits, because the lyrics are appropriate and the intro is good for a ringtone

Mine are telephone calls for them returning my call or them calling to cancel or change appointments due to something unexpected that has come up for them. I use different ring tones for most people so I know who is calling if I cannot read the screen.

quote:

Originally posted by permafrost:
LG, your T sings in a band????

Yeah, she plays the guitar and sings. She formed the band in 1998, about four years after I had stopped therapy with her. She wrote me a letter in December, 1998 (which I still have) and mentioned that she had joined a band. That was the last time I heard from her for 12 years because I never wrote back. When I got back in touch with her in November 2010 to start phone therapy, I asked her about her band and to my surprise she is still in the band. She was excited because they had a few cool gigs coming up around the holidays and in January. One of the band members is a famous politician now (but she wasn't in 1998 when the band formed) so they played at her inauguration in January.

Permafrost, the thought of me bringing up the subject of texting her (in case of an emergency?) would never ever enter my head... (Probably because I fear rejection). And, as she hasn't brought it up either, there is no contact apart from the occasional email to confirm appointments etc.

On the one occasion that she did call me (because she had an appointment opening up), it totally freaked me out too, so I kow what you mean...

I get the impression it's quite normal for people to text their T's in between appointments in the States. Is that correct? I think I might have to emmigrate...

My P has never offered to text or email. I don't think he would agree to it.
The only way to communicate between sessions is to call and leave a voicemail for him. He does have an "urgent call" voicemail system, which he usually responds to quite quickly. I wish there was some way besides leaving the routine message that I could communicate. I a may ask him about the email possibility. I can always try.

I do not text with ts but I have emailed one of them.

My T allows an exceptional amount of contact. I don't think it's really standard. Wish he didn't, because I really cannot control myself about it. I do better with very strict/firm boundaries, but he refuses to tell me I can't reach out whenever/however I feel inclined. I told him last session that it makes him a saint to deal with my issues on that!

Yeah, I once told T I had hours I allowed myself to text. He said that was not necessary, but I'm pretty strict with myself on that at least. The only time I have texted him late is right after leaving his office (he gives me 9:00 pm sessions pretty often), so I know he is definitely still awake. And that time, it was almost crisis-level...freaking out so much I couldn't remember how to drive my car.

If we move into country songs, what about Here's a Quarter, Call Someone Who Cares.

If I had to pick a song, I probably wouldn't pick one ironically, but one that soothes me. I get so stressed out communicating with him that having a song that makes me feel comforted would be best. I've been trying to learn to play "When the Rain Comes" (doubt many here would know it) on the guitar lately and that usually allows me to break out of my agitation.

Irony makes me feel more detached and is soothing to me. So I do pick ringtones for that purpose.