Could be Drag culture a party or something. I don't wear Drago and I've been to a few events with them. There is Mardi Gras... could be like a masquerade party... or it could just be him being silly. Maybe he just likes feathers? He's a bird themed super hero? It was a bird awareness dinner? Could be anything really.

My friend and I found these huge sequin and feather covered (like 5ft tall) bird looking things that had shoulder hoisters (so you'd rest it on your shoulders and it went around your head) in the trash. We were somewhere in our early teens so... of course we put them on and walked around all over the place. Not sure what subculture that is!

What do you think it means? Or, I guess how would it effect your therapy or relationship with your therapist depending on what the reason was?

I also saw a picture of him in this really elaborately done gold mask, with a gold outfit-type thing on, lots of necklaces, etc.

I don`t know- it`s just like if he`s going to say things in the room about/ reference drag queens, he`s giving me information, right? But it`s incomplete info so if he doesn`t want me to know something, why bring it up?

What context did he bring it up in?

You could always ask next time he brings it up. Ts use their experiences, things they know, etc in to the room all the time I don't think he "doesn't want you to know" or he, you're right, wouldn't have mentioned anything. If T's had to give you the whole 9yards on everything they bring up we'd be in there forever finding out that where they went to dinner last night was based on a recommendation of their sister's college boyfriend through his new girlfriend who happens to know T's daughter, who by the way was going to a state college this year - she's taking English - anyway, we heard about it through her who heard from him, so that's how T knew about it. Ya know? I dunno if a T would want to say 'So I have a friend that does Drag and I go to all these concerts to raise money and stuff and we all dress up sometimes, ohmygosh it's so fun and we have this friend Joshua who actually hosts these events it's INSANE, it's actually been making me question my sexuality, ya know? I can't really tell, but anyway so this drag show I went to... ". Qualifying everything would be exhausting.

Do you know how it would effect your therapy or relationship or thoughts on him if it was a halloween costume, or he spent his nights afterwork singing on a drag stage, etc?

Well, I can`t be too specific, but once he did quote RuPaul abt her thoughts on other people`s opinion of her. Ironic, I know.

Also, once I was wanting to find out some info on being more "alive" or "out there" in terms of my "presence" and he mentioned watching some clips of drag queens to get a sense of being more present. It probably doesn`t matter, given my other post abt him and I`s relationship. I thought I have been trying to be honest, and in some way he isn`t being honest with me.
Thanks, cat- I appreciate your thoughtful replies.
This is sooo confusing- I was so angry this AM- I pretty much told him off (in my head)- to go F- off, leave me alone, and how seeing him has been a complete waste of my time, how I`d never go to therapy again b/c of him, etc.

He left me in a cliffhanger- as we walked out of the room, he turned to me and said " Remind me to tell you about handshakes next time we meet." What a moron!

Cliffhangers suck... I wonder what he will tell you. I know handshakes originally came from "back in the day" (way back) as a way to show you didn't have a concealed weapon. Now they are used for lots of things... From deals to comfort to sportsmandship to spreading tastey bacteria. I always think of them as very formal and business like (I guess since I do it at work mostly). I hate greeting friends of friends with a handshake - I'm a hug person so usually I will ask when we're parting after meeting if a hug is cool. Anyway hopefully he can explain more and you guys can open up what you're thinking and feeling... and drag queens have a TON of presence, I've been to fundraiser shows and personally I love them!

Thanks- I think he meant we`d discuss handshakes in the therapeutic relationship- I have done some research-and some say it erodes the frame- the "safe space" of therapy if therapist and client touch.

I know the boundaries- which is why I`ve never asked him abt the photos.

Update:

I talked abt it with him- we`re ok- rupture repaired. now we move on to addressing my anger in a way that I can handle.

He could handle my issues- as always

Wonderful

He didn`t talk abt the pictures- because I didn`t ask. That`s ok. I saw him on a Facebook group for an establishment that identifies itself as a drinking establishment that hosts drag shows, and for men that prefer men. I think I have all the answers I suspected.

Update- I saw pictures of him in full drag. Although he is no longer my therapist (terminated a few months ago) I`m angry and disillusioned. He`s one the one that said I had some issues surrounding gender and identity. Projection, anyone?

It`s as if the whole 3 years we worked together are a lie. I`m heartbroken. He`s transferred me to someone else that I get along great with- and I`m trying to decide if I should quit, because T2 is a recommendation and colleague of T1.

Thought, anyone?

Well, did he ever say he DIDN'T have issues with gender and identity? Do you think dressing in drag is necessarily a bad thing? Is having a private life necessarily a betrayal of you?

As long as things are going well with T2, are T1's leisure-time dressing preferences really that important?

On my satellite TV there is the Ru-Paul Drag Race, which dummy me thought was about drag racing cars. Nope, it's about guys who dress up as females and have a competition as to who can look most glamorous feminine.
As to sex, I don't know. I guess it's no worse than folks who like to dress up as animals or cats. Some of the cat people are really serious and even have plastic surgery.

I say, as long as you don't hurt anyone who doesn't want to be hurt, it's great fun to be a little weird on my own time. It doesn't mean I can't act "normal" and responsible when I'm supposed to.

I am not sure why this makes the 3 years a lie? He has a private life you do not know about, but that's quite what a private life means. From your reaction, the issue of gender identity seems to be a sensitive point?

If it is something that really disturbs you, you may want to bring up the topic with your T2, to see what precisely worries you?