I am going to see old T again. 20 months since my last appointment with her.
I had been seeing her for 4 years and was very much attached to her and my inner child loved her deeply. Then she accidently hurt little me and the grown up part of me said I should understand she’s only human, everybody can make mistakes. But that made things worse I think. At that time I didn´t understand what was going on. I felt terrible, tried to cope, go to work and do the things I had to do but could not eat, sleep or function. After 3 months I was admitted to the psychiatric ward. Felt that I had to stop seeing T, and the feelings were so overwhelming that I felt the only way out of this was suicide. It has taken me more than a year to pull myself back together.

Now I have e-mailed her and at the end of this month I will see her again.
I´m glad and exited, but I´m also scared, really scared. What if seeing her will stir up all those feelings again?, what if I can´t handle them? How can I explain to her what happened? Will this work? Am I doing the right thing going back?