quote:

It was a knowing that all was well with me, a confidence, and inner strength that made me feel optimistic about my here and now and future.

wow. wow. wow. in my wildest dreams i can't imagine that, but can imagine i'd welcome it. good on you, muff. i hope she visits you again and often. just come back and tell us how you done it.

I have written nothing.

meaning that your experience is yours and yours alone or ? i can both appreciate and respect that.

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.” ~ Helen Keller


How true it is.

yes, it is true! but it doesn't make anybody else's truth or experience less significant, and i don't believe HK would want you to believe that, either. it may be humbling, yes, given her multiple conditions. but we can all learn from each other.

i was able to make a short vacation with my 17 and 18 year old daughters. i love them both so much and i'm pretty sure they both know that. i kind of had an epiphany of sorts while we were in Duluth, MN overnight. (if you've never been there, it's a great place to go for a get-away). my daughters are kind of on the opposite sides of the spectrum. they're both very smart. one is more worldly but not so psychically intuitive (as I see it). the other is more emotive and "psychic" and doesn't have the educational drive that the other daughter does. i realized that i try to compensate for each daughters' "weakness" as it were. but i also realized that who am i to say that their weaknesses are weaknesses? can i just embrace them for who they are and encourage them to be who/what they are and not try to "fix" them? after all, i don't believe that they are broken, so why do i feel the need to fix them? i just feel like i'm coming to the realization that if we were to embrace each other for who each of us is, don't judge, just encourage each other to be who we are each meant to be, that we'd all be confident and we'd all be able to contribute fully what we're here to contribute because of our confidence. we wouldn't feel over-shadowed by others, because we'd have our own niche, our own place. and we'd all feel valued.

that's just kind of something that i realized these last couple of days. you've written alot, muff, and you've contributed alot as it pertains to today. people enjoy and benefit from what you write. don't dismiss it, please. you're valued here. we all are. so there!

Points taken CD.

Who is the HK with multiple problems?

I am not deluded enough into thinking I could save/fix any one. Perhaps thinking would be a good enough goal though.

Helen Keller

and i'm not alluding that you are trying to fix anybody (that was my folly). but maybe that there's room for accepting that your contributions are valuable in and of themselves, and not to be valued based on others' experiences.

Its hard to imagine anyone has thought about any thing I have written because there has been so little feedback CD. Which is in itself says a lot I guess.

I think I am at an end to my scribes anyway. Real work is calling again.. I might pop in here on session days and scribe until .......therapy ends. With folk like you in here, (with or without a cuppa,) I would feel more understood.

Being able to scribe freely in here has been an opened door. Many times I thought my words would ban me from continuing.

Muff I just want you to know that I read all your posts and I'm not sure how to respond because you are so far ahead of where I am in my process, your incredible honesty is amazing to me. So please keep writing!

Green eyes, I want you to know I was thinking a lot about the pain you are experiencing now. It was mainly you I was writing for.

Group hugs

Hi Muff, I read your posts too, but I generally feel like a therapy preschooler here. The therapy you talk about--going back to memories of infancy--is beyond my ability, but it's fascinating to read about. I hope you'll continue to write.

Thank you

RabbitEars

Not memories of infancy RE, but senses, and feelings. (Lesson one)

(((muff))) you kind of speak on a different level, and that's okay, in fact it's great! Jones said it in another post about how your posts often lend to silence. but it's a good, reflective silence. you bring that out in people, and there's so much room for that, not just here but in real life, too.
but from what i hear, you desire more feedback and dialogue. maybe now that others know this, they will be more forth-coming. i hope you get what you need here. and i hope you can stay for as long as you need.

What do I need in here?

I suppose it is what most need; some kind of recognition that I exist, and have suffered as much as many.

What do I want in here? I think it is to let others who 'know' me that there is hope and an ending to suffering. That the ending will take longer than the beginning, and not to give up.



.

and my T would tell you that it's all about the journey, not the desination. in other words, there is no ending :P
but it's all good. we're all in this together and i "see" you, muff. i recognize your existence and your suffering, and i'll try to be more responsive in the future. i've said before that i'm glad you're back and i still mean it. i really am glad you're here!

quote:

Originally posted by muff:
Not memories of infancy RE, but senses, and feelings. (Lesson one)

Ah, that is a lesson. Interesting... Thanks, Muff

quote:

Originally posted by muff:
the ending will take longer than the beginning

please say it ain't so! I am confused lately because my T has said I am "so close" (to what?) and also that I have "barely scratched the surface". What does this mean??

Muff
sorry if I was slow on the uptake
and i don't really know how to thank you for thinking of me and my pain.
i'm doing a little better. xx

RT, the aim of therapy is to help us cope out there. Who knows, you could be out and about in no time, doing cart wheels around your life. My stuff took a long time because I went back to my beginning~ it wasnt needed, but I chose to go there.

Those emotional pot holes do get shallower green eyes.

quote:

Originally posted by muff:
My stuff took a long time because I went back to my beginning~ it wasnt needed, but I chose to go there.

Hmmm. OK, I'll ponder that. Maybe in my case, I was "so close" to the surface of the hard work, and now I've "barely scratched" it. And I think for the deepest, most satisfying life, the hard work is needed.

agree RE for the really, really satisfying life we all deserve, the pain and trauma's of the past must be completely dealt with even though its like being asked to put your head underwater and trust you have gills somewhere that you don't know about.

Thank you Draggers. Your too kind. I have only ever read one psych book and that was when I realized I needed help. I was labelled in it as being 'neurotic.' A tad of an understatement!

I have been too involved in my own therapy to be reading about it in others. A lot of what we are taught is common sense, I think.

I do hope you have had a few laughs while I scribe. Struth, dont we need one?

LOL, sooooooooo, it was YOU I heard laughing Draggers.

You just had to ask didnt you Draggers?

Ma had the finest looking hydrangeas/geraniums (whatever they were) in town. Only me a big sis knew why...and now, YOU.!

Muff, I may be a day late and a dollar short, which is often the case with me, but for what it's worth, I have always been very moved by what you have written and contributed here. Your writing has often challenged my thoughts and has recently helped me to create some changes in my life.

As I have also chosen to do deeper, intense therapy back to the beginning, I find alot of insight and empathy in your posts.

I do not often respond in kind, and that's part of my own stuff I'm working on.

Thank you for all you have shared of your self and your journey. I hope you will continue to write.


Blu

I am moved~ very moved by this Blu. Fight on!

muff,
I always enjoy your posts also and have thought you could write a book. Somehow I was under the impression that much of your posts were meant to be a journal...a place for you to come and read back later...don't know why I thought that?? I was glad to see you come back recently so I hope you'll be staying.

RT--I wish you'd come back!
and
Lamplighter I wish you would come back too.

's and welcome back
Hopeful

Ah no, I never kept a journal Hopeful. It seemed every time I tried to write nausea hit, or I could only write a few lines before brain said, "Thats enough, go and distract please." Brain has kept a pretty good record of the important stuff though.