On the way there brain asked how I was feeling. Numb, I whispered. "Well," said brain, "How do you want to feel"? "Shiddy, very shiddy please. I Imagined brain communicating to her cells and sparking off all my neurons into life. That didn’t happen until after the session.

In the first hour of the session, mouth garbled on about the last few days being in an emotional holding mode. It was only when I took brain outside into safe mode that I realized how afraid I was. I felt the rage wanting to come up then.

Under hypno I described something I had seen in the Karl Jenkins space video. To me It was a black gassy figure that represented a headless Ma. I felt I had come from that figure and no longer needed her to exist. I felt the child me was a long way away from this figure, but when I tried to focus in on where she was, I couldn’t see her. He asked where I thought the child was. "Sitting in my chair Sir."

The rage started when I drove off home. It was like an emotional delivery sparking off my brain neurons, and contracting every muscle in my body except the ones needed to drive. Mind took over the driving while brain sent neurons spinning. My viscera, back, neck, jaw, shoulder, thigh muscles locked into uncontrollable, and painful spasms of rage. Every few miles they relaxed a little enough for me to catch my breath and blow excess rage out my mouth. This went on for a half an hour before waves of heat began to seep back into my muscles. All the while I kept saying, (a part from a few colourful words) "Gawd this feels good."

http://youtu.be/ibwxzxER_pY