Hi Frog

I see my T once a week and that works well, occasionally I see her more frequently and that's always easier because I can achieve more and have her to fall back on for support if the work becomes difficult. I am lucky I think that I don't have the transference issues that you feel, that must make it so much harder frog....I find it harder when we step down sessions, the feel I am really alone with my memories and that's really harder still.

starfish

I started out seeing my T once a week. Then I kept having to add in second appointments and noticed that after we did that I seemed to stay more stable in between so I asked her if we could make that permanent. So, since last fall I've been seeing her twice weekly, but with an occasional 3rd session and even a 4th when things are really bad.

Our current plan is that I go M,W and the Friday we reserve if needed. Friday sessions go in spurts when things are bad and then for a while I won't need them. I'm not sure if it increases the attachment in a bad way. I (some of us inside) are very attached to T and seeing her more often decreases the anxiety around that as well. It also was a big step for me to ask for more support because I am so accustomed to doing it all on my own and refusing help.

Did your T say this was permanent or just for this next week?

Hi Frog, speaking from my own experience, I believe gradually stepping up the frequency of sessions has been most helpful to me, probably due largely to my attachment style and trust issues. In the beginning, I went only once every 2 or 3 weeks. At the time, that was all I could handle without fleeing. After several months I began going once weekly, and now for the past 6 months I've been going twice weekly. I notice that when the break between sessions is longer (e.g.,due to vacations) that our relationship and my therapy take a step backwards and the number of crises I experience increases. So I need that constant contact right now to keep moving forward. Not everyone in therapy has the same issues, and some are in different stages of progress, so this may not be the best for someone else. I do think it will increase your attachment, so I can understand your anxiety about that. I remember the same anxiety when I first went to twice a week, wondering if it was a sign of regression and something to be ashamed or worried about. Perhaps you could give it a trial run for awhile, and if you don't think it is helpful then reserve the right to go back to the old schedule. Good luck.

starfish, scaredtoriskmyself and Mad Hatter-

thanks for your comments and for giving of your valuable experiences. I also startet with 1 session pr week, after 6 months we stepped up till twice a week. I dearly needed that, and felt more comfortable with my T after that step up. (but still felt that i was bottomless in my needs.) I agree with you in the positive effect this new step up may couse. I`m not really so anxous that i`t will be more difficult, just a vague feeling that the idealization (love feelings for my T) will disappear?

STRM: to answer your question, - Yep The idea is 3 sessions pr week from now on. I`dont have to pay for the sessions, so its all just a blessing, yet I have to work hard to manage the practical part (make it match with my studies- and give my therapy all the priority..)

Mad hatter, -i do relate to the question if the attachment increase, is a sign of regression. And I deeply felt (feel!) ashamed of that as well.. Oh yeah- I still feel ashamed for being so attached to my T.. maybe therefor this anxiety of being even more attached (=ashamed)?

OK. Thanks again, I think I`ll just have to wait and see, and just cluster myself to this hope that my T wont regret that he offered me this (too-good-to-be-true ) time..

All good wishes for you

as to the original thought on 'how often', i know it is personal, but i found twice a week SO GOOD. enough time in between to process some stuff, and close enough to not feel like you have to squeeze it all in or wait a week to get to something you didn't have time to cover.

cost weren't an issue?? i'd be on the couch, free associating five times a week!! and LOVING it!! jill

Jill,

I agree with what you said about twice a week. What I've found is that in general, I use the first session for heavier stuff and the second during the week for clean up so to speak. It doesn't always work out that way, but ideally that is the way I try to work it out.

As far as longer sessions, my sessions run anywhere from 60-90 minutes. Most typically 75 and frequently 90 mins. We have also had the occasional 2 hour session, but that isn't the norm. I would have a really hard time with the traditional 50 minute framework. I've met my out of pocket limit with insurance so my sessions have been "free" for quite some time now this year. They are now covered at 100%.

Hello again Frog. Not sure that you just missed my reply to you in your other thread, so am risking it by posting in this thread too - wanted to say hello to you as we’ve not ‘met’ before. Hello

That’s great that your T has now offered you a third weekly session (it worried me first when you said he just kind of announced it - thinking well that’s all very well but what if you can’t afford it? - but as the sessions are FREE - oh lucky you!) I’m glad you are happy about it too - it’s such a good opportunity to get more from therapy.

All the Ts I’ve seen I’ve always asked for two sessions, as I find one session a week is too far apart and any work that gets done or issues raised in one week are LONG forgotten or overtaken by the next week’s session. Too much time in between sessions for the status quo to reassert itself!

But nearly all Ts I’ve asked for two sessions seem to find it odd and often they just don’t have the space. If I could, like Jill, I’d have five sessions a week quite happily - just to get on with the work, keep at it, keep the continuity up.

Interestingly the latest T I’ve seen offered two sessions immediately, and has touted the probability of a third session a week. Trouble is three sessions starts to get VERY expensive (he’s already the most expensive T I’ve ever had) so it’s going to be an issue. But he gave continuity as the reason - keeping the momentum of the therapy up - and I feel that way too - for in depth therapy I reckon that at least two sessions is important - just enough time in between sessions to sort things out and process them and come up with questions etc but not so long that it all fizzles out and you have to start all over again each next session.

Anyway Frog, I hope you get so much more out of your therapy now that you can increase the frequency of sessions

LL

lamplighter- I`m glad you took the risk and posted Thanks for both welcoming me- (hello to you as well and for telling me i`m lucky.(and for telling me that you liked reading my posts! Ha ha- why really?, thei`re full of lacks and grammar-wrongs, it`s all over this forum now.lol. )

I know meny of you (all of you people?) have to pay for the sessions- so (the spoiled part of me) i DO feel lucky- and very humble. I admire you for working so hard and give your therapy so much effort and costs. Seriously.

the continuity works better allready and i finally relax a bit more there now, even the "free association" part feels easyer in sessions and there is no doubt the continuity- as you wrote- is for the better.

You.. Lamplighter, can I ask what kind of therapy you`re (been) in now? "depth therapy" is that similar to psychotherapy?

- so long-

Hello again Frog

I'm glad you're finding the third session even better - I am assuming that because your T offered you a third session that he is a psychoanalyst or something like that? I've read your descriptions of him, it must be both great and scary having a famous and published man as your T?

Oh when I said depth therapy i just meant therapy that really goes deep into issues and problems and feelings - as opposed to say CBT type therapy which tends to just deal with surface presenting problems. I haven't been in therapy for a while but hopefully am starting again with a new T - he is psychodynamic psychoanalyst - a type of therapy I've not done before.

Hee hee I like reading your posts because I like how you express yourself - you come across as very honest and open and friendly and self aware, and funny too (in a witty way.)

It does make sense this continuity idea doesn't it? It's like you can carry over from one session to the next without getting lost in 'real life' too much in between. And the T has a better chance of remembering what's happened from one session to the next as well.

Glad you're here Frog!

LL

Lamplighter..again

How come you be so sweet? Thanks for being so warm and generous with me... maybe you should become a T yourself? Guess you would find youself trapped in intense love-transference projections from your patients.. hehe . Well, OK- your questions: (thanks for asking btw)

- Yep. My T is a psychoanalyst. But he likes to think of him self as an "mix"- whom also uses a psychodynamic approach.

- when it comes to "getting lost in real life" its rather for me like i "got lost in therapy"- and never really managed to be present IN REAL life. (sinse I would just use ALL my energy on WAITING for my next appt.) Yes, the continuity makes total sense. Lets make it a dogma.

- (and now my favorite question of yours) Yes, its great and scary having him as a T. Firstly i struggeled alot with the feeling of being not important enough for him, not sick(yes, really) enough, not interesting enough etc.. On the other hand, the idealization grew big and fast, because I was so amused that my T actually wantet to spend his precious time on ME. He is known in my country among the helthcare-buisiness and so on- but nothing like an A- celiberty or anything, just sometimes in the media etc., f.ex when talking about a new book or whatever the man needs to reply on. Honestly, i`m just provd. But glad it`s nothing he needs to "show off" or brag about, He`s rather shy and descrite about it all. (there is i reason people chooses to work as therapists you know..they like focusing on OTHER peoples lifes instead!)
Was that an answer good enough? Thanks for letting me ramble about all this.(I`m gonna start to blush if I keep going- haha)

When will you meet your new T? Hope your new T is good (he better be the best actually) and that you find psychodynamic psychotherapy helpful and good and "deep enough"..
Good luck, all the best wishes