Oh emerald

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I think this is a fear that all of us have about our T's. I know that I can't say anything to take away your fright and pain, but I am hoping for the best for you through this. We are here to support you, so please keep posting. I know you have the courage and strength to face this.

PL

emerald,
First I am glad you came here to be among friends who realize how heartbreaking this must be for you! How long before your T has to leave?

Although I have not actually had to face losing a T, sometimes during this kind of distress I find it helpful to talk through it until I can't talk anymore and I finally collapse and go to bed and deal with it some more later. Taking it in as small of chunks as possible and talking it through is the best rememdy I find. This is a good place to do that. Tell us whatever you feel like sharing and we will listen.

(((((emerald)))))

Keep posting!

(((((((emerald))))))) I'm so sorry, I've had a T retire and I know how painful and frightening it can be. And how overwhelming it can feel. Please know you're not alone and we can understand why this is so significant and so hard. As JM said, talk here as much as you need to about what you're going through.

How long before your T retire? Will you have time to process this ending with your T? It doesn't make it stop hurting but it can help you handle the pain. I'm so sorry you have to go through this.

AG

Emerald,

I am so sorry for the suffering you are enduring. I can't imagine what you are going through. My T forgot to tell me about his vacation the friday before it started and I really went to pieces. Can't imagine what I would do if he up and left his practice.

My thoughts are with you.
Russ

emerald,

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. I was seeing my son's T and grew quite attached, and had to stop our sessions last month when my son was referred to another T. I had to start seeing a new T and really wasn't looking forward to it at all. This was one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through, and I can understand your pain and your fears.

I was going to ask the same things as AG. I hope you will have time to process this with your current T.

Thinking of you,

OW

sorry i havent been on here. Iv been admitted to hospital for a week now. Im out now and still feeling really crap. The couselor says that i will meet a new therapist and she will come to sessions with me and then she will leave me completely. The therapist says that after I have been in therapy again for a while then we can go out to coffee and catch up. But i never see her as a therapist agin. She cried in my session i liked it becuase it meant she was genuine. But i hated it cos it increased my pain. Not very happy about the whole situation.

(((((emerald)))))
I am with HB and hope you will work through these hard feelings with your new T and that you always have a place here to come as often as you want.

As tremendousky difficult as this MUST be for you I am glad that your T's will overlap each other that way. It warms my heart and chokes me up to know that your T showed such genuine emotionns for you too. How nice that she is also offering you contact and opportunities to catch up in the future. That way I hope it doesn't feel so much like a loss, but a shift. Still painful though because I know you want her as your T and you will be able to grieve that safely. She will always be a part of you with a tangible connection for you to draw from. Right now I know you are more occupied with the pain and grief to focus on anything positive coming from this, but I hope you are able to feel her love and care in that way too.

Hnag in there. You'll get through this.
JM

omg ! what is she T thinking I cant do this.

Why is she T doing this to me. I cant see a new T.I have to see her later today.
What do I do.
I dont understand why i cant see her at the new place she is moving to and she wont tell me where that is.
support and help needed..!pls
kit,
from em

I'm sorry, I know how painful losing a T can be and I really feel for you.

Are you seeing she T today or the new T, or both? Has she told you why she's not able to tell you where the new place is, and why you can't see her there? If not, I would definitely ask whoever you are seeing today. I know for me, once I know the reason, it's easier for me to deal with.

I think you can do this, even though I know how hard it is. We're here to listen and support you as you work through it.

Take care,

OW

Em,
I am so sorry. I can understand how hurt and frustrated you are. I hope she will at least explain why she can't see you or tell you where she is moving to.

I wish I could be of more help. My heart goes out to you though.
Hang tight. You can get through this.
JM

I dont know what to do, She T was talking about referrals last session
Im trying to stay positive and also trying to ignore the fact that she is referring me, but its not going to go away.

It feels like abandonment, i'm so sensitive to people leaving me usualy but this is different its a very different relationship unlike any i've experienced before.

Emerald,
Of course this feels like abandonment and it's critical that you work through this transition with your T to alleviate that as much as possible. It does feel that way and you need to honor those feelings by expressing them the way you are, but keeping in the security of the backdrop that she really is NOT abandoning you and that she is making sure to find someone who will care for your needs when she is no longer able to. Perhaps the way a mother would who finds she is terminally ill and needs to find someone to care for her child when she is gone. In this case your T is not dying and she has offered some contact with you in the future, but this is a tremendously painful shift taking place right now and she and your new T will make this transition work out as best as they can. I am sorry that it can't be painless.

I know this hurts so keep posting. You are really strong and handling this much better than it may feel like you are. As hard as this is I get the sense that your T is doing all she can for you and that she cares very deeply for you. That is something you can hold onto forever and nothing can ever take away the meaningfulness of this beautiful relationship you have had.

A flower may fade and whither as it slowly loses it's pedals, but that does not mean it was never beautiful to the bearer and that it never brought joy to the beholder. -JM

emerald -

I'm one of those HB speaks of. I was seeing my son's T and then when he was referred to someone else, I had to be too because of insurance coverage. I last saw her professionally a couple of months ago - it was and is one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through, but I'm making it.

I am working with a new T who is totally different and there seems to be no transference or attachment... I don't think I could take the double whammy right now anyway so this is a good thing. I still see my son's former T on purpose (we both were involved in starting the same monthly parent support group) and on accident (she works at my son's school and it's a very small town).

I just saw her yesterday and got an email from her earlier in the week (a very innocent email with nothing major or even personal) that sent me back to where I was a month ago. I'm kind of upset today thinking about what I'm missing, but I do realize that I am lucky that I get to see her. Your T has offered to see you in the future and I would take her up on it. It might be helpful if you can actually get a sense of when that would be, so you can plan on it. It may make the transition go more smoothly.

I understand how painful this is, and you're right, it does feel like abandonment. But you have to remind yourself that it really isn't. I like what JM said about that - I couldn't say it any better.

OW

hi thanks for the posts they are really helpful.
Im glad to hear people here have been through it. My T hasnt even been through it. Which makes me think does she really understand how it feels. She idolises her T and i dont think she would cope with it so why is she making me go through it.

She T may not be leaving after all.


Not Getting too hopeful though that way i can protect myself.

Emerald, You must tell us more! We will try too hold you down so you don't get your hopes up.

well she didnt go into details of why but she said that she might not be leaving after all. She said that if she does leave then it isnt going to happen quickly.
She told me not to worry about it now which is not really a good thing to say to someone with anxiety.

I am not getting hopful so i can protect myself because she has a tendency to say things and then change her mind or go back on what she said.
like when she said she had no intention of leaving me but she then told me of plans to leave.

Anyway things are going ok but very, very, confusing.

Therapy is going very slowly at the moment because of this issue. My therapist says its ok for it to go slowly that iv been through enough lately and i deserve a break from hard times.

Yes, you DO deserve a break from that Em!

She told you not to worry about her leaving or not? I am glad you can laugh at the irony. Sometimes our T's humaness can't help but shine through. "Yeah ok T. It's not like I have anxiety issues or anything."

It must be very frustrating when she changes her mind like that and I understand your defensivenes so you don't get hurt anymore. I feel it too. I think your T is right to say that it is ok to go slowly right now. A nice, slow, calm can be very soothing to an over activated nervous system. Slow is usually better for the therapeutic process anyway.

Hang in there!

JM

Totally agree! Thanks for your reply