Hey confusd good to meet you. I would just bring it up next session and tell him you hope you didn't hurt his feelings because that wasn't your intent.

Something kind of similar happened to me last session. My T has been late for the last three sessions in a row and it really pisses me off. She said no matter hard she tries, she can't stay on time and I reply "ya, you pretty much suck at that." Well I immediately felt bad, because she really is one of my all-time favorite people but didn't say anymore and she didn't say anything at all. Our session was pretty decent and when I went to leave I apologized for saying she sucked at being on time and she looks at me and says "I didn't even hear you say that."

So maybe your T didn't take it the way you think. I guess the best way to deal with it is to just bring it up. Good luck.

Hello confusd,

Nice to meet you.

I had something quite similar happening recently.

I had a big crisis, and for the first time ever, I had my therapist calling me, every day for 4 days (until our session, actually) to help me calm down and not go into full full crisis mode.
During the session, I asked whether she wanted me to pay for it. She explained that no, it was an exceptional crisis situation, and it would be different if it was to happen on a regular basis. And I answered "yeah, no, I hope it won't, it would be a pain".... and immediately felt bad for implying that calling her was a pain, what kind of rude person says that... so I specified that it was the crisis I was talking about and... she had actually completely understood.

So: 1) your therapist probably understood, 2) but if it is bugging you, it probably can't hurt to bring it up. We usually have a "left-over" time in my sessions, especially during the sessions after a difficult session, precisely to ensure I can bring up any concern, any "oh, I actually meant" or "I am not sure what you meant"...
So it seems like it is important for you to clarify what you meant... go for it, worst case scenario, he will think you are very considerate of his feelings and will want to explore that! Good luck!

My rule of thumb is... If I have a lot of reservations or have to ask if I should bring it up... I should bring it up! Even if only to try to explore why it stuck with me.

I think it's great to be sensitive to others and I think it's okay to mention and even to ask (because you can't know unless you do) how T felt.

It's also good to explore the whole... Why am I apologizing thing. I feel shame or fear when I think I have said something wrong to someone I trust or love or is in authority due to a pattern of sudden violence growing up (if I did something perceived as wrong which could have been anything at any random time). I also apologize a lot by nature and culturally. Anyway that can help you learn stuff also or to bridge a conversation about people pleasing, or other relationship dynamics you may or may not have.

Talking about apologies I've also learned things I'm stubborn about or just plain won't apologize for and we build on those strengths (when they are strengths). I learned I have trouble apologizing to people who remind me of my (hysterical, dramatic, no responsibility for anything/the world is against me) MOTHER who drives me INSANE. I do apologize more for some reason to people who I think are much more intelligent than I am. Anyway,,, can you tell I've talked about this a lot on therapy? It's because I say sorry once a minute pretty much.

Talk to T is my vote.