I think it's fine for them to join social networking sites - although if I were a T I would be very careful about my privacy settings.

I have seen my son's former T on social networking sites, in fact she is now one of my Facebook friends. When I found her (it was an accident when I did the "find friends through your email contact list"), her page was open for everyone in the city network to see. She wasn't aware that her profile was available for everyone to see, and was thankful that I told her.

I don't think I would have sent her a friend request if we were still seeing her as a therapist, and I know I would never do that with my current T. But if she was on Facebook and her profile was open for everyone to see, I would look at it.

I also don't mind if she were to "spy" on me by looking at my profile on any social networking site. Everything I put out there is available for public consumption and my T knows me better than anyone, so why should I care? It may actually help her to know me better, and be better able to help me, so it could be a good thing.

Then again, I'm one who wouldn't even mind if my T read my posts on this site and knew it was me. It would make things a lot easier because I am terrible at talking about the things that are really on my mind.

Hi echo

It's so fuuny that you are asking that question.

what do you think?

I think I am seeing the problem here. Clients of therapists are thinking of the therapist as being the "be all - end all" answer to everything for them.

It's only natural. Where else do you tell your inner most secrets to a trusted "friend"? But here's the trick - these people AREN'T your friends - nor should they be. [Boundaries] You are PAYING this person to hear you - to guide you (maybe when you should be guiding yourself?). They are not your friend. They are a paid, working professional, nothing more. [Sorry.]

Go to them with the attitude of going to a hairdresser - you want an update, a new "look". You are not going to marry them just because they make you feel good and look good, are you?

'

.

quote:

Originally posted by SpaGirl:
I think I am seeing the problem here. Clients of therapists are thinking of the therapist as being the "be all - end all" answer to everything for them.

It's only natural. Where else do you tell your inner most secrets to a trusted "friend"? But here's the trick - these people AREN'T your friends - nor should they be. [Boundaries] You are PAYING this person to hear you - to guide you (maybe when you should be guiding yourself?). They are not your friend. They are a paid, working professional, nothing more. [Sorry.]

Go to them with the attitude of going to a hairdresser - you want an update, a new "look". You are not going to marry them just because they make you feel good and look good, are you?

'

.

Hey SpaGirl

That's the problems that I had with my counsellor. He was acting as if he was my best friend. The jokes he made...during face-to-face sessions or long long phone conversation which wasn't really emergencies or anything, even chatting on MSN. Talking about you know...

Can I e-mail this to my counsellor?
Yes, I am asking your permission.

iam,

If you think there is a problem there, then by all means, email whatever you need to. IF he is "getting too close", then YOU need to be the one to set the boundaries. This type of relationship MUST be platonic - to deviate from that forfeits the sanctity of healing.

PEACE.

S.

PS - WHY was he chatting with you on MSN???????

Did HE call YOU for phone conversations or did YOU call him?

HMMM.

Hey SG

sorry, I didn't mentioned that he is my EX Counsellor. I don't see him anymore.

Yes, I am the one who set the boundaries.
He was getting too emotional.

Why was I chatting with him on line?
He gave me his address and I added him and
I was able to talk to him in between session.
I was his perfect study subject so he gave me all the different ways to contact him.

Did he call me?
Once, he made me cry that day from the session.

any other questions???

quote:

Go to them with the attitude of going to a hairdresser - you want an update, a new "look". You are not going to marry them just because they make you feel good and look good, are you?

This is an interesting point to keep in mind. Although the intensity of the change T's bring about, the fact that it's an "inside" job that takes quite a bit longer than the "outside" job of a hairdresser, makes it understandably more complex. And if there's attachment issues then it gets even harder for the patient to keep things in perspective. In fact, I don't think it's possible, at times, for the patient to keep things in perspective at all. Which is why it is so important for T's to maintain good boundaries at all times, such as "no dual relationships" on networking sites and such, so the patient can achieve real healing which will ultimately dissolve the therapeutic relationship when it is no longer needed.

Dual relationships present way too many opportunities for T's to use patients for their own needs. And the patient is vulnerable to being used due to the power imbalance. Without this vulnerability, I don't think real healing can take place. But it also presents an opportunity for profound damage. That's why T's have an awesome responsibility to have their "stuff" together so they don't harm their patients.

IMO, ultimately it is the T's obligation to maintain the boundaries, not the patient's. If they aren't doing that, then the patient hopefully has the strength and/or the support to find a T who can.

quote:

Then again, I'm one who wouldn't even mind if my T read my posts on this site and knew it was me. It would make things a lot easier because I am terrible at talking about the things that are really on my mind.

Now I see why you call yourself "Open Windows". I've also wished that my ex-T would find and read my posts on this site, for exactly the reason you stated. Even though it would be crossing a boundary of sorts, if he did it just for therapeutic reasons, it could be very helpful. Unfortunately, I think this wish is just a sign of my hard-to-kill hope that there's some way to repair the therapeutic relationship with him enough to rewrite the ending.

Thanks for the topic
SG