Over the years T has let me know about his Ma, another sociopath. She used her only son as a sex object from the tender age of two, and enjoyed inflicting physical pain upon him. T's Ma was a little more lenient towards her daughters, and all four little girls gave what they could towards raising their younger brother.

But Sir, your Ma was surely worse than mine for doing all those nasty things to you?

No matter which way you look at it, rejection is rejection.


Sir, do you cry while going through your stuff?

No, not much.


Do you have fantasies too?

Yes.


Do you feel rage?

Not so much now, I am aware of feeling it but it seems to pass over me these days.



10 wks later



Can you feel love now Sir?

Yes.


Self love?

Yes.


Is it what I felt for those precious six hours?

Yes.