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4 replies

Sister Talk

S sgoldenbeeMember
Hi I am new here but basically I need some help and opinions on a topic that I have been wondering about for quite some time now.

Im 29 and I have 2 sisters one is 27 and the other is 24, we grew up in a pretty strict Catholic home, and while my middle sister and I have adjusted fairly ok, my youngest sister is kind of worrying me a little bit.

The reason why is, sex. I am married and my middle sister and I do talk about sex, i suppose in a normal sort of way. My youngest sister wont. She absolutely refuses to. She was told by a therapist previously that she didn't have to so she brings that up anytime sex is a topic amongst sisters or friends.
Here's the catch, she has been with her boyfriend since like high school and even live together.
The reason why I am worried is that talking even about her period is a huge deal, she gets so embarrassed that she starts crying at times. I don't necessarily wish she would dish on every single detail, I just want her to be able to have an honest discussion about it so that if she feels like she has a problem she can feel free to ask, and not embarrassed.
I understand that not everyone is comfortable with sex, I just want her to have a normal and healthy view of sex and not want to cry anytime anything related to sex is talked about.

Or am I wrong about all of this, should I just leave her alone and let it go?

Thanks.
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N ninnMember
quote:
I just want her....


You say she saw a therapist....sounds like she is letting you know her boundaries by saying she doesn't have to talk about it, and that's probably her way of letting you know she simply doesn't want to. I'm not sure why that's not okay.

Everyone is definitely different. I don't talk to my sister about my personal issues. If I have a problem, I ask my OB/GYN. The only two people I talk to about my personal stuff is my OB/GYN and my husband.
room2growroom2growCo-moderator
Welcome sgb!

I am very similar to your sister - there are certain topics that may arise in conversation that make me very uncomfortable, mostly because I have nothing to add to the conversation. If someone tries to bring me in, I'll often excuse myself, and yes, I've cried over topics as well.

Through working with my T, I have better coping skills and don't cry as much, but I am still not ready to talk about certain topics with anyone outside of my T. What would make me feel good is for someone to say "R2G, I know you don't like talking about ABC, so I won't bring it up anymore, but if you ever do want to talk about it, I am here for you."

The silent support can be very helpful, as is knowing that someone is there for me when I am ready.

Maybe your sister DOES have some issues with feminine and sexual topics, but those are her issues, and the more people taunt her with them, the more traumatic they become. (Or at least that is my experience with it!)

Again, welcome to the boards and congrats on reaching out for input! We're always around!
N ninnMember
I can hear in your words how much you love her and care about her and worry about her!

I've wanted for so long for my sister and I to be closer. For her to "talk" to me about anything and everything. We don't have that kind of relationship, and never really have, and it makes me very sad. Mostly now she just doesn't have time to talk and she lives 900 miles away.

Just let your sister know you are there if she ever does want to talk.

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