Sleep

jillannMember

I have not slept more than 5 hours straight since December. This along with daily crying is what led me back to therapy. I have a lot of very stressful and intense stuff happening in my life right now. But I feel like lack of sleep is making my perceptions of everything that much worse.

I don't have trouble falling asleep. I just can't stay asleep. I have wild and vivid dreams. I'll wake at 1:00 be awake for a little while, drift off and then wake again at 3:00. Then if I can drift off again ( doesn't always work), I wake again at 4:00. That's usually it for the night.

I had an appt with my GP scheduled for a few weeks ago. But apparently she has had a family emergency and will be gone a month. They rescheduled me for June 14. I don't think I'll make it that long.

When I was depressed before (20 years ago), I was put on Prozac. I remember it worked well for me but when I wanted to come off it I had a really difficult time. I kept restarting it because depresion symptoms would return. Finally I wanted to try to get pregnant and didn't want it in my system while I was pregnant so I just forced myself through the withdrawal.

I don't know if I need an antidepressant or sleep medicine. I have been trying so hard not to go back on meds this time. I am trying to eat healthy, exercise most days, doing the right stuff. But I'm about ready to throw up my hands and admit defeat. If I could just sleep! T says sometimes you get into a cycle that you can't get out of alone.

I am starting to have thoughts that scare me. How do I make myself sleep all night!

Any help or tips would be so appreciated.

5/19/131:19 PM

❤️ 0

Original Post

Replies sorted oldest to newest

heldincompassionMember

(((Jillann)))

It sounds like the dreams are trying to get your attention, maybe? Have you tried keeping a dream journal and interacting with their material and content? It helps me to just write everything down, in all the detail I can remember, then write out all of my associations and feelings about the dream. Connections emerge and patterns become evident over time. For me, being attuned to my dream life is an important part of self care. So that is where I'd start if having trouble sleeping and with wild dreams.

If it all gets to intense to work on on your own, it can be great fodder for therapy (provided your T is willing to work that way).

That's my two cents, anyway. Hope you start to sleep better soon!

5/19/131:33 PM

❤️ 0

room2growCo-moderator

Hi Jillian,

I can SO relate to not sleeping through the night since December. This past week I slept through the night without wake-ups for the first time since January. I was having major nightmares, like you, and those vivid, vivid dreams!

Yes, my dreams get much more vivid when T and I are going through deep stuff, I think that is something that is more common than we realize. I actually went through a long period where we tried different medications to help with the depression, and then had tiny doses of different sleeping meds to help with the sleep. They all actually worked great, and it wasn't until January when we had to do a med change (my med that was so wonderful for me was discontinued!) that the nightmares cropped up. They were/are a side effect of the new meds I started when my old ones were discontinued.

I say all this partially because in the depths of my most depressive episodes, I had trouble sleeping, yet I was ALWAYS tired. Going on the AD helped level me out, which made me not always tired, but I still struggled to sleep more than three hours in a row. The addition of a tiny dose (we're talking like 1/4 of the typical dose for teens, and I'm an adult) of sleeping meds made the perfect combination to help balance things out.

Hope this helps?

5/19/133:34 PM

❤️ 0

muddMember

Jillian
I was just wondering & maybe I missed it in the thread, but why are you reluctant to start a med or something to help you sleep? You sound like you desperately need something. I don't know how youre functioning on such little sleep.
I will send you lots of my sleepy vibes...I have much to spare.
Mudd

5/19/135:36 PM

❤️ 0

jillannMember

Thank you HIC, I am learning some things from my dreams. I posted lasts nights on the dream thread below. I am just so so tired.

RTG, did you try melatonin first? I just picked some up today. I won't be able to try it till tomorrow night.

Mudd, I am just so afraid of not being able to stop the medication at some point in the future. I picked up melatonin today and will try it tomorrow night. ( I have to go pick son up from a band trip at midnight tonight so I didn't want to try it tonight).

Thanks for the sleepy thoughts

Jillann

5/19/137:00 PM

❤️ 0

lieseMember

Hi Jillann,

quote:
But I feel like lack of sleep is making my perceptions of everything that much worse.

Having had a bunch of kids, I can vouch for that. Lack of sleep interferes with memory, mood and just general health.

I've been stressed to the max lately and not sleeping well either. My pdoc suggested taking a xanax IF I have to right before I go to bed to relax me. I do find it helps. He told me to try NOT to rely on it too much because then my body will lose it's motivation to fall asleep on it's own.

For me, it seems like the lack of sleep thing perpetuates itself. I would worry that I wouldn't be able to sleep, causing anxiety and then I actually wouldn't be able to sleep.

When I get a good night with the help of some xanax, I feel more relaxed about it the next night that it's something I can actually accomplish. I really felt like I was losing my mind a couple of weeks ago. I didn't connect my mental state to not sleeping well and was so grateful to the pdoc for picking up on it. I've been really focusing on doing everything I can to get a good nights sleep and it helps a lot.

How does the melatonin work? Is it prescription?

5/19/137:08 PM

❤️ 0

jillannMember

Not prescription - melatonin is a natural hormone that we all make in our brain. It supposedly helps to regulate the sleep wake cycle. I just bought it at my local drug store in the vitamin aisle. I'm doubtful that it is going to help my problem. I generally have no trouble falling to sleep. I just can't stay asleep!

5/19/137:35 PM

❤️ 0

greeneyesMember

there is also various forms of valerian and a supplement called neurocalm by a company called metagenics. you could try taking one when you first wake.

other strategies are chamomile tea, meditation and relaxation CDs/mp3s and body scanning with deep breathing.

5/19/139:05 PM

❤️ 0

room2growCo-moderator

I have not tried melatonin as one of the most common side effects is nightmares. However, I know several people who have MUCH success with it, including a friend who gives it to her two children (5 and 7) who have a hard time falling asleep - works wonders with them!

5/20/137:05 PM

❤️ 0

jillannMember

Melatonin

Yep - Nightmares - gorey ones.

I still woke up at 1 and 3 and 4. But I will say it made me so sleepy that I went back to sleep really easily. I just really didn't want to close my eyes again after that 3 am nightmare. I feel a little off this morning. Sort of dizzy and still tired. That may be because my ED has kept me from eating more than a few tablespoons of food for the last few days.