Oh no, that is hard Elsewhere.

You know logically that her absence is medical - but it doesn't make it any easier with your issues. This will be touching those attachment problems - be really gentle with yourself, tell yourself that you are safe and it will be ok in the end.

I hope she is back with you very soon,

SB

Thanks Sapphire!
The thing is I'm also very scared for her... She's forty, is/was? expecting twins... Will she survive, will the babies survive?
A broken leg I could have dealt with, but al these incertainties and possible drama for her, are too much to handle.

(((Elsewhere)))

Breathe. Just breathe. Breathe and meditate. Soak in a hot bath, listen to some music, indulge in some furious finger painting. You need intensive self care right now. Take care of you, and it will be ok.

Elsewhere, try not to project disaster. Stay in the now and hold your T in your positive thoughts. That's truly the best thing you can do for her AND you. You both need the positive, healing energy.

Take good care,
-RT

((((Elsewhere)))))

Plenty of women have babies at 40 - and being 40 makes it much more likely to be twins. I had one at 40 and whilst that wasn't the easiest thing I ever did, I lived to tell the tale

Have you got anywhere else you can reach out for help whilst she is taking care of things? Here is good - just wondered if you have any 3D persons (a friend, another T, etc)? that would help a bit for now?

SB

Thanks everyone. I know I musn't catastrophize, but the signs aren't good and my gut feeling neither.
There is a psychiatrist that I see for medication. He knows about the situation, is nice enough, but not very well endowed in the 'touchy-feely'-department... ;-)
I do mindfulness and compassion exercizes, several time a day. But when the fear peeps through again, is it okay to come to you again?
thanks,

(((Elsewhere)))
Absolutely! Post as often as you want.

Of course it's ok to be here whenever you want

safe

thanks again.
All I know is that there are complications and she will contact me if and when she'll be able to work again. I called the psychiatrist today and he said that was all he knew too.
If she DOES lose the babies, I'm sure she won't get back to work for a very long time. And even after that, she'll be in mourning... My trauma started as my mother was in mourning and severly depressed when she had me.
But, as Red Tomato wisely pointed out, that's projecting disaster and I shouldn't....

(()ELSEWHERE)) I'm so sorry for all that your T is dealing with, and I'm also sorry for the anxiety that you are facing. I know that this is easy for me to say, but really try as hard as you can to deal only with the facts that you do know, and not project anything else that you fear might happen, because it can only make things worse for you. I know its so easy to worry, but keep coming to talk with us, and stay as busy as you can. Is there another (Fill-In) T where your T works that you could temporarily see as soon as possible that could help you get through this rough patch? Please be good to yourself, and talk with us as much as you need. Warm Hugs,