I just - I'm shivering. I wonder - what am I looking for? how would talking possibly help? I just want it all to stop and be over - but it's not over, I have to figure out which thing I am going to do in response to what happened and they all have long term consequences and none of them feel like anything I can deal with...
I don't know what to do or who to turn to or that talking or saying anything can help, but keeping it all locked up inside is not working... I just can't face this, there has to be a better option a better way out - this just can't be right or ok, but I can't see or find any way out of this...
I wonder if I should post what is going on here... I don't know of a safer place right now... but I dunno... I wonder if you all think I am a freak too...
My T is gone, I can't... I have to face this and find some solution and I am totally lacking in any.
Surely, I am overreacting - and maybe I wonder if I talk someone can tell me you are overreacting and then I won't be such a mess and then I will be ok... or at least better and...
but right now, it's just all stuck in my head. stop stop i just want the fear and panic to stop... i just don't know what to do...