Wow tygr,

I'm glad you found out ahead of time. I know here in the states, counseling is limited, but it's limited to a full 10 or 11 sessions. If you need more after that, you usually will help you find an outside therapist. But what their offering sounds pretty minimal. I don't know how it works in Britain, but in the States their are charitable organizations such as Catholic Charities that do offer counseling for free and/or on a sliding scale based on income. This is frustrating, I would know where to send you in the States, but have no idea about Britain.

AG

Thanks Draggers!!! Nothing like the local talent!

Hi guys.

Thanks Draggers

I moved away from London 18 months ago and I now live in rural mid Wales. Therapists in my immediate area are few and far between.

Uni is in a city so I will have a search to see what's out there. Mind offer free counselling there but only to residents so that counts me out. I'm sure there are options. It's my first week and so I'm still getting to grips with my new timetable and all the travelling to and from home - which is really tough!

The uni also run workshops & the disability advisor suggested i sign up for the self-esteem one. I might also investigate groups etc.

Too tired to post properly now - just after 10pm here - but wanted to quickly post to say I saw the uni counsellor yesterday and I was very pleasantly surprised. It was a CBT/ brief solution focussed approach which I didn't think I'd take to but it actually covered a lot of useful stuff.

I'm also seeing the disability advisor regularly and we are considering making a referral to the uni psychiatrist for an informal opinion. I have mixed feelings about this but am considering it.

Might post a few more details another day.

Been reading threads but very busy adjusting to my new routine and trying not to let the stress overwhelm me so can't really get too involved right now.

Tygr
x

That sounds positive Tygr - keep going.

Hello

Checking back into my thread for an update.

I know I haven't been around to support others and I apologise for that. It's been as much as I can do to get myself backwards and forwards to uni and get the assignments in. The workload is immense and everyone on my course (bar one or two) is stressed out and struggling. I've had a lot of downs and a few ups but I'm coping ok - now I've made the decision to look after myself and let go of trying to be such a perfectionist. I made a conscious decision to prioritise my health and well-being over passing the course - which immediately made me feel so much better about things.

Anyway, just wanted to post about seeing the CBT counsellor at uni for my 15 minute follow up today, which is such a cruel, cruel system. I went in, anxious as usual about baring all to someone. She asked how things were going and I explained how high my anxiety levels have been but how I've had an attitude shift this week and am feeling more positive although I'm still having a lot of symptoms - difficulty sleeping, anxiety attacks, low mood, tearful etc.

She offered me some more sessions - I think it's 4 and said that she'd arrange it with one of the trainees. That's when my heart sank and I got very worried - I'm sure the trainees are nice and good at what they do but they'll be inexperienced and I've had CBT from inexperienced practitioners before and wasn't impressed to say the least. I told her that I was worried about seeing someone without experience.

So, to her credit, she offered to see me herself and we've set up an appointment for a couple of weeks time. And then she said she wanted to show me some anxiety tools and showed me an iPhone app that was just totally inappropriate for me - it wasn't what I need at all and I know it wasn't her fault but it made me feel completely misunderstood and that the whole CBT thing isn't going to work for me. I felt like crying but our 15 minutes was up and so I held it in and she noticed that I'd got quiet and stressed but had to end the session anyway. On the way out she reminded me how strong I was because I was here and I agreed with her that I know I'm strong because if I wasn't I really wouldn't be here now.

Then I went and cried in the toilets. My hands were shaking and I felt so much worse than when I went in.

However... I then went into town, rang my sister for a chat, had a coffee, got my haircut and I feel ok. I've booked myself in for a massage tomorrow too.

So, it hasn't totally thrown me off kilter but it was really upsetting. 15 minute sessions just don't seem right to me.

I do know that I really really want to find a new therapist for longer term depth work. And I will work out a way to pay for it and set it up for after Christmas hopefully... I'll probably check in here again for moral support when it comes to finding someone because I'll probably chicken out again!

So that's me

Hi Tygr,

Sorry to hear of your troubles. I hate the UKs mental health services. In many ways, it's better than the U.S. Here, if you are poor, you will likely get nothing or sub-standard care; if you are rich or have good insurance, you consume a huge amount of services. Medical providers have few incentives to treat the economically disadvantaged.

I wanted to reply here to let you know that psychoanalytic institutions are notorious for giving free or low-cost services.

Psychoanalytic Training Institutions

So-if this is what you want -

quote:

I do know that I really really want to find a new therapist for longer term depth work.

Check with them. It looks like they are based in London.

quote:

You are welcome to ask questions and make suggestions about procedure, policy and IPA administration. The IPA Central Office, called Broomhills, is in North London in the UK, and staff are glad to provide direct help to members. If you do not know which member of staff to contact, please write to the general address: ipa@ipa.org.uk

But i also wanted to caution you-sometimes, it's not a good idea to start this type of therapy when you are in school. How much longer to go??

quote:

I made a conscious decision to prioritise my health and well-being over passing the course - which immediately made me feel so much better about things.

That's a huge strength-that you can tap into your own resources to perservere. So, it might not be such a risk for you to start psychodynamic therapy now.

I started this therapy while in grad school. My program was extremely stressful too, and it was so hard. I'm actually dazed that I even made it through. I have no idea how i managed. I was not in the top of my class though, that's for sure. I struggled immensely. But i have to give myself credit that through all the group projects, I contributed more than many on my teams. People who didn't have children and long commutes, etc.

I hope this helps. Best of luck to you.

Hi Tygr,
Thanks for updating us on what is going on. Please don't worry about supporting other people right now, it sounds like you have your hands quite full.

Those 15 min sessions sound terrible and really inadequate. I go to a psych practice for my meds and have a 10-15 min appt (once every three months at this point) and as a rule, don't broach anything really deep. I can't imagine actually trying to handle the types of problems you're struggling with in that time.

I hope that you are able to find a working arrangement you can afford for longer term therapy. And please do come here for moral support. We get both how scary it can be and how important it is to find a good T.

Glad to hear that you are feeling somewhat better though, I hope this continues so that you can be clear to work on your studies.

AG

Thanks xoxo and AG

The massage was fantastic. I'm interested in holistic therapies (well, not just interested in, also qualified in massage and reiki) and respond very well to that type of healing so I feel much better balanced and in control of my life again.

I think now is as good a time as any. I'm not "young" - this is my third time at university - I'm a postgraduate doing my second postgraduate course. Tbh, I find studying gives me so much more freedom than working. At least I don't have to answer to anyone really and there's no boss to berate me if I'm late in or not at my tip top best.

So, progress... I contacted the local psychotherapist again to ask him whether he was never taking on new clients or whether he might have a future opening. And he's offered to see me for "a short meeting" this week! Now, I'm not getting my hopes up too much because a short meeting might not lead to anything more and he might still not be taking anyone on and want to refer me but if it works out and he's a good fit, it would be so much more convenient than any of my other options. From what I know of him I have a good feeling about it too - which is a good start.

I think sometimes you have to make sacrifices and compromises and prioritise what's important. I've never been good at prioritising my own needs and I think this is a situation that calls for it. I need and want to get my anxiety under control and I'm convinced that part of that process involves understanding why I've learned to respond to stress in the way that I do and that means therapy.

Small steps...

Saw the psychotherapist today for my "short meeting". Upshot is he's not taking me on. But he wants to help and has recommended someone. It's one of the people he recommended before but now I've met him and told him my concerns he's been able to reassure me that he can't recommend her highly enough. Based on that I've emailed her to ask about her availability.

Just being with him though brought loads of painful feelings up. He said that he could see that my feelings were close to the surface and now would be a good time for therapy as a result. Tbh, I think my feelings have always been close to the surface but there you go. It took a lot of effort to get myself back under control and go to work but I managed it and even better than that, managed to articulate my frustrations over various work stresses without getting overly emotional or upset and people listened and responded! If you knew me you'd know how much of a massive deal that is for me. I've had so many emotional meltdowns at work in the past (different workplace).

I am quite drained but still making progress.

quote:

It's one of the people he recommended before but now I've met him and told him my concerns he's been able to reassure me that he can't recommend her highly enough.

Tygr, that's good news.

I know whatcha mean about feelings surfacing. But-that is also a good sign, believe it or not....

hoping things work out for the best.

quote:

Originally posted by xoxo:


I know whatcha mean about feelings surfacing. But-that is also a good sign, believe it or not....

Thank you so much, xoxo. I really needed to hear that today. I'm so so scared that the feelings will overwhelm me - they feel so painful and they have in the past - but I so badly want rid of them now.

He said something that actually I found quite offensive. That my life hadn't started yet and I owe it to myself to find the money to pay for psychotherapy. I know what he means and I agree to an extent but I don't think I've done that badly for the last 35 years!

I'm still feeling raw and vulnerable and scared.

Tygr good for you for persevering in trying to find yourself a therapist. I can’t believe that uni counselling is only FIFTEEN minutes!!!!! That is so bizarre and I’m really sorry it wasn’t any use to you at all.

I hope you do get to see the therapist you emailed. Have you heard back from her yet?

I get how you found the T’s words offensive, but at the same time he’s right in a way, therapy isn’t really a luxury, if it works then its value is immeasurable. Take it from me who at 55 have only just found what I think is the right T for me, the sooner you can get your head sorted, the better. It’s very easy to get on with life and push all the problems away only to have them surface further down the line with a vengeance.

I’m sorry you’re feeling vulnerable and scared . Please do reach out here for support.

LL

Thanks LL.

The 15 minutes wasn't a proper session. But seeing as it was 4 weeks since my initial session and another 2 weeks before I could be seen again, 15 minutes to check in in 6 weeks is a bit pants.

But I wasn't pinning my hopes on it and it's free so I suppose you can't expect too much.

Anyway. Yes! She has got back to me and we've arranged an initial session in January. I decided that doing it before Christmas wouldn't be a good idea as if we decide to carry on, we'd immediately start with a break so starting in January with a view to carrying on is good I think.

I've only exchanged a few emails discussing practicalities but she seems nice from what I can tell!

I've also been exchanging very brief emails with the therapist I saw on Friday. He said I could email him to let him know how I was getting on. I'd feel funny opening up too much but it's nice that I've been able to tell him about making an appointment with the therapist he recommended.

Yay Tygr, good to hear that you've heard back from the T and even have an appointment lined up. Fingers crossed that it goes well and she's the right T for you.

Also good that you are maintaining some contact with the T you saw - at least it's some kind of lifeline that might just keep you afloat if things start to get overwhelming, until you get to see your own T.

Glad things are moving for you (((( Tygr ))))

LL

So...

The day has finally come. I have my first appointment with the potential new T tomorrow. I will just be open to whatever happens but obviously I hope we're a good fit, her rates are reasonable and it seems like it will work out. Am so so anxious about it. I just spent an hour on Google maps working out the best way to get to her house - it's in the middle of the countryside down some single track country roads so I'm hoping I don't bump into any tractors coming in the opposite direction! Freaking out ever so slightly!

Just about to go to bed and try to forget about it until the morning.

Eek. Trying not to expect too much as initial meetings are just that.

tygr,
I hope the first meeting goes well and you can feel a sense of connection. Let us know how it goes.

AG

Thank you both

It was a very good first session. I felt comfortable and was able to open up. She asked pertinent questions and came up with some interesting insights.

She has an approach which appeals to me. She's a Jungian so related my life story to mythology, archetypes and the collective unconscious. This might put some off but I think it could be right up my street!

But generally I feel very positive about it and hope I've found someone who can help me with the next few steps of my journey. Trying not to get too carried away but feeling very good about it