Hi Cat!
I'm soooo glad it's summer. I'm a Special Ed teacher and this has been the longest, most draining, difficult year of my career. T and P and my DH pretty much insisted I take the summer off (first time in 9 years).

Heading to the Midwest to visit parents in a couple weeks. It's going to be a long trip, 16 days... Starting to worry about that a little now. I'm flying there a week before H and 18yos drive out. Needed to have some time to work out some issues with dad and mom before my family arrives. Now I'm questioning that decision...

I also just got a new job in a new district, so I'll be consumed with that as soon as we return from the trip. Actually I'm already getting involved, packing my things and getting settled in the new classroom. I just know it's a good thing I've got the summer off to prep for the new job, hopefully that will minimize a lot of the stress associated with changing jobs.

I'm also spending hours at the gym, working hard to lose the weight I put on over the past few years in unhealthy situations at work and at home. I am working toward a very specific goal, but more on that later. And I've become addicted to yoga in addition to my regular workouts.

So the relaxing summer I'm supposed to be having is really quite busy, but busy with things I'm choosing (at least for the most part) to do. And then of course there's sessions with T and getting to know new friends right here in this forum. Everyone has been so welcoming, and it's so helpful to know others are going through similar things.

And while you're eating all the raspberries, I'm eating about half the world's supply of strawberries.

Awww, neat idea for a thread. You guys both sound really busy.

Boo is out for the Summer, so I don't have the six hours I would usually have to myself. Also, I'm so triggered lately, I find it hard to read/respond much at times on here lately, which bums me out.

We're getting our place ready to sell, so I spent all day today just organizing/packing stuff we won't need in the near future/cleaning. It took me all day just to deal with H's electronic/computer clutter that he had hiding everywhere around the desk and spread all over tables. Somehow I have to get the whole house organized and scrubbed down by Tuesday morning. I think until it sells, I will spend a lot of my time keeping the place ultra clean (not easy with a three-year-old, a H who is messier than a three-year-old and two cats).

H has the next two weeks off. We will be going to a wedding of my oldest sister's friend (another older sister's ex, awkward) and it is at a camp ground, so we are taking Boo camping (for free!) for three or four days on Thursday. We're hoping to take Boo to the zoo/museum to see her friend who I nannied for and starts preschool on Monday...so she doesn't miss her too much.

My job just wrapped up on Friday, so I will be applying for other childcare positions that fit my schedule needs.

If all goes well with the home sale, we'll be moving sometime this Summer. I hope we are able to move by late August (not likely), so we can not have Boo have to switch schools a few months in.

Anyway, sorry, this probably should have been more about fun stuff, but most of what is going on this Summer is just life stuff. But, I'm looking forward to getting through it and settled into wherever we're meant to be next. Also, despite the exhaustion and triggers, it did feel good to get rid of and/or pack H's clutter. It's a major trigger for me, because of the way my mom's house was.

I think my most exciting and definitive goal for the summer is reading "The Brothers Karamazov" by Dostoevsky. It's one of those classics I've never read but always meant to, and I've told myself by the end of this summer I'm doing it! I have some other things on my reading list too, but they are more negotiable.

I dunno. I guess I'm not actually doing a lot besides maintaining the house, the two babies, and what remains of my sanity (also trying to regain some of that which was lost, hence therapy and this forum).

I finally found a religious community I feel okay about being part of. . . at least for now, we'll see how it goes. Part of my focus this summer will probably involve integrating that.

Great thread, btw, Cat.

Draggers, you committed a cardinal sin, you threw out come computer cables. I bet H will need them next week and will be looking for them ( i am an ex I.T. person, I just love those cables).

In my part of the world we are in winter - so no long summer holidays for us. Although we are going to Singapore and Indonesia for 2 weeks soon and it will be warm and sunny there.

SD

Uh oh - if throwing away cables is a cardinal sin I'm in alot of trouble! I hired these people to clean out my junk last weekend and threw away everything I haven't seen or touched in about 15 years! Including xtra batteries, harddrives, cd drives and anything else that was laying around in boxes.

This past weekend I spent cleaning the basement and garage. Bleached all the concrete walls in the basement and now it is beautifully empty!

I'm on vacation this week and working inside the house. I have two bedrooms that are really just clutter rooms. Everything is going there too. The grandkids want to sleep over and I don't have a bed or a place to put it yet!

As you can all see, I'm still alive and kicking. Just very busy trying to stay that way. I've been having a tought time and trying to keep my head up and a smile on my face can get really tiring.

I did just finish my last payment on my consolidation for my bills. Yippee. That just leaves me two outstanding bills that weren't included. Now I can pay those. It is coming together financially, which will keep my partner off my back. She is a money fiend! yes fiend, crazy over money and bills. It's getting there slowly.

I actually told my t a couple of weeks ago that I hope all this is worth it. Struggling, two jobs, working, living, hopefully it will all start to make me feel better about life and living. I guess we'll see.

This week is a little tough for me. Old thoughts of killing myself on my birthday and getting out of here. So I am working like a dog cleaning and keeping busy so I don't have to think about it.

I saw my parents yesterday, for Father's day. What a trip. Dad didn't like his present and told me so. Also told me what he wants instead. Then to top it off, he told me I was fat and had to lose weight or I would be just like my mother! Oh God! I kind of lauhed it off because of his own issues but it hurt a little too. What can I do? I just laughed and said no problem.

So, hopefully it is all worth it. I'm trying anyway.

Awww! I don't hate anyone on here! You all are my online family and frankly, most of the time, I like you guys better than my real family.

The end of school slammed into me hard. That's what happens when you leave a months worth of assessments to be completed in one week! Thankfully, everything went wonderfully and it was a smooth end of the year for the first time ever!

This summer I have few plans, and I'm ok with that, actually! Therapy a few times a week, trips to the zoo with my friend and her kids, lots of reading, and hopefully some home projects I've been avoiding. A no stress summer is my goal!

Draggers - i have lots of boxes of cables and I know exactly where to go when I need a gadget... I am proud of all my gadgets.

When i read your and Smiley's post - I said out loud "oh noooo" because you had ditched boxes of good stuff. Smiley you sound like you are doing some incredibly good stuff and getting on top of a few things. I hope you get through the week without too many triggers - and happy birthday!!! I bet that feeling of getting those bills paid off is a great one.

Everyone is talking about summer and holidays and end of school..... we are the opposite here. Right in the middle of the school year, freezing cold, rainy and miserable. Boo hooo.. Sniff..

SD

Hiya, Cat! Hi all- I just decided to l9og on today, cause I'm having a computer catch up day- and saw this post- Sounds like people are working hard on their healing- I loved your post Smiley, and I was inspired by your decluttering- I have to do the same!

I'm putting together a massive new curriculum for my kids- it covers the next 4 years and it is d3ecidedly challenging, so I have been extrememly busy doing that. Miss you all!

Love Beebs

quote:

Cat - I daresay all of us on the forum have taken a "turn" being certain that everyone hates us!

lol! I did too, and then I left for awhile to the midswest for some family visits and peronal healing to close some chaoters in my life's book.

I'm a teacher so very grateful for some time to renew and reenergize myself before August. I'm finishing my masters and generally just too busy - but with non-work stuff so it's nice.

It was good to come on this morning and catch up on some news from ya'll after not having been here in weeks. Take crae everyone!

I haven't been here because I couldn't log in. I thought it was because I had been quiet so the admin deleted me as an inactive user, however, it seems that I was trying to log in with my user name instead of my email address

Ho hum, what an idiot

I love you all so much and love hearing what everyone is up to! I've been so overwhelmed. This is yet another one of my threads I will come back to and individually reply I've been reading though and... hm I thank you all so much for also saying you've felt the 'omg every hates me' stuff too. We're adorable.