When I went on anti-depressants, my dose got high enough that it pretty much erased all my social anxiety. So, when I came off of anti-depressants, I knew that it didn't all have to be as scary as it seemed. This helps some, for example, I'm no longer so petrified of talking to a co-worker in another department that I'm unable to get myself out of my chair.

I'm still a mess when it comes to strangers and gatherings / activities outside of work. I recently started to go to Karate. Each time I went, I'd be on the verge of tears and running home. I'm still doing that, but it's not quite as intense. I've been prescribed some anti-anxiety drugs, so I'll take those before class if I'm not feeling so brave. It helps some.

So, I'm not sure that's terribly encouraging :| I try not to let the fear get the best of me, all the time. It does a lot of the time though. I don't think that just sticking yourself in terrifying situations all the time is the right way to go. I think you have to do it a little at a time, so you don't get completely overwhelmed and weary.

I do find that it can help when I tell people I am nervous, and that it's because social stuff is hard for me and it's not them in particular.

In any case, hang in there! My T seems to have infinite patience, and I bet yours has more then you think. Have you tried discussing this with your T?

quote:

my T says that you handle fear by facing what you are afraid of

I deal with a lot of fear and social anxiety too. My T's attitude about dealing with fear is that it needs to be met with kindness, gentleness and compassion. So, be kind and gentle and compassionate towards yourself. There is a part of our brain that just does fear and does it really well and once it is on overdrive it is hard to stop.

So, facing our fears is part of the process of minimizing them but also being kind, gentle and compassionate with ourselves about being afraid means that sometimes we don't force ourselves to face them we baby ourselves and tell ourselves that it is OK and not our fault that we are afraid.

Ok, so I was kind of a bummer in my earlier post.

Summer - When I was a teen, I got a part time job and it was one of the best things I ever did in terms of my social anxiety. For whatever reason, it's easier for me to do that sort of thing (talk to people) when its my job rather then just to socialize. I think I'd encourage him to get a part time job, I think there's a lot of good things about having one, as long as he can keep up with his other commitments.

Alternately, maybe he'd be interested in a structured activity, sports, a martial arts class, after school activity? For me, it helps if the activity is structured. I don't want anything to do with parties, for example, because I have no idea what to do with myself, but I enjoy Karate, because they always keep me busy doing something.