Hi scars


Yes I've done it. What's your homework?

One of my list of 5 things was that I distance myself from my kids to try and protect them from how I feel, so they cannot see me not coping.

My homework and thing to do, is to tell my daughter how I am feeling, she is 16. I have to do this within the next 2 weeks.

Of course it is doable but I never express how I am feeling in the house. Everything is always ok!!

So I feel that this therapy is going to give me lots of headaches!!!!!

((((Scars))))
That is a big ask from your T. Like you, I find
expressing feelings really hard to do.
Is it true to say that the closer we are
to someone the easier in general it is?
I'm sure you are close to your daughter
so as you say, it is doable.
I found it quite useful to download
a list of potential feelings from
the web and highlight those most
relevant to me and to try to identify
the underlying cause or source of
each one. Not only the 'negative' ones
but the positive feelings as well.
Are there any positives you can share
with your daughter as well?
I dont know if this helps you at all
but I did find it useful for putting
the right name to each feeling depending
on the strength and the degree of
effect each one has on my daily life.

Good luck with it; at least you have
a little time to think it through.

Do you have an example AV?

Hi Scars,

Yes, this is the link to the list I used. I ended up copying and pasting it into a document.

List of feelings

Is it worth trying to identify say, the six most relevant to you, and focussing on those?

Looking back at my notes for T, I found this:-

Optimistic; having found a T who really cares and understands

Anxious; phobic about certain things and fearful generally

Alone; just W and work in my life, neither fulfilling any needs, no family or friends for support

Inferior; from a total lack of validation of my worth by parents or peers

Reserved; complete lack of self confidence c/w social phobia

Lost; no sense of purpose to my life, no ambitions or dreams, no sense of self

Trapped; stuck in a loveless marriage with no sense of my own space or freedom

These gave us things to focus on and look at in more detail but the only person I could express them to was T herself.

AV.

thank you Av, I have printed the list and will take a close look at it later.