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4 replies

some flat out advice please

A arresteddevelopmentMember
Hello there everyone, Im new here and is my first online forum...

umm... I have been in therapy for a few years now treating BPD, depression, substance abuse.. I was sent to a private psych ward for 2 years to get better and it really changed my life - saved it!!

I have been free from my BPD behaviors for a few years now however am still very isolated and have just very recently found myself repeating an embarrassing old behavior.

For the first time in 3 years I was asked out by a guy. I have chosen to be single while I was getting well after many - actually all unsuccessful relationships. We had a few dates and I ended up sleeping with him - stupid idea! I became quickly attached. This wasn't reciprocated. Instead yesterday I sent him 8 texts with no reply and then I realised I was harassing him! I feel so ashamed!! Its really overwhelmed me. It could have been any guy.

My friends don't understand and are angry with me too.. I don't even understand myself. I have a week before I see my T again. Last week she said that the situation was providing useful information about how I was as a child.. attachment, abandonment.

But my behavior!!! god i feel so awful!! I am really sad that I will probably never be able to have a successful relationship unless I can get these reactions and feelings under control.

I have been reactionally depressed from what I've done and how I feel... not eating, studying, etc.. please can someone give me some advise..

shamefully

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ladygreyladygreyMember
Can you remove his phone number from your address book in your cell phone, as well as go back and deleted the texts you sent him as well as any texts you have received in the past from him (so that you have removed all traces of his phone number from his cell phone).

Don't beat yourself up over a slip-up. Instead, give yourself credit for recognizing that you were falling into your old patterns of behavior. Now is the time to intervene and stop yourself from going even further down that path. You have already taken the first steps.

also, welcome to the forum.
nobledaughternobledaughterMember
Hi Arrested Dev, I really feel for you. I understand what it is to repeat old patterns and the frustration. This is but a moment in time and it doesn't take away any of your progress. You need to recognize your progress even in the face of a slip. This situation can only really hurt you if you use it to beat yourself up. You're not motivated but emotional stress like this causes exhaustion. Get the sleep you need. Process this through thoroughly with your therapist. Look at your personal values and set some guidelines for yourself as to how to move forward in relationships. Don't leave it up to feelings and reactions. Plan your behavior. I'm not sure if you believe in God or Satan. However, Satan, the father of all lies wants you to be bound to shame. That is not who you really are. Smiler

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