Hi mlc,

I'm not too experienced in therapy, and I'm having lots of my own T troubles, but just wanted to say I'm sorry you're having worries about your issues with your T. Take what I have to say here lightly, because I'm no expert on any of this, and my T is far from 'perfect'. My main concern is with her not charging your insurance deductible. Has she never charged it? This is strange. Also, Ts should keep to the time, but it's up to them, and I don't see an issue with her answering your emails and phone calls. I do think it's a bit much to do so while she's on family vacations, but it's her at her own discretion. She really should be able to handle you and be in control of the situation as far as what she allows you to get away with. I can see how you would be upset about her ending your session fifteen minutes early when it was HER fault for being late instead of yours, and maybe because of all the 'extras' she does for you she felt entitled to in just that once. It's worth asking her about all of this, because it's causing you so much confusion and to me these issues are worth getting some answers to. Good luck, and hopefully someone with more experience and better insight will chime in here.

MTF

Thank You MTF for your thoughts and advice...I definitely will talk more with her about all of this...thank You for caring...Sincerely, mlc

Hi Mic-
I don't know if we have ever spoken before, but I can surely relate right now with- "trouble with T's".
This sounds like a boundry issue, and I think discussing all of this with your T will help you. You are raising some very good points and because each T has their own style, their own graces and limits, it is hard to say what is right or normal for each situation.
My first thought when reading your situation was that your T was inexperienced or young- new to the profession, and perhaps she was trying to make a good impression. Perhaps she has not yest established her own sense of boundries.
Communication is the key.
I wish you the best.
Upon writing this- I am being convicted to take my own medicine and communicate with my T as well- so thanks for the topic.

Hi Monte, Hi Helle, thank You for your replies--it means alot to me that you thought enough to respond, esp. since I don't post often on this site. Helle, can you explain more about the following..."being convicted to take my medicine and communicate with my T"...I'm curious about what you are going through...thanks again...

I've been feeling really depressed about what all this means with my T...I called her to process something that was going on with my sister and she asked me, "Have you processed this with anyone else?" She knows that I don't have many close friends...so I am getting the impression that she is trying to push me to be more independent(sp?) from her and that she does think she is doing too much for me...I feel as though I don't know where to turn...I feel like I can't go to her anymore; and since I'm having issues with my sister...I feel I can't go to her anymore either...I feel really alone...I'm going to talk more with my T about this next time I see her(in two long weeks)--I'm definitely not going to contact her before then, though...considering...I feel so depressed! like once again I'm overextending people in my life...sometimes I feel like being anorexic again...the rules were simpler...mlc

Hi Mic,
Sorry to hear that you are suffering. Sometimes therapy is so damn hard, but sticking with it especially through the tough times(as I sit here contemplating taking a break- because it is tough for me too right now).
I can also relate to the dependency thing, and the sister thing, and the not wanting to contact your therapist, and the not allowing people to get to know me, but not the anorexic thing.
All I can tell you is- overall I am much better at the friend thing and I can feel stuff. Before therapy I had trouble feeling any emotion other than anger, and even though it is hard work- it is really worth it. I was always confused- and had confused thinking when it came to emotions. That fog is lifting now, somewhat and I have only been in therapy for 15 months (and yeah 2 wks can be eternity sometimes- that is when I go)
You can read all about me and my issues on the thread called Poety- Care to share? Something like that. I tried writing down my feelings as a poem, and i scribbled out a draft. It is open for all to share.
Best of luck to you Mic!